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Driving friends with a permit

ShanghaiMomShanghaiMom Registered User Posts: 480 Member
edited August 2010 in Parent Cafe
Opinions needed
My d just told me that when she goes somewhere with one of her friends the mom allows her daughter to practice driving - the mom sits in the front and the friend just got her permit. My d and the other friends ride in the back.
I was a bit surprised to hear this because I would never even think to let my d drive with others in the car before she passed her test - I even checked the guide book because I thought it may not be legal but I couldnt find anything about it. My husband and my d think I'm over reacting. Am I? Before I talk to the friend's parents I need some perspective.......
Post edited by ShanghaiMom on

Replies to: Driving friends with a permit

  • coolweathercoolweather Registered User Posts: 5,439 Senior Member
    You need to look at the law of your state first. It's illegal in California. I would not allow my kids to ride with that friend again.
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 21,030 Senior Member
    Few years back when we were doing carpooling with another family, the mother told us that her son would be doing the driving with her sitting next to him. She ASKED us if we were ok with it. She said it was important for her son to do as much driving as possible before he got his license and she would understand if we didn't feel comfortable with it. We opted out of the carpool.

    I never let anyone with just a permit to drive my kids around, not even kids with only a year or two license. I have specifically asked parents not to let their older teenage to drive my kids when they were over their house. Likewise, I never let D1 drive D2's friends without their parents permission.
  • dragonmomdragonmom Registered User Posts: 5,644 Senior Member
    We ran in to that with our kids. Parents thought it was a perfectly fine way for their kids to get experience. It got a bit awkward at times because our family rule was concrete: no riding with a driver with less than 6 months license experience. I felt bad, but when you look at it as "No, your inexperienced driver may not use my child as a Guinea Pig even with you in the other seat" then you see it differently. It doesn't matter if Mom is in the front seat - she doesn't have the brakes and steering wheel.
    Stick to your guns.
  • notasophistamorenotasophistamore Registered User Posts: 182 Junior Member
    Its not illegal in CA
    whats illegal is once the kids has a license, then they cannot drive around friends without a parent

    around here its common courtesy to ask a parent before having a kid w/ a permit drive them but as always some people don't follow/know
  • teriwttteriwtt Super Moderator Posts: 12,525 Super Moderator
    I guess I'm a little bit more trusting (and trustful).

    Several years ago when D1 and one of her good friends were 15, we flew down to Houston to see my mom (who was not quite a year widowed) and drive her out to Ruidoso, New Mexico where my aunt had a vacation house. I think between Roswell and San Antonio, going each way, each girl got in about five hours each driving, with me in the front seat. At the time, our kids were required to get at least 25 hours of driving time with a licensed adult (other than their instructor), but now I think it's 50. Of course my mom's car was a big boat and we'd go miles without seeing another car, but the speed limit was 80. I think the other girls' parents (who we know very well and have known since the girls were in kindergarten) were just grateful that I took care of at least five hours of her required time, which lessened the time they had spend behind the wheel with her (they have five kids).
  • coolweathercoolweather Registered User Posts: 5,439 Senior Member
    " I think the other girls' parents (who we know very well and have known since the girls were in kindergarten) were just grateful that I took care of at least five hours of her required time, which lessened the time they had spend behind the wheel with her (they have five kids)."

    Texas law only allows maximum 1 hour of training credit per day (total 20 hours). California 2 hours (total 50 hours).
  • rodneyrodney Registered User Posts: 9,406 Senior Member
    I think the issue here is that there should be consent from the parents; we ran into this situation on both sides: and I am talking about a state where it is legal to drive another person with a parent in the car at the permit stage.....

    My daughter was in a carpool where they didn't ask my permission for the other student to drive with the permit...that annoyed me and I didn't think it was appropriate so I called the parent on it and we discussed under what conditions it would be ok...

    When my daughter got her permit and we were in another carpool, I knew that our carpool partner would never allow her daughter to drive with my daughter driving so I didn't ask and we never had her drive with the carpool; she earned her experience elsewhere....

    as with many situations, it's all about communication.......
  • Youdon'tsayYoudon'tsay Registered User Posts: 19,053 Senior Member
    Interesting, coolweather, as I know kids who've double up on hours at the driving school if there was a cancellation and they already were there when the next set went out.

