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Living at home after graduating college....

Whatsnext?Whatsnext? Registered User Posts: 28 New Member
edited April 2011 in Parent Cafe
My daughter graduated college in May and has been living back at home. She is not very happy about it but knows she has no option. She has found a job and will be applying to grad school for the fall. Hopefully after a year she will have some money saved up to live on her own. All of her high school friends are back at home. One of her college friends is living in NYC yet the father is paying her way. Her friend doesn't even have a job yet. (I don't quite understand this situation...).
How do many kids afford to live on their own right after college? Does anyone have kids or have had kids in same situation that could offer suggestions?
Post edited by Whatsnext? on
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Replies to: Living at home after graduating college....

  • JustAMomOf4JustAMomOf4 Registered User Posts: 4,563 Senior Member
    I confess. My 2005 college grad is living at home. She did live on her own for a year in a large east coast city. She just could not find a job where she could earn enough to make rent - even with roommates.

    She does have a permanent full time job with health insurance now, but still has car payments for a crappy car and student loans. I do not feel sorry for her. After I graduated, I moved back home for 30 days - I moved out and never went back. I didn't have it easy, but there was no way I was going to swallow my pride and move back home.
    It's different these days - as a parent, I admit there are advantages, as well as disadvantages. One advantage is I get to know her as an adult. We have a good relationship and actually *like* each other.
    On the other hand - her parents are enabling her and she does take advantage of us.

    Many of her high school friends are in the same boat. Either they moved back home or their parents are helping them make rent somewhere else.
  • jessiehljessiehl Registered User Posts: 3,328 Senior Member
    2007 grad here. I live away from my parents and self-supporting (in a high-cost-of-living metropolis), and have since I moved out of my college dorm. I don't think I know anyone among my friends who moved back in with their parents after they graduated, and other than parents possibly helping with the initial security deposits and the like, I don't think I know anyone being financially supported by their parents post-graduation.

    Edited to add: I don't mean for this to sound boastful or snobby, and re-reading it, I worry that it might come off that way. It's just the reality for myself and my social group.
  • BCEagle91BCEagle91 Registered User Posts: 22,762 Senior Member
    Roommates. We have four recent college hires. Three live in apartments with people they went to school with. The other lives in an apartment with a friend - I assume that they went to school together also.
  • aibarraibarr Registered User Posts: 4,249 Senior Member
    Engineering makes things significantly easier.

    I had financial help from my folks through grad school and managed to not deplete the couple of thousand in savings I'd accrued during the several tutoring and grading and internship jobs I'd had during undergrad. My company's signing bonus helped get me to my high-cost metropolis and pay any deposits I needed to pay.

    My husband the musician has lived on his own, though, since college. He's been in grad school ever since he graduated, but he's held teaching jobs in various places to supplement his stipends. Now, he's about to start a tenure-track position at a small college. (He does admit that he'd be in some financial difficulties had he not met and married an engineer, though!)
  • jessiehljessiehl Registered User Posts: 3,328 Senior Member
    Roommates.

    Second this. I think I only know two people (the two halves of a married couple) in my social group who are under the age of 30 and live with no roommates. And one half of that married couple is the founder of a successful startup.

    Living without roommates is a luxury, and not one that I think people my age should expect to be able to afford.
  • beck86njbeck86nj Registered User Posts: 805 Member
    My fiance and I (2008 grads) live with a roommate in a high cost of living area and support ourselves with his salary and benefits and my stipend. But all three of us in the house are engineers, which helps.
  • Singersmom07Singersmom07 Registered User Posts: 4,152 Senior Member
    3 boomerangs here. The oldest now 27 came back twice but is well on his own now for the past couple fo years. The second came home once but did not like our rules like paying rent and moved in with GF's parents. They now live out west with support from GF parents still. Third is home and not happy but is having a hard time finding a job that is more than part time. His friends are in the same boat even 3iwth full time jobs and none of them have enough to even share an apt with the costs around here. He does take advantage of us I think but we also benefit form having a dog sitter living with us when we want to travel. :)
  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 Registered User Posts: 35,861 Senior Member
    My older D has lived with friends since graduating. In college she mostly lived by herself, only had a roommate senior year, now she has the opportunity to live in a nicer & larger house than the one she grew up in- she even has her own bathroom.

    I think roommates are a great choice- they are friends from college and are more like family than just people she shares the rent with.
  • somemomsomemom Registered User Posts: 11,093 Senior Member
    oldest DD came home between UG & Grad school, but used the time to reconnect having been away at school for four years and to take some classes she needed for grad school as well as do some research at a local uni to make sure grad school was right for her. She worked and saved money so she had a deposit etc for her apt and has been living in a tiny studio for grad school; it was the right thing to do for the transition.

    Current senior in UG is looking at options for next year and planning to be on her own...fingers crossed
  • SlitheyToveSlitheyTove Registered User Posts: 6,348 Senior Member
    Surely I'm not the only parent who ended up living back home for a bit post college?

