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Is it possible for a mother to HATE her own children?

eastafrobeautyeastafrobeauty Registered User Posts: 2,430 Senior Member
edited May 2011 in Parent Cafe

Since it's mother's day...I was just wondering if it's possible for a person's mom to hate her child/children so much to the point that, say...if they passed away right this moment they wouldn't even feel any remorse/sorrow/shed a single tear?

haha, i know this is a bit odd posting this...but i was bored...lol.
Post edited by eastafrobeauty on

Replies to: Is it possible for a mother to HATE her own children?

  • poetsheartpoetsheart Registered User Posts: 5,479 Senior Member
    Thankfully, I think there are relatively few women who feel that way, which is why stories like the Susan Smith incident are so disturbing. I seriously doubt there are any "CC moms" who hate their children. We are probably all pretty emotionally invested in our kids, which is why angst and fierce love drove us to this site in the first place:).
  • sybbie719sybbie719 Super Moderator Posts: 20,824 Super Moderator
    ...I was just wondering if it's possible for a person's mom to hate her child/children so much to the point that, say...if they passed away right this moment they wouldn't even feel any remorse/sorrow/shed a single tear?

    I think this scenario rarely happens. Even if mothers hate everything their child has ever done, there was once a moment that they did love the cild and that is what will be reflected upon when something hapens to the child. You can hate the sin and still love the sinner.
  • Nrdsb4Nrdsb4 Registered User Posts: 14,783 Senior Member
    ^^^^And vice versa. Children will often still express love for a parent who is highly undeserving. During the murder trial of her mother, Diane Downs, her surviving daughter described to a horrified courtroom how her mother shot her and her siblings one evening during an evening car ride (so that she could pursue a relationship with a man who had also said he didn't want any children). She actually acted it out for the jury. When she was finished, the prosecutor asked the child if she loved her mother. The child teared up, nodded her head, and said "yes."
  • HannaHanna Registered User Posts: 14,207 Senior Member
    Yes, it's possible.

    Work in social services for a while. You'll see it.
  • DonnaLDonnaL Registered User Posts: 4,981 Senior Member
    OP, I'm just curious -- is there anything personal about this post? Are you afraid that your mother hates you?
  • mom2collegekidsmom2collegekids Registered User Posts: 82,540 Senior Member
    I would think a mother would have to have something seriously wrong with her to hate her children. I can't imagine not loving my kids.
  • Puzzled88Puzzled88 Registered User Posts: 1,120 Senior Member
    The times I am the most furious at my kids are when they do things to endanger themselves. So I can certainly hate their behavior but only because I love them so ferociously. I agree with mom2collegekids.
  • beawinnerbeawinner Registered User Posts: 272 Junior Member
    Hanna, completely agree with your post. Social services is where you see most of the ugliness we don't usually see and dysfunctional humans are at the top of the list.
  • SDMom56SDMom56 Registered User Posts: 89 Junior Member
    Have you seen the Mom Song?

    YouTube - The Mom Song with lyrics

    I think it is normal for your kids to make you want them to leave the nest and go out on their own. I love my sons, but when my older one comes home from college, he stays out late, stays up late and is messy. Even though he will be 21 next month, I am stilll a worry wart, so I can't sleep until he is home. So, I do not get any sleep. On the bright side, he does my errands for me and loves to cook.

    He always has drama in his life too.
  • BowyerBowyer Registered User Posts: 1 New Member
    My mother hates all six of her children, that are the children of my father. The other 2 are blessed by god. She never killed any of us, but she pushed the youngest to suicide. I am 50 years old and can never remember her telling any of us that she loved us, Never. She mentally abused us with her hatred. One of her 2 older daughters says she has the right to cut us out of her will because of my father. How sick is that? The money means nothing to me, its just the fact that she would do that to us, Hurts.
  • ellebudellebud Registered User Posts: 2,328 Senior Member
    Yes it is possible. I grew up with someone who's mother professed that she loved her daughter, but threw her under the proverbial bus when she could. She (the mother) is a grandmother and great grandmother. Hasn't seen the grandson since he was born...didn't go to the wedding...didn't acknowledge her great grandchild. Missed the wedding...something about a laser hair removal appointment.
  • ShrinkrapShrinkrap Registered User Posts: 11,788 Senior Member
    Evidence of the reverse is much more common.

    On the news the otter day a stroller slipped sway from a mom, tumbled down a hill and into some water.

    The mom ran down the hill, broke her leg.... and kept running!

    Baby's dad stood at the top of the hill.
  • lje62lje62 Registered User Posts: 5,551 Senior Member
    I can't say I've ever encountered a mother who hates their children , but I have met more than my share of mothers who should not have had children
  • merlinmerlin Registered User Posts: 283 Junior Member
    Hating one's own child can be the result of resentment. Resentment that happens when the child interferes with the mother's own (perceived) needs being met. Likely the mother did not have a good relationship/attachment with her own mother.
    It is very sad. Kids whose mothers or fathers are unable to love them usually blame themselves.
    Yes, I work in social services.
  • HImomHImom Registered User Posts: 29,505 Senior Member
    In the court system and courtrooms and even the education system, unfortunately, you see a lot of very heart-rending cases of parent(s)/families who are dysfunctional and the profound and far-reaching results that can happen. There is a high burnout rate of folks who try to serve/work with these people.
This discussion has been closed.