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White man calls police on black man waiting for a friend in apartment building

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Replies to: White man calls police on black man waiting for a friend in apartment building

  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus 78219 replies689 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    As a practical matter, if there are commonly ignored rules that you may encounter, always plan for them to be enforced, even if 99% of the time they are not. You may just run into the 1% who are rules sticklers or paranoid enough to enforce the rule.

    And if you appear to be of a profile associated with what the rule is meant to stop, expect the to encounter more rule enforcement than most people will, because (in addition to rules sticklers and paranoids who will enforce the rule on everyone) there will also be those who will selectively enforce the rule for prejudicial reasons.
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  • mycupofteamycupoftea 486 replies16 threadsRegistered User Member
    What if someone decided to tailgate into an apartment? Would the owner also be blamed for calling police? What is the difference between entering a private residential building and a private apartment? How about a townhouse with 2 or 3 units and a shared hallway behind a locked front door (a very common configuration in many urban areas)?
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  • MomofJandLMomofJandL 1612 replies32 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Just understand that you will be accused of being racist if you stop anyone at all ever.
    Predators know that, and count on being able to guilt you into making an exception for them so you don't seem racist. Also perfectly harmless but thin-skinned people will get actually offended and try to shame you. You can't win them all, so you choose your battles.
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  • momofsenior1momofsenior1 7244 replies56 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I have to say that if someone looks like they are trying to follow me into a building, I will walk by and go past. I do that all the time in my parents building because I know they have had issues with robberies. I'd rather do that than have a confrontation.
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  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus 78219 replies689 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    MomofJandL wrote:
    Just understand that you will be accused of being racist if you stop anyone at all ever.
    Predators know that, and count on being able to guilt you into making an exception for them so you don't seem racist.

    I would still expect a white predator to be more successful at this type of thing than a black predator in most situations, due to the white predator being less likely to be viewed as suspicious by those observers who are racist against black people (who are more common than those who are racist against white people).
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  • MomofJandLMomofJandL 1612 replies32 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited July 11
    I don't wish success for any predator, and would object to tailgating by any one of any color or pronoun choice. Some of those objections will lead to accusations of bigotry, which I object to but can tolerate. (The accusations, that is.)
    edited July 11
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  • stradmomstradmom 5029 replies50 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Having heard the backstory now, I'm changing my initial response to the original video (except that I still feel sorry for the kid). Sort of like when those Covington kids went viral and it turned out that the video had been taken out of context.
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  • HImomHImom 34315 replies391 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited July 11
    I admit I'm a frequent tailgater in secured buildings. I guess I ought to stop and go by the rules but it's SO much easier to just follow another person in. I agree that it's a challenge to stop anyone from tailgating you at times.
    edited July 11
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  • maya54maya54 2136 replies88 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited July 11
    I think that when one tailgates you owe building residents answers to questions such as “ who are you here to visit” and to call that person to come get you ASAP. If you refuse like this guy you deserve the police being summoned for trespassing. I have tailgated but when questioned on a few occasions have answered questions asked.
    edited July 11
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  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus 78219 replies689 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    And when did people become so entitled to tailgate and demand that they are above the rules the rest of us follow?

    Who is "the rest of us" who follows the "no tailgating" rule that hardly anyone seems to follow or enforce?

    When I was in college, the crime rate was much higher than it is now. Yet students living in dorms did not obey or enforce any "no tailgating" rule, and they frequently went against it by propping doors open so that they would not have to wait there to let their friends in. But then they complained when stuff got stolen.

    Unfortunately, the "no tailgating" rule is one of those rules that is rarely obeyed or enforced, much like many traffic rules like speed limits, coming to a complete stop at stop signs, etc.. The fact that "everyone does it" and it is almost never enforced leads people to feel entitled to do it. Not that that is right (it is not), but it will take a lot of strict enforcement everywhere on everyone (as opposed to selective enforcement) to end the sense of entitlement to do this type of thing.
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  • websensationwebsensation 2106 replies39 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    It would be very wrong for the guy to get fired over this incident because he did nothing wrong. I am so glad I cannot be fired from my job due to this kind of incident.
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  • wis75wis75 14051 replies62 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited July 14
    An aside. Around forty years ago my apartment was robbed. As a poor medical student nothing of huge value, but not affordably replaced, was taken- they missed my piggy bank but took my stereo with an 8 track player and Star Wars album, the B&W TV I got when my grandfather died and the ugly colors crocheted throw my mother had made (they used it to wrap other items). The link to this- the elderly landlady of this maybe 8-12 unit building assumed the black guys going up the stairs were friends of the recently moved in black couple.
    edited July 14
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  • Nrdsb4Nrdsb4 16941 replies159 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    A couple of days ago, DH and I pulled into a shopping center so DH could run in and get an item. I stayed in the car and noticed with dismay that the car parked in the row facing our car had a young toddler alone in the car, strapped into his car seat. It was 95 degrees at the time. All four windows were cracked open, but I'm sure it was still very hot. I debated and debated about calling 911. All of a sudden, to my relief, a young woman approached the car and looked in on the child, seemingly checking on his well being. But then she turned around and went back into a restaurant in the shopping center. Having no idea how long this was going to continue, I decided to call 911. I had just fished my phone out of my purse when she came back, got into the car, and drove off.

    I was relieved but also annoyed at myself. The child and young woman were AA and I was hesitating, not wanting to be accused of making this an issue because of their race. I could see myself ending up on Youtube alongside Picnic Becky, Permit Patty, and other infamous racial profilers.

    It's a tricky situation, because racism and racial profiling IS a problem, and I know this causes so much angst for people of color who fear being reported for things simply because they are racial or ethnic minorities. On the other hand, this little guy was potentially in serious danger.
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  • HImomHImom 34315 replies391 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited July 15
    Yikes! I can't imagine ever leaving a child in a car in the hot sun (which is how it generally is in HI). Yes, it's more hassle for the adult to get the kid out and back into the seat, but it's SOOOO much safer! I really have a hard time understanding folks who are willing to put little ones at risk just for the convenience of the adult. It's thoughtless and selfish, IMO.
    edited July 15
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  • roycroftmomroycroftmom 2935 replies38 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    The utter loss of community is one of the saddest consequences of the politically charged environment. People are too scared to intervene, even if they want to, for fear of being unfairly judged or having their motives questioned. When I was a little girl visiting NYC with my mom,I hopped on a subway as the doors closed, leaving my horrified mother behind at the station. I will always remember the entire car seemed to leap to my assistance, getting off at the next station and locating the police. I wonder if they would do that now; rather doubt it.
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  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 12870 replies241 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    the entire car seemed to leap to my assistance, getting off at the next station and locating the police. I wonder if they would do that now; rather doubt it.

    @roycroftmom Why on earth would they not? What's the risk you think they won't take in that situation, a child clearly accidentally left alone by a closing door??
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