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What are some of your funny, family allusions?? How did they come about?

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Replies to: What are some of your funny, family allusions?? How did they come about?

  • busdriver11busdriver11 15187 replies28 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    According to my father, "If you have to eat poop, make sure it's your own". He means this literally, and will periodically remind us all of this. He never has come up with a situation where we might have to eat our own poop, unsurprisingly. There are occasions where this phrase comes in handy, always followed by hysterical laughter.
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  • intparentintparent 36291 replies644 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    Your cough story reminds me - we use the phrase “biscuit cough” from the original Winnie the Pooh books. Roo coughs, and Kanga says he has to stay home. He complains that it is a “biscuit cough, not one you tell about” (meaning a bit of biscuit in the windpipe, and that he is not getting sick). So when someone coughs, they are asked if it is a biscuit cough, or are they getting sick?
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  • HImomHImom 34093 replies389 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited June 4
    My kids have had chronic health conditions for most of their lives now, which limits their stamina to varying degrees. D’s sweet friends ask her if she’s REALLY sick or just HIdaughter sick (meaning stamina low due to her chronic condition). If the latter, they ask if she’d rather come over or have them come over to hang around together. Most of the time, it’s a flare of the depleted stamina.

    She has very thoughtful friends who try to include her as much as her health allows.

    H always claims he is heading back to the (like a good horse, though he’s rarely ever ridden), when he’s on autopilot driving back home instead of stopping for errands.
    edited June 4
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  • LennonLennon 118 replies2 postsRegistered User Junior Member
    edited June 4
    Funny. My grandmother would get confused/need help telling stories and would just start sputtering random names of her brothers and sisters to help her out. So now our family will just randomly call out "Loretta, Nelson, Hip!" when we get off track in conversations. (Nelson and Hip are the same person- he was known as Uncle Hip.) My Dad made a joke one time that Morgan Fairchild was his favorite dramatic actress, so we use that a lot for various C-list and below celebs. He also had a running schtick about Thomas Kincaid whose marketing line was "the painter of light" - if you know who that is - his paintings are all over the place. We pay him fake reverence and always call him the painter of light. My mom once told my very beautiful sister that "stupid isn't pretty" and my sister and I have had a hay day with that for the last 20 years. My husband's grandmother lived to be 98. She loved bread. Every time she ate at our house, I would put a big basket of bread right in front of her plate. EVERY time, she'd sit her little body in chair and pipe up disappointedly "What? No bread?!" - so we say that a lot at big family dinners.
    edited June 4
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  • HImomHImom 34093 replies389 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    Sorry, the phone cut off the word—“Heading to the barn” means on autopilot forgetting errands on the way home.
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  • saillakeeriesaillakeerie 2226 replies0 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    We speak in a lot of movie quotes too (several from Vacation). My wife and I, anytime someone says they need money and another person asks how much, the answer is always "About $52,000" from Cousin Eddie in Vacation. And if we go to eat somewhere and there is no meat, the question of no meat in this is typically met with "You get enough meat at home, Claude" And that is a mix of two quotes from Vacation.

    And if things are not going well (in pretty much anything), and someone asks "how is it going?" I always respond with "Looks like University of Illinois" from Risky Business.
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  • WayOutWestMomWayOutWestMom 10114 replies200 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    Once during a very long car trip through the Rockies, Dh suggested to the kids that they count how many cows they saw as a way to keep them occupied. Well.... that didn't last long, but the ever since then the nicknames the girls invented on the trip have stuck---Colorado is now "Cow-a-rado" and Utah is "Moo-tah."
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  • CTmom2018CTmom2018 788 replies10 postsRegistered User Member
    edited June 4
    I love these stories!

    We have a number of allusions in our family, too. Several are from the BBC version of Pride & Prejudice.

    "Other way, Mr. Collins!" (Mr. Collins goes the wrong way at the dance, see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKNj7wVhyP8). Our kitchen is small, and it's not unusual, especially around mealtimes, for the 3 of us to nearly collide when we're getting things from the kitchen and dining room. It's usually my daughter who calls out, "Other way, Mr. Collins!"

    "Oh, now I understand." (in exaggerated British accent and fluted voice). The socially awkward Mr. Collins has compared the apartment of Elizabeth Bennet's aunt, Mrs. Philips, to the "small summer breakfast room at Rosings.". Mrs. Philips is insulted until she is made to understand that Rosings is grand and that a compliment was intended. She says, "Oh, now I understand".

