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Holiday's with the In-laws
fendergirl
4620 replies159 threads Senior Member
in Parent Cafe
Replies to: Holiday's with the In-laws
I find it helpful to anticipate the things that will likely set me off.
You know, my brain is not surprised by anything that comes out of anyone’s mouth so there is much less internal knee -jerk feeling offended, and it’s more like an internal bingo game.
I also find it helpful to review my goals, immediate & big picture. It helps for work too.
I also like having an escape plan. I had to cut a visit short recently bc it was getting so unpleasant. I was able to get out of there, I think, without anyone being the wiser.
Good luck!
In no particular order, Jack Daniels, turn on football games or Hallmark channel, play games or read books to any kids, poker or scrabble game with any adults you can tolerate, take any dogs in the house on a long walk, take a "turkey coma" nap, help clean-up, take a book and "disappear" for a while, go shopping, organize a pick-up football/dodgeball/kickball game. The key is to stay mobile and not get pinned down. Worst case, throw some water on your face, pretend to vomit and excuse yourself early.
We do have a gender reveal with D's boyfriend's family right after Thanksgiving. I do not look forward to it at all. D and bf aren't getting along very well, his family is a mess and we have nothing in common with them at all!
After Christmas we are taking S17 and his girfriend skiing at Sun Valley. She is wonderful and I'm looking forward to that trip! She would make a nice DIL but we will see! (They have been together 2 1/3 years so far)
Great suggestions here for coping but sometimes, in cases like the above, I think the best thing is to just call them out/talk to them about it in as much as an unemotional voice, Ms. Manners-ish voice as you can muster. Some people need to be told their behavior isn't acceptable.
Yes. This is a great reminder.
I have made some unconventional decisions during my lifetime. Some of the decisions are so very different from those of extended family members.
In a group setting, this can turn into an area of teasing or poking fun at me and it can definitely venture into thinly-veiled derision territory.
I don't like it but I do. not. engage & feed the monster. I've concluded that getting me to react is part of the entertainment and I'm not playing. I've observed it's over pretty quickly if I am able to remain cheerful & unflappable.
YMMV!
"Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family in another city."
- George Burns