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Parenting, what value or habit did you instill in your offspring that has had surprising payback?

great lakes momgreat lakes mom 3067 replies28 threads Senior Member
I was thinking of an example from my own life this morning, that will reply to later. But I would appreciate hearing from others. It can be fascinating to look at your kids and realize how much their habits are like yours, even if unanticipated.
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Replies to: Parenting, what value or habit did you instill in your offspring that has had surprising payback?

  • oldfortoldfort 23465 replies308 threads Senior Member
    Dream big, never take no for an answer.
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  • crknwk2000crknwk2000 380 replies15 threads Member
    Make your bed every morning.
    (Good habit to start the day right and promotes other good habits)

    Your word is your honor. (If you say you're going to do something, you do it. Also, lying in our house is the absolute worst. Our kids know they can be honest with us, even if it's hard)

    Pinkie promise. (Kind of goes back to "your word is your honor" but if you pinkie promise about something, it is locked and you are 100% telling the truth)

    Bottom line, install good basic habits like making your bed and keeping your room clean and don't lie.
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  • crknwk2000crknwk2000 380 replies15 threads Member
    ^techmom99, totally hear you about the voting. This was the first year my 18 year old could vote and she asked me, after turning in her absentee ballot, "Why would someone not vote??" Like she just couldn't comprehend that. I loved that moment and hope she keeps that feeling her whole life.
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  • rosered55rosered55 4834 replies124 threads Senior Member
    The payback hasn't been surprising, but otherwise here are the values and habits I'm glad my daughters have picked up: compassion; helpfulness; fortitude; sensitivity to other people's emotions.

    Yesterday, D2 and I celebrated Christmas with my side of the family. My mom bitingly "joked" about my daughter not helping. D2 had made one of the foods we brought, wrapped presents, and gone grocery shopping with me beforehand. The thing she didn't do, AT MY REQUEST, was help take boxes out to the car when we were getting ready to leave. I wanted her to stay inside, to keep an eye on our dog, who I was concerned might try to bolt when I was going in and out. Meanwhile, my niece wasn't doing anything to help her dad, and no snarky comments were made.
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  • HImomHImom 36017 replies396 threads Senior Member
    Not surprised but pleased that the kids are both good at living below their means, thoughtful of others, willing and able to work hard. D is very empathetic and attuned to others, while S continues to work on this. S is amazing at finding bargains.
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  • Leigh22Leigh22 1022 replies9 threads Senior Member
    The bed making thing makes me laugh. I make mine every day as does my older son. I can’t stand getting into an unmade bed at night. My younger S however never makes his bed - it resembles a bird’s nest.
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  • DustyfeathersDustyfeathers 3633 replies85 threads Senior Member
    - Being humble -- that includes living below your means.
    - Appreciating the arts -- creating art, participating in art, understanding art, understanding how art is made by others
    - Reading-- they have habits of reading that surprise me. I never see one child reading and s/he is always saying "oh i read that" or "in the original of X, it says such and such " -- I asked how is it that you've read that? I only ever see you on your computer. The answer: I download the pdf of the book.
    - Voting and being politically active in other ways
    - Cooking -- they all can cook well and with confidence. Our motto is "if you can read, you can cook"
    - Working out-- every day.
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  • HImomHImom 36017 replies396 threads Senior Member
    Oh yeah, our kids are avid readers, critical thinkers, enjoy music much more than I did at their ages, especially classical.
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  • lookingforwardlookingforward 35380 replies399 threads Senior Member
    Surprising payback? It came from "paying back." Both of mine got the message about community service, where you stretch and have some impact, even small, with the people who need it. Both continued during college. One's payback was a grant post-grad, based largely on this side experience. She continues service. The other went into a field that supports others.

    It all started because I wanted them to be grateful for their own plusses, be willing to do for others.
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  • rosered55rosered55 4834 replies124 threads Senior Member
    BTW, my daughters share these values and habits with me, but I shouldn't take credit for them nor for their other achievements.
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  • bgbg4usbgbg4us 1605 replies46 threads Senior Member
    edited December 2018
    piano lessons. I love it when our kids are in random places, see a piano, and start playing. fun for all!

    oh. and my mom was a lifeguard in the 60s. I lifeguarded and taught in the 80s. and my 2 sons have lifeguarded and taught recently. They've both had "saves" and that's so worthwhile.
    edited December 2018
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