    Back in the 80's, I finished college and started a (well-paying, for those days) job the week after graduation with literally $5 to my name. Work was a half-hour drive from my parents' house; they staked me to a used car, and I paid some token amount of rent (at my insistence). I'd planned on spending just a few months back home, enough time to accumulate first/last/security deposit. That stretched a tad longer because I got engaged, and there was no point in moving out prior to the wedding. Different era; nowadays, I'd have just moved in with my fiance.

    If I'd stayed in the same area as where I went to school, it would have been easier to find roommates, but I'd have needed a parental or other loan in order to get started. Or maybe I'd have just crashed on a friend's floor for a week, then rotated to another friend, until I'd saved up enough for renting. When you're in school, the financial aid check or loan arrives at the start of the year and gives you some money to work with at the start of the term. In real life, unless you get a signing bonus, it's a different story.
  • croniecronie Registered User Posts: 682 Senior Member
    My daughter, a 2007 graduate, is living on the other side of the country in an apartment with three roomates. She is taking a year off from grad school, which she started right after college. Needing more time to decide if grad school is the right choice for her, she is working 4 part-time jobs this year to pay the rent and living expenses, but the money she made over the summer while living at home is what enabled her to get started with the rent deposit and gave her time to look for jobs. Two of her jobs are at the university where she was a graduate student, and two of them were things she found on Craigslist. She somehow has managed to make it work. I think that the fact that public transportation is so good in her city enabled her to manage, since she has no need for a car and the expenses that go with that. Also, living in a college town, it's easier to find compatible roomates.
    H and I are flying out next week to see her apartment for the first time, and to visit, as we won't be seeing her again until Christmas. We're eager to see her place and her new life!
  • keepmesanekeepmesane Registered User Posts: 224 Junior Member
    SlitheyTove, you make a lot of good points. So many variables that it seems to me this makes it a case by case choice, even among siblings. Different times and different economic situations make for different choices.

    My sister's family covered all but "spending and travel" money for their kids so their kids were loan free and graduation present was inexpensive new car or more expensive used car. They were able to keep kids on their medical insurance for six months. Kiddos graduated 3-6 years ago when the economy was strong and growing and the job market was hot in their area. Also, their children attended college within three hours of home with lots of friends from high school and college staying in the area or returning to the home city after college so finding roomates or friends to crash with wasn't that difficult. For them, 3-4 months after graduation, they expected kids to take off on their own because they had given them so much help during college and they were going into the workforce with no debts and a reliable car!

    We were not able to do the same things during the college years and our kids will be graduating in a much tougher economic climate. That means they will not have a car or necessarily be loan free. Jobs are out there but it is definately getting tougher and the competition much keener. Also, my kids are cross country for school so if they return to the home state, they will have a much tougher time finding roomates initially. I have no problem with my kids staying a year with me as long as they are productive. This would allow them to start paying off loans, save for a car, down payments on apts, find roomates they were compatible with. Also, as long as they are living with us to age 24, I can keep them on our insurance even if they are not a student and this is important to us. Kind of evens them up with those kids whose families were able to provide them with much more during college.

    If no job found quickly, I would expect them to help with the large number of house repair jobs that we have postponed, take care of the animals, take grandma shopping, do the yard work, etc. That would actually be very beneficial to us and save us some money.

    I think as the current financial and economic crisis plays out, you will see more and more families with blended housing and support situations. Grandparents on fixed incomes may be forced to live with their kids when they have to choose between food or medicine, adults who loose their jobs and medical insurance may be required to temporarily move their families in with their parents, recent graduates who expected to move up the corporate ladder may find that company downsizing has them stuck in entry level jobs and may have to move home to save money. Flexibility will be the key over the next couple of years.
  • tango14tango14 Registered User Posts: 1,578 Senior Member
    S1 graduated in Dec. 05. He lived at home to go to school and is still home, although working full time and paying his own bills. We feed him some of the time and would never ask him to pay rent, unless we felt he was loafing. He took a semester off and just worked after graduating, but could not really decide what to do. He did 1 sem. grad work at the local univ. and went away for a semester, but has decided grad school is not for him.

    He is very anxious to get out, but we have talked him out of it until he is employed full time, urging him instead to save as much as he can. He is angling for a manager position at the restaurant he works at, and we're very hopeful he will get it. He really enjoys working there and the GM likes him and seems to rely on him.

    It certainly made S2's departure last month easier to bear.
  • mominvamominva Registered User Posts: 3,013 Senior Member
    Our two college grads live here with us. They pay a modest rent and are expected to contribute to savings due to this rent break.
    Our area is full of young folks starting out with roommates in condos, apartments and houses. Our kids have a better financial arrangement here. We all treat each other as adult roommates and we have the benefit of someone to look after the place if we go out of town.
  • LongPrimeLongPrime - Posts: 5,208 Senior Member
    DS is at home and catching up on sleep that he lost in the last year. Happy to have him home and will have him for 6 weeks, which is the longest period in 6 years.

    He has dual technical bachelors and masters. Great shortterm internships and recommendations from everybody...but there is a hiring freeze and a potential worldwide recession. His options: locate a position by Jan 2009, go to Germany as a shortterm RA with his last mentor, go for phD on the recommendations of his mentors.

    Fortunately he has saved a lot of money on his internships so he has options.
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