    For me, it would depend on the kid/car/parent/street/traffic conditions. My personal rule for the boys was/is (I have a 15yo in driver's ed right now) that I'm not taking you on a type of road that you haven't yet driven with an instructor (who has the extra set of brakes) So, no large thoroughfares with me until you have been on one with the instructor. No highways with me until you have been on one with the instructor. I really can't imagine any of my friends letting their kids take mine on the open road with no experience in that situation. I trust my friends to make good judgements.

    That said, I wouldn't let MY kid drive someone else's kid when all he had was his permit. If something went wrong, I couldn't live with the guilt. I hated when ds1 started driving other kids around, even though he had his license and is a safe driver who, by nature, isn't a risk taker.
  • fishymomfishymom Registered User Posts: 1,849 Senior Member
    My kids are 6 years apart in age and I never even let my older drive with his sister in the car until he had had his full license for six months. We had the six months rule for both kids, they couldn't drive anyone nor be driven by anyone who had not had their full license for 6 months. They were not allowed to drive with more than one occupant until one full year. I'm not aware of what the law is in our state, but that is Mom's Law!
  • IgloooIglooo Registered User Posts: 7,252 Senior Member
    I think it depends. If the road doesn't have many intersections or traffic and the ride short, it can be allowed once in a while. Kids liked to show off to each other after they learn to control the vehicle.
  • Nrdsb4Nrdsb4 Registered User Posts: 14,810 Senior Member
    When I was a teen, I was very often a passenger of a student driver with Mom in the front seat. It seemed like absolutely no big deal.

    One time when D2 had her permit, I allowed her to drive part of the way to our lake house-it was on a deserted rural highway-with a friend of hers in the back seat. I had thought nothing of it. Later that evening, however, I thought "what in the world was I thinking?" I don't know that I would want my D to be a passenger in a car driven by a student driver, and I would appreciate at least being asked.

    We never did that again!
  • collegeshoppingcollegeshopping Registered User Posts: 1,935 Senior Member
    At our D's school and the driver's ed classes that are taught via the school system, the kids are 3 learners per instructor. So for us, it is "normal" for a permited teen to drive while an instructer sits shotgun with two students in back. And these are not easy roads my friends, we are talking major highways, interchanges, etc. I guess for us it would depend on the driver and parent. Because they learned in a group, continuing education in a group seems the norm.
  • Feb158Feb158 Registered User Posts: 77 Junior Member
    Our rule is no driving any friends while under a learner's permit (15 years old) and not with a license (16 years old) for the first 6 months. The rule applies to them riding with friends also. Breaking the rules results in no driving until 18. Any ticket results in same consequence. If they need/want to go with friends I drive them.
  • alwaysamomalwaysamom Registered User Posts: 11,522 Senior Member
    My girls are long past the learning to drive stage but I would never have wanted any of them to be driving with a new driver. I don't care if the mother is in the front seat or not. What could she possibly do if there was a problem?! I think it's irresponsible of any parent to do this without consulting with the friend's parent, and I can't imagine myself ever agreeing to it. Nor would I have done it with one of my Ds driving when friends were along. These are new drivers we're talking about here. Ask yourself if you'd feel comfortable sitting in the backseat with a new driver at the wheel. I wouldn't. I was nervous with my own kids early driving! Maybe it's the years I worked in an insurance company's claims department while in grad school that influences me on all issues driving related, but no, I would never have allowed it, nor done it myself.
  • mikasauntiemikasauntie Registered User Posts: 154 Junior Member
    S is 20 and I still make sure parents know he's driving if my pre-driver D's friends are looking for a ride.

    As for letting my child with a learner's permit drive other peoples' kids? No way! I couldn't stand the guilt I would feel if something ever happened. Letting someone else's learner drive mine would not be something I'd be happy with...particularly if I were not asked first.
This discussion has been closed.