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Traveling with your adult kids and their significant others


Replies to: Traveling with your adult kids and their significant others

  • TexasCollegeMomTexasCollegeMom Registered User Posts: 236 Junior Member
    My parents took my family and my brother's family on vacations for 10 years. It was very generous of them as they covered all costs and we went on some amazing trips and created wonderful family memories. The biggest stress was getting 10 of us on the same time frame to get out the door in the morning. I think talking the night before is critical. We don't have the financial resources to do this for our kids.
    Our daughter lives in Amsterdam with her husband and we're taking them to Germany this summer. I miss my D so much that I expected to spend every moment with her. I'm glad this forum reminds me that they will need some down time away from us!
    I've booked apartments/ homes where they will have their own room and we will have an area to cook together which we enjoy. We're paying for flights, car rental, overnight accommodations and groceries.
    My son in law is great but he tends to want to stop for mid-day coffee breaks, order appetizers and more expensive entrees than we typically would order. I've told my daughter that we will run separate tabs at restaurants but give them them a set amount of money to cover their meals. I think this will help me relax when he orders all the extras and also allow him to order whatever he wants.
    While I asked their input on the itinerary, I need to remember that he hasn't spent 10 years traveling with us and we need to create new traditionss.
  • gouf78gouf78 Registered User Posts: 7,712 Senior Member
    I love traveling with my kids because we’re enough alike to enjoy the schedule. We’re up and ready to go without hassle. We like the same types of food etc. My kids are easier going than I am when it comes to travel so having them with me actually makes me relax more.
  • DingrasDadDingrasDad Registered User Posts: 5 New Member
    edited May 24
    New to this forum. We are traveling as a family (DW and 2 DDs) this summer. DD1 is bringing long time SO. Hopefully it will go well. it's an 8 day trip so we have days that we scheduled that we are together touring but there are few days that are "free" for the DD1 and SO. Just to give them a break from us.

    For the most part, we are paying for everything except for their expenses when they're by themselves. We also offered to pay for SO's flight but he insisted that he'll cover his plane ticket. Which is nice.

    Any advice for first time parent traveling with kid's SO?
  • fendergirlfendergirl Registered User Posts: 4,757 Senior Member
    @DingrasDad , do you know the SO well?
  • doschicosdoschicos Registered User Posts: 20,369 Senior Member
    Just completed a trip with my elders and it made traveling with my young adult kids seem like a breeze.
  • doschicosdoschicos Registered User Posts: 20,369 Senior Member
    "Any advice for first time parent traveling with kid's SO?"

    I operate under the assumption they will be a permanent part of the family and try to be very accepting and welcoming.

    I also think you are smart to schedule some time where they younger folks can do things on their own. We are each used to family members quirks and idiosyncrasies but non family members aren't. So good to give them a break for a bit. :)
  • momofsenior1momofsenior1 Registered User Posts: 5,769 Senior Member
    We did ski vacations with both sets of parents when we were young. It think it was fun because there was a clear activity focus and everyone was usually exhausted by the end of the day.

    We have also done beach vacations which have been very stressful.

    I think at this point, I would be open to a family cruise since there can be a lot of autonomy on a ship but not much else. We just have very different priorities on vacation.
  • jym626jym626 Registered User Posts: 57,360 Senior Member
    @momofsenior1 - Agree that the ski trips are fun. We did a cruise and that was fun too. A good mix of together time and separate time. Haven't done a family beach trip, but we do go out to visit them and the grandbaby as often as they will let us, but worry that we get in their hair. But with the time difference we are awake early and get up with the baby and they can sleep. Win, win!
  • stradmomstradmom Registered User Posts: 4,972 Senior Member
    Following this with interest. Have travelled with my own kids, but would like to do a "family trip" with S and his (one month out) new wife. I like the idea of establishing group times/meals and independent other times.
  • 1214mom1214mom Registered User Posts: 4,565 Senior Member
    We have only traveled with one SO, but it went really well. Fortunately she (SO) likes our family, and she probably enjoyed the trip more than my son. She hung out with all of us, and didn’t need him to be with her all the time. When we go on trips now, we usually have dinner together, and if we have an excursion planned we all tend to Participate. We usually pay for everything for the trip except if people go off on Their own to do things.
  • gouf78gouf78 Registered User Posts: 7,712 Senior Member
    SO advice—welcome them like part of the family but don’t count necessarily on that happening.
  • DingrasDadDingrasDad Registered User Posts: 5 New Member
    @fendergirl "do you know the SO well?"
    Well, I can't say I know him well, but I know that the relationship is very serious. He and my DD2 had been together since sophomore college. They went to the same college together and graduated last year. Currently DD2 is living with us and SO is at the opposite coast. They have good paying respective jobs while trying to figure out graduate school and their next step in life.

    Anyway, we met him the first time when he visited my daughter Junior year Christmas break while visiting a friend 2 hours away from us. The next time that we saw him was during graduation. Also met his family and had a brunch with them. Since then he visited us (staying in our home) 3 times. He spent the recent holidays (Christmas till New year) with us. He's easy to get along and very easygoing and yes @gouf78 and @doschicos , we welcome him and treat him as part of our family.

    But sometimes, since they're not married yet (or engaged for that matter), there's is that reservation in my and DW's part to get really close to him.
  • DingrasDadDingrasDad Registered User Posts: 5 New Member
    ^^ Oops, I meant DD1. DD2 is too young (middle school) to have an SO. LOL
  • fendergirlfendergirl Registered User Posts: 4,757 Senior Member
    @DingrasDad , hey, I had a boyfriend in junior high! ;)

    My advice, give them some time alone on the trip, especially since they don't see each other very often right now. But still include them on things.

  • WellspringWellspring Registered User Posts: 1,445 Senior Member
    One problem we had when we traveled with son , daughter and daughter's significant other was that my son, who was 7 years younger than daughter and SO was not happy when they left to spend time together and he was left with us, the parents. We probably should have invited one of his friends.
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