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Say it here cause you can't say it directly- the get it off your chest thread

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Replies to: Say it here cause you can't say it directly- the get it off your chest thread

  • BookladyBooklady Registered User Posts: 3,122 Senior Member
    doubleplay, wow. What an insensitive thing for a school to do. Last year, when our D graduated from private school, they stopped sending out a list of where each student was going to college, as they had done every year previously. Instead, the list only had college names and the number of kids attending each one. While we were told this was for "privacy reasons", I think the real reason was to minimize the amount of one-upsmanship, gossip, etc. among the parents. I'm glad they made the change.
  • citygirlsmomcitygirlsmom - Posts: 13,158 Senior Member
    its like spring cleaning!!! of the mind and soul

    everyone has these thoughts and people in their lives, and because we have tact, we say nothing, but to vent a bit like this feels gooooooooooood
  • wolfpiperwolfpiper - Posts: 661 Member
    "I really shouldn't have said anything. So please pretend I had tHE common sense to keep my trap shut because I REALLY don't relish having to avoid you for the next three months. Thanks. And no, I don't want your advice, however well-intentioned it may be."
  • corrangedcorranged Registered User Posts: 6,684 Senior Member
    That is so sad, Doubleplay. I went to a small school, and every acceptance for every student was celebrated. Students supported each other for their first choice schools, even if that first choice is a mile below your safety.

    Thumper, there are these two girls who I knew. The whole family was very annoying (and resembled many of these comments!). One of the girls was talking all about how her sister got a "full ride" at a school that only had need-based aid. My friend who was talking to her said something like, "oh, it's great that you got such good financial aid" and the other girl of course replied: "no, she got a full ride." I'd like to tell that girl that she, her brother, and her sister are nothing special. She stole the idea for her project for the state science fair, and by the way, no teenager wants to grow up to be a lobbiest.

    I'd like to tell a certain family member that yes, I realize it's very sad that your grandson probably hasn't reached his full potential, but please don't say that if he had gone to my school he would be just where I am today. I am bright, I get along with people, and I work hard. Your grandson is maladjusted, never worked hard in school (for the short time he was there), and has no aspirations or plans to go anywhere in his life. I'm sorry about that. I really am because there are many things that he could do well. I know that you're very proud of me and brag about me to people, but I hate hearing you go on and on about how this boy is so smart and could have done so well. The fact that he didn't take advantage of his opportunities and make his life go someplace is a much more telling sign of his potential for success than any smarts he may or may not have.
  • MotherOfTwoMotherOfTwo Registered User Posts: 2,110 Senior Member
    To a relative who gave up an excellent professional career when she had kids, and criticized me for working professionally when my kids were young, saying that she and her husband would never put their kids in daycare. After staying home for 12 years, she could only find a very low paying job and whines at me that my kids have had "every advantage" educationally, while her family cannot afford the same opportunities for theirs.
  • lamomlamom Registered User Posts: 1,323 Senior Member
    I just tell myself-when you feel you have to compete or tell someone how much better you are-you've lost. I don't say anything, why should I? They lost at their own game.
  • cheerscheers Registered User Posts: 5,163 Senior Member
    Amen, Mof2, amen. To all: thanks for the patronizing lectures on 'spoiling' my children. I'm glad you are all so charmed by my boys. Turns out, there was method in my actions.

    Also, (warning: pet peeve to follow), while I appreciate your lectures and your disdain, I have a laugh when you leave the room. Your 'holier-than-thou' righteousness is hilariously hypocritical.
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 63,859 Senior Member
    MotherOfTwo...yours made me think of another one...to the relative who was too poor to exchange Christmas presents. "If money is so tight, why aren't both of you working?" (btw...both kids were in college...).
  • parabellaparabella Registered User Posts: 533 Member
    How could you give a "sportsmanship" award to the racist, homophobic, generally bigoted and disliked by a majority of his teammates senior, suspended for most of his last soccer season because of drinking and academic probation? I don't care that the football team won the state championship and he was one of the star players, you could have found a better candidate.
  • MotherOfTwoMotherOfTwo Registered User Posts: 2,110 Senior Member
    This happened a while ago, but - "To the ignorant teachers and administrators at our high school who did not bother to find out how to pronounce the students' names they read at graduation or the senior awards ceremony. None of the names are at all terribly difficult, and it must be humiliating for a parent from a non-Western country (e.g. India) whose name is easily pronounced just by reading the syllables phonetically to hear their name garbled as if it were written in hieroglyphics or something while their kid is being recognized for his achievements. Oh yes, I also must add that they must not read CC, because they also mispronounce the names of well known colleges. For example Middlebury became Middleberg, etc."
  • mardadmardad Registered User Posts: 1,120 Senior Member
    To a relative: "I know that in your heart-of-hearts you believe my wife and I are incompetent parents, as are all of your siblings, and our children as well as the chilidren of your siblings are just waiting for their parents' incompetence to be exposed so that you can step in and rescue them, but please don't keep telling us about what good parents anyone who is not related to you are. The children of your siblings are in college, graduate school and medical school and we don't want to make them insecure. And No! I will not carry that bulky graduation gift across a large field at commencement to the child of someone you know only socially when you could drop it off at his house. I don't want to carry it. He doesn't want to cart it around. I know you want him to remember you, but this is not the way to do it. Praise your relatives and quit trying to buy the favor of outsiders."
  • MarianMarian Registered User Posts: 12,548 Senior Member
    To the ignorant teachers and administrators at our high school who did not bother to find out how to pronounce the students' names they read at graduation or the senior awards ceremony. None of the names are at all terribly difficult, and it must be humiliating for a parent from a non-Western country (e.g. India) whose name is easily pronounced just by reading the syllables phonetically to hear their name garbled as if it were written in hieroglyphics or something while their kid is being recognized for his achievements.

    This happened to my daughter at the elementary school awards program, and she has an ordinary German/Jewish last name. She was called up multiple times, and the principal mispronounced her name every time. It got to the point where the entire fifth grade was calling out the correct pronunciation every time the principal got it wrong.
  • MotherOfTwoMotherOfTwo Registered User Posts: 2,110 Senior Member
    A similar thing actually happened to my daughter at the senior awards ceremony for 12th grade, but I didn't include it in my gripe above. The assistant principal first recognized her by announcing the name of another girl with the same last name who graduated three years earlier. She was a terrible student and her brother had been arrested for vandalizing our school. Then, when the other kids called out my daughter's name to correct him, he messed it up (similar to saying "Christa" instead of "Christine"). Then, realizing he was still messed up, he said, "Let's just call her 'C. Smith' !" (This is not her real name, but you get the idea.) The administrator announcing the next group of awards was so horrified that he made a point of recognizing my daughter using her correct name and making her stand up again. She took a lot of teasing from her friends and parents of her friends for that one!
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