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What age is it weird to live with your parents?

TA3021TA3021 Registered User Posts: 789 Member
edited December 2009 in Parent Cafe
What age is a child supposed to live on their own? We all know that at 18 years old, a parent no longer has to bear any responsibility to a child, but at what age does it come unacceptable or weird to live with one's parents? I am talking about situations where one is not taking care of a sick or elderly parent.
How long would you let your child live in your house? At what age do most people start to live on their own?
Post edited by TA3021 on

Replies to: What age is it weird to live with your parents?

  • lje62lje62 Registered User Posts: 5,551 Senior Member
    I don't think there is really an answer to that question , particularly in the times we are living in currently . Many adult children are living with their parents for a lot of different reasons, I am guessing economic being number 1. I know a few and don't think anything odd about it at all. I personally wouldn't , mind it at all ( though I know it won't happen )
    Though I can think of one person who comes to mind as being a pain in the neck and not doing anything productive with his life and sponging off his mother and step-father. He is 25 and lives at home , might have a part time job , but usually quits or gets fired. Doesn't lift a finger to even bring in the garbage cans or mail..that would drive me up the wall.
  • VeryHappyVeryHappy Registered User Posts: 16,762 Senior Member
    My brother-in-law lived with his mother until he was 33 and she went to a nursing home. He never took any responsibility for himself and continued living with her as if he were a child.

    He had Issues.
  • cnp55cnp55 Registered User Posts: 3,707 Senior Member
    My husband lived with his parents after graduate school (age 24) until we married at nearly 30. He worked full time and made a good income, contributed to the household in terms of chores, errands, and responsibilities, saved his pennies. He considered other housing options but never felt the need to make a move. He looked at condos and other housing investments but never saw anything that made sense to him. He did have a boat in a nearby marina he could sleep on in the summer.

    His father wanted to put an addition onto their house for us to live in as newlyweds -- but I threatened to break the engagement if that was the plan!
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 21,014 Senior Member
    If finance is not an issue, once a kid is out of college he/she should get his/her own place. As much as I like my daughters' company, I think I would be doing a disservice in having them live at home when they are adults. It was an adjustment for D1 at first in going off to college even though she didn't have to worry about room and board, she still had to do a lot of things I used do for her. By having her own place, paying for her own bills, and not having us as her safety net all the time would be the final step in her becoming an adult. I think I would ask her to think twice about dating a guy who is still living at home after college.
  • AnudduhMomAnudduhMom Registered User Posts: 783 Member
    It really depends, TA. In your case, the sooner the better.

    In some countries it is weird to kick your kids out. Many generations live in close proximity, in compounds or in the same house. I think that's lovely and healthy, as long as it contributes to each individual's strength and is a force for good.

    I wish my kids would live with me forever (I would live in their basement, lol). There is nobody whose company I enjoy more. Alas, they have their own dreams!
  • rocketman08rocketman08 Registered User Posts: 1,194 Senior Member
    It depends on the details really. Personally I'd think a 21 year old who didn't go to college living in their parent's basement playing video games all day is a lot 'weirder' than a 28 year old who went to grad school and is just getting started with their career .
  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 Registered User Posts: 35,861 Senior Member
    In the above situation I would wonder if the 21 year old had stuff they were trying to work through whereas the 28 year old at seven years older and ten years out of high school had other things going on to make independent living arrangements too intimidating.
    If you can't make enough money to pay rent when you have gone for a grad degree and don't have the resources to find roommates to share expenses when you are heading towards thirty yrs old, what would it take for you to be motivated enough to do so ?
    Education isn't just about academics
  • emgamacemgamac Registered User Posts: 309 Member
    Our oldest D is 23 and still lives at home. She has a full time job that she loves and has been planning to move out for awhile. She was going to move out around the same time younger D went off to school but the two girls got together and decided she should wait to see how H and I took the semi-empty nest. I have to be honest, if they both left at the same time I might actually freak out. D has been looking at places and will be out by March. I will be sad to see her go but it's time.
  • MarianMarian Registered User Posts: 12,526 Senior Member
    Well, think about the possibility that if you never move out of your parents' home (or if you move back in at some point in your adulthood), eventually it isn't you living with them, it's them living with you.

    When my parents got divorced, my father -- then in his early 40s -- moved in with his mother. It was a convenient arrangement; if he needed to go out when his then-young children were visiting him on the weekends, she could babysit. But some years later, when her health deteriorated, he found himself being increasingly responsible for his mother's needs. So there was a definite downside to the living arrangement.

    Of course, when older people's health deteriorates in any family, some responsibility falls on the younger generation. But if one member of that generation is sharing a home with the older person, that one often seems to end up with the bulk of the responsibility, simply because of proximity.
  • NJresNJres Registered User Posts: 5,868 Senior Member
    I really don't want to think about this.... 41 ?
  • Columbia_StudentColumbia_Student Registered User Posts: 5,046 Senior Member
    For my husband's family, after 18. His parent sold his childhood home and moved overseas so he has no place to come back for Christmas. For me after graduation, around the age of 22-25. I think it's really weird if somebody still lives with their family in their 40s.
  • splash79splash79 Registered User Posts: 57 Junior Member
    Honestly, I think that adult children should move out after college, if not before, unless there are extenuating circumstances. When I was in my mid-20s, I moved back in with my mom while I looked for an apartment in a nearby city, but that was only for a month or so and not a long term arrangement. And I've had friends who have done the same after a divorce or job loss, but none of them stayed long term.
  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 Registered User Posts: 35,861 Senior Member
    my husbands uncles, two of them, lived with their mother until her death into her 80's, and they still live in the same house.
    As far as I know, they aren't mentally incapacitated, they have been working until their retirement, but reminds me of Keillors Norwegian bachelor farmers.
  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 Registered User Posts: 35,861 Senior Member
    I moved out when I was 17, I moved back in for a few months when I was almost 19.
    H moved out when he was 21 and we moved in together ( lived together for almost four years before we decided to get married)

    Older D never did consider herself to be living here after a few years in college- she would stay much of the summer off campus working on projects.
    I don't know what younger D will do, since she is a world traveler type, she may just use us as a home base for a while despite herself.
  • rocketman08rocketman08 Registered User Posts: 1,194 Senior Member
    Obviously specific details are important in every case and the main point is that there is no 'magic age' where is suddenly becomes 'weird.'
This discussion has been closed.