    "The Look". Mr. Darcy gives Elizabeth "the look" (see the 2nd photo on this page: https://janeausteninvermont.blog/2013/11/25/mr-darcys-feelings-or-what-jane-austen-really-tells-us-about-her-hero/)
    But other characters give each other "the look" too. Samwise gives Frodo "the look". We now call out "the look" in films or TV whenever we see it.

    "Lots in common". This allusion is to the cartoon video of Charlotte's Web. Whenever my daughter and I find we have yet another thing in common (e.g. I just this week bought both of us identical running shoes from T.J. Maxx, and we both wear the same size), one of us will burst into song: "Cause we've got LOTS in common where it really counts, where it REALLY counts we have large amounts" etc.

    "Callapitter". As a young child, my daughter used to say "callapitter" instead of caterpillar. Then one day she just stopped saying it the wrong way. Now "callapitter" refers to anything she outgrew.

    "Conrad". This one comes from Madame Secretary. One evening as we were watching the show, Elizabeth addressed the president as "Conrad" instead of "Mr. President". My H, forgetting that in the show Conrad and Elizabeth are longtime friends from their days at the CIA, asked, "Why did she call him Conrad?"

    I knew what he meant, but thought I'd have some fun with him, and said, "Well that's just a good name to call people." Turning to my daughter, I asked her, "How's it going, Conrad?" She, catching on, replied to me, "Just fine, Conrad, how's it with you?" From there we created the Conrad Continuum-- like the Q Continuum for Star Trek fans. D and I still address each other as Conrad sometimes. At college, when at some fun activity they made small embossed license plates with their names on them, she made one that said "Conrad", which is now a magnet on our fridge.

    "Conrad" expanded to mean anything generic. One day when I was driving her back to college she pointed to a road that passed over the highway as we entered NY, where we have to take particular care as people entering I-15 from that on-ramp sometimes fail to stop and yield to highway traffic, despite the stop sign. She asked, "Is that a particular road?" (meaning, is that a numbered route?" ) It's route 120A, but I ran with it and said, "No, that's Conrad road." She laughed and said "Conroad!"
    It's corny but we get laughs from it.

    Finally-- "It's too late for you-- you're already in the hole!", from the earthquake scene in This Is The End.

    So many more... but I have to stop here.
    edited June 4
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  • TQfromtheUTQfromtheU 1540 replies17 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    My father started two family allusions at my wedding 30+ years ago. Someone told him we were a nice looking family. He puffed his chest out, holding his lapels and replied "I knooooow". Later, someone told him he looked good in a suit, and he replied, "No, I make this suit look good."

    My sister and grandmother would do the Good night, John Boy, when we visited over the circle, using The Waltons' show names instead of our real names.

    I started "Happy Sleepy" as a way of saying goodnight to my children as babies and toddlers. My son's girlfriend just looked at us.
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  • HImomHImom 34093 replies389 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    One that happened is “Is that true or did you make it up?” It was something I heard all weekend when I met my family member’s BF and I mentioned anything he hadn’t heard before. He’d then ask me my sources.

    It was a very long and weird weekend. Now, sometimes in our nuclear family, we say, “I remember xxxx.” If cross examined, we say, “I must’ve just nade it up.”



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  • HImomHImom 34093 replies389 postsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited June 4
    Oh yeah, mom always said, “No rings, no strings,” which I explained to my then BFs meant I couldn’t see them exclusively unless & until I was formally engaged. I did date different men simultaneously before H and I were engaged.

    Mom also said, “ Why buy the cow when you give the milk for free,” which she also told us girls — will leave interpretations to your imagination. All of us girls are happily married to our original spouses.
    edited June 4
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  • LynnskiLynnski 245 replies12 postsRegistered User Junior Member
    All the comments from @CTmom2018 about Conrad are so great. I have to watch Madame Secretary!

    My dad's name is Conrad, and he is an inveterate eater off of other people's plates. It's never safe to "save the best for last" when he's around. One of the very first times he met my (now) husband, we were seated at the same table at a formal catered event. Near the end of the meal, Dad asked my new beau, "Are you going to eat that?" and simultaneously SNATCHED the last morsel from his plate and popped it into mouth! This was shocking to everyone... except his children (and now his grandchildren). We call this behavior "pulling a Conrad."

    Dad's a too-thin octogenarian now, but he'll never live down this reputation. Other favorite Conrad-isms:

    "Put on a hat"
    Said any time someone is cold, indoors or out, summer or winter, even if they're already wearing a hat

    "Go sit"
    Said any time someone is having belly pain. What's implied is that the sitting happens on the toilet.

    "Was the cat sick when you left?"
    Full story upthread #30. Said any time there's a long explanation that's deliberately being skipped.
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