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Would you attend?

toledotoledo 4880 replies291 threads Senior Member
edited July 16 in Parent Cafe
A funeral in MN for BIL- Involving a 14 hour drive each way Funeral in at a funeral home (no ability to stream) with lunch following at an indoor restaurant. Guest count may be around 50. We would have to stay in a hotel for two nights.
edited July 16
46 replies
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Replies to: Would you attend?

  • toledotoledo 4880 replies291 threads Senior Member
    A wedding in MN for best friend's D- another 14 hour drive each way. Wedding is outside. Cocktails outside, but dinner and dance inside. Guest count 125. Hotel for two nights.
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  • toledotoledo 4880 replies291 threads Senior Member
    Feel free to post your own situations.
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  • total1096total1096 8 replies2 threads New Member
    The 14 hour drive isn't exciting but if I had an event like that, yes I would go.
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  • SybyllaSybylla 5081 replies60 threads Senior Member
    edited July 16
    No for both, but especially for the wedding 😎
    Really, if you are happy to take these risks, you are not risk averse. There are plenty of you out there, it is really interesting to see what crosses peoples minds. I swear almost everyone thinks this is a thing that only affects other people.
    edited July 16
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  • college_querycollege_query 4465 replies362 threads Senior Member
    I would not attend either event.

    I'm trying to decide if I should go through with or cancel plans for the interment of my parents' cremains in the cemetery of a national park in Arizona. It is scheduled for the second week of August.

    We spent significant time 8 - 9 months ago finding a time that worked for all family members. I had to apply for a special permit with exact date and time.

    I originally arranged for a family luncheon after the burial, but it was canceled last week by the park service.

    Was originally expecting around 32 or so family members, but several are now unable to come. Right now the number is 17.

    Travel requires flying to the location (over 2,000 miles away for me).

    I have the cremains so if I do not attend but my 2 siblings decide to go ahead, I would need a way to get the cremains to them (none of us live near each other). Also, since the permit is in my name, not sure if that's an issue. Plus, I'm in charge of planning and executing the graveside service.

    What would you do? And how far in advance do I need to make the decision?

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  • toledotoledo 4880 replies291 threads Senior Member
    @college_query That's an even tougher situation. Being it is a month away, I would be in contact with the remaining 16 people and ask how they feel about it.
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  • IgloooIglooo 9240 replies227 threads Senior Member
    edited July 16
    I may attend funeral but not the wedding. Travel part doesn't worry me. 50 people indoor luncheon I may manage but not 125 indoor dinner and dance.

    @college_query It is only 16 people. I think one can social distance. And you are the central figure. If it were me, I would go. But I have the impression I take travel risk more readily than anyone else on this board.
    edited July 16
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  • ClassicMom98ClassicMom98 616 replies1 threads Member
    No to both. Even if the events were in town, I would probably decline. I might attend the funeral if I thought my support would help, but skip the lunch. Add 14 hours of driving each way? No, and not because the drive would scare me. It would be the time/effort to place myself in a risky situation. No thanks.
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  • itsgettingreal21itsgettingreal21 343 replies5 threads Member
    No to both. I am risk averse and if more people were, we’d get through this sooner rather than later. As it is, there is no end in sight because so many people are finding reasons to except their actions from the rules and recommendations.
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  • orangepurpleorangepurple 284 replies15 threads Junior Member
    @college_query I would do this one, actually, but scale down the social aspect. No luncheon. Stay outside. Have a luncheon or gathering at some later date if necessary but go ahead with the small group doing the actual interment that was so hard to arrange.

    I would skip the first two that @toledo describes though. Especially a wedding with 125 people dancing indoors.

    Also no to the baby shower. Just send a gift. You are right that the vague intention to be careful is meaningless if 30 people are eating together.
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  • alhalh 8919 replies49 threads Senior Member
    edited July 16
    No.

    Everyone has to do their own risk/benefit analysis.

    I'm staying home unless my kids need me for some reason. No socializing for the foreseeable future.

    Already passed on a couple of family funerals at about the same distance. Sent flowers and heartfelt note.
    edited July 16
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  • anomanderanomander 1886 replies4 threads Senior Member
    No to both for me. You can have a wake and a wedding celebration in a year or 18 months once there's a vaccine or better treatment. available.
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