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Has anyone called admissions to have their kid rejected?

oneeyedfinchoneeyedfinch Registered User Posts: 17 New Member
edited November 2012 in Parents Forum
My son applied to the university of Miami just to party. He doesn't even like hot weather or the beach. He just heard the girls go to class in bikinis. He has the grades and scores to get in and he applied EA, but I only sent his worse ACT score.
Has anyone heard of a parent calling admissions and begging them to reject their kid. I know that this school is not the right fit for him and he's already been accepted to a school where I think he and we would be happy for him to attend.

I can't be the only parent who has experienced this and I'm hoping to hear that a call is ok.
Post edited by oneeyedfinch on

Replies to: Has anyone called admissions to have their kid rejected?

  • ClutchEngineerClutchEngineer Registered User Posts: 123 Junior Member
    Let him make his own decisions. It sounds like you are trying to use CC to justify your helicopter parenting decisions.
  • kelsmomkelsmom Super Moderator Posts: 14,520 Super Moderator
    Seriously????? If you are actually serious, may I suggest to you that you man up (or woman up) and parent the kid yourself, instead of expecting someone else to do the dirty work for you. If you don't want to pay for Miami, then tell the kid you won't pay for Miami.
  • kelsmomkelsmom Super Moderator Posts: 14,520 Super Moderator
    Re-read the original post, and there is so much more to address than just the "I don't want him to go there" part. Please stop trying to orchestrate your kid's life.
  • NJresNJres Registered User Posts: 5,868 Senior Member
    You would be the first.
  • GladGradDadGladGradDad Registered User Posts: 2,818 Senior Member
    **** alert

    The OP must work fast at having a family because the OP wrote the following in 2010 -
    I was accepted ED this past November...
  • quilllquilll Registered User Posts: 371 Member
    Nice catch gladgraddad--one eyed finch, figure out who you are.
  • oneeyedfinchoneeyedfinch Registered User Posts: 17 New Member
    I'm actually not a **** but a parent. My daughter who is now a college junior used this acct when she was going thru this process. Kelsmom I did tell my son that I won't pay for miami but he still applied. My husband and I worked very hard to earn and save his tuition money (we will be full pay...no fin aid) and I don't want to pay for a 4 year party.
  • HImomHImom Registered User Posts: 29,487 Senior Member
    If you don't trust your kid (or even if you do), you can do what some other parents have done and write out a contract with your kiddo. You will only LOAN $_____ toward each term of his school. In return, he must earn ____ credits toward his degree and get at least a GPA of ____. If he fulfills his end of the deal, you will forgive his loan each term until he graduates (or whatever terms you want).

    Kids CAN attend schools with gorgeous classmates, even schools known as party schools and still get great grades and degrees.

    FWIW, I did go to our credit union and convinced them NOT to give us a mortgage loan (we couldn't afford it). It was an odd situation, as they REALLY wanted to give us the loan and I kept telling them there was no way we could make the monthly payments. The finally agreed to decline to give us the mortgage & this was decades BEFORE the toxic mortgage crisis. That was the closest I came to asking NOT to get what we applied for. We later found a realtor who did what we wanted and needed, bought the house we are still living in today with a mortgage from the credit union (after selling some assets with equity but negative cash flow). ;)
  • GladGradDadGladGradDad Registered User Posts: 2,818 Senior Member
    OP: Just get your own CC account if you don't want to appear as a ****. It's easy to get one.

    On top of the appearance of being a **** because of using someone else's account, your question is an odd one to come from an actual parent (which is why you appeared to be a **** to me in the first place). Of course you shouldn't undermine your own kid in this way. If I was on the receiving end of a parent calling for this purpose I'd redirect you to talk to your kid. If you do this (even though I doubt the college will take any action as a result of your call) you're just putting another wedge in any kind of trust relationship you might have with the kid.

    If the son can somehow pay for college himself then he s/b able to go where he wants. If you're paying for it and refuse to consider this college for whatever reason simply tell him you won't pay for it and he won't be able to go but at least you'll be up front with him and not trying sneak behind his back to sabotage him.

    Then there's the other approach - you might want to consider that possibly not every student who goes to that college is a 'partier' exclusively and that some of them might actually get an education. Good luck finding a college where he can't party if that's his goal.
  • cormom15cormom15 Registered User Posts: 354 Member
    If he earned the admission, you should not sabotage it for him. That said, it does not mean that you should not be concerned, or that you should pay for a party attitude. Does the school offer his intended major? Will he get scholarships? How does it compare price wise to the other colleges he is applying to? You are under no obligation to pay for his schooling, but if you are going to pay for one school and not this one, he may resent you for it. You certainly can put perimeters on his attendance to said school by making it clear that you will cut financial assistance based on his performance or you will only pay up to what you would have for other universities that are a better value/fit. This way you are respecting his decision but making him accountable for it.
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 63,423 Senior Member
    Your son will be very surprised to find out that the girls come to classes in regular clothes. Maybe he won't party after all.

    Honestly, U of Miami is a good school. And just for the record, there are PARTIES at every college!
  • mom2collegekidsmom2collegekids Registered User Posts: 82,539 Senior Member
    You would be the first.

    Not really. My H's mom threw away his acceptance letter to one school so that he'd think he was rejected. He didn't find out til years later.
  • rmldadrmldad Registered User Posts: 1,301 Senior Member
    I am rolling on the floor imagining this phone conversation in my mind:

    "Hello, I am Billy's parent. He sent in an application that I want you to ignore and just outright reject him."

    "So, you want us to abandon the integrity of our process and make a farce of our admissions decisions because you have communication issues with someone that you claim is your son?"

    "Yes. I believe your University would be a bad influence on him. I prefer that he goes to a better school."

    "OK. We would gladly open ourselves to lawsuits based on an unverified phone call from someone who insults our institution." Click.
  • oneeyedfinchoneeyedfinch Registered User Posts: 17 New Member
    Cormom and others, all you've said is why I haven't picked up the phone. I'm an italian mom who is anxious about him going to a college for all the wrong reasons, and one that's so far away. To be fair, he did apply ED to a school I love but I'm afraid that if he gets in and has to pull his miami app he'll always wonder what if. Btw, I think miami is a great school, just not for him.
  • toledotoledo Registered User Posts: 4,793 Senior Member
    Has he even visited Univ. of Miami? I did, and left asking, "This is Florida?". Seriously, I was not impressed with the atmosphere. Other than ugly hurricane shutters on the dorm windows, the school could be anywhere. Now, academics, is another issue.
    My H's mom threw away his acceptance letter to one school so that he'd think he was rejected. He didn't find out til years later.

    That's awful!
This discussion has been closed.