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Facebook no-nos?

momochanmomochan Registered User Posts: 45 Junior Member
edited March 2013 in Parents Forum
S (and entire senior class) received an email from the college counseling office instructing them to refrain from posting positive admissions decisions on their Facebook walls because it is hurtful and insensitive to those who are either still waiting or rejected from the same schools. Years ago, students used to put a star with their name and the name of the school on a map in the college counseling office. That was nixed a few years ago. While I wasn't crazy about the 'wall of fame", I don't see anything wrong with kids posting on FB. I believe it's part of growing up to be able to be happy for others even when you didn't get what you wanted. What do you think?
Post edited by momochan on

Replies to: Facebook no-nos?

  • Youdon'tsayYoudon'tsay Registered User Posts: 19,053 Senior Member
    I think that's ridiculous.

    At ds's school, the kids have an unofficial FB page where kids are free to post their acceptances, if they want. Ds hasn't posted either of his thus far. It's open so anyone can see it. I think it's interesting to see the kinds of schools where kids are applying.

    ETA: I do find it obnoxious when kids and parents post SAT scores.
  • GeekMom63GeekMom63 Registered User Posts: 1,957 Senior Member
    That's nuts. They should post their college admissions, and rejections, and what they had for breakfast, and current dating status, and their sadness that Great-Grandma died, and their happiness at their new baby niece, and pictures of their dogs dressed in tutus. That's what Facebook is FOR. This is what they've been working towards. I find "I had a wonderful burger for lunch" dumb, but acceptable. Same for SAT scores - a parent should never post his child's SAT scores, and should probably counsel a child against posting his own, but your Facebook is there to use.

    (Full disclosure - my kid doesn't use Facebook at all and I rarely do.)
  • momofthreeboysmomofthreeboys Registered User Posts: 15,426 Senior Member
    I don't mind the kids putting things on their FB pages, I don't think the schools should make formal announcements about where kids are attending because for many, many families it is not entirely about what school they can get into but what school can be afforded.
  • JoBennyJoBenny Registered User Posts: 777 Member
    My son's grade was similarly urged to refrain from the FB announcements. Honestly, I like the idea. I don't know if it's because his is a pretty competitive private prep school......or if it's just the nature of college admissions these days.....but from January 2nd of last year, when the bulk of the then-seniors' applications were in, until now it has been ALL college ALL the time. I like that the kids have pockets of air space where there is no college talk. Let it be said that when the EDs came out some kids still dif the "big announce".....but most respect the idea that alot of kids are still waiting and are still stressed and there will be plenty of time in May and June to celebrate everyones' news together.
  • kiddiekiddie Registered User Posts: 2,679 Senior Member
    Last year when my daughter was a senior the acceptance Facebook posts were very obnoxious - the kid were bragging and I am sure that kids who had been rejected or who had not heard yet felt badly. Some kids applied to 8-10 schools and posted every decision - sometimes multiple ones in a day. There was a Facebook group to post where you were actually going to attend which I thought was a good idea.
  • JoBennyJoBenny Registered User Posts: 777 Member
    ^^See I don't mind a closed FB group where kids can post their final decisions. Or even that map idea where kids tag their college is cute. And I'm a long way from being a "everyone wins, everyone has to get a prize and feel good" kind of parent. But the stress of this time is overwhelming to me.....and I'm not even the one on the front lines.......I don't think there's any harm in a little bit of sensitivity until everyone reaches their finish line.
  • cromettecromette Registered User Posts: 2,614 Senior Member
    Oh PLEASE!

    Don't share YOUR joy, because little Johnny is sad, so we all must not be joyful or pretend that anything good might be going on in our lives because that might hurt little Johnny's feelings.

    Welcome to the real world, little Johnny.

    I know that probably sounds crass to some, but I'm pretty tired of speech that isn't attacking someone else being squashed because it might hurt someone's feelings. It's just silly to me.
  • persona3persona3 Registered User Posts: 120 Junior Member
    That's a bit harsh, I'd say... I only posted about the school I chose to go to, but I nonetheless made a "got in to x school and now I'm a x mascot" status. Others do tend to make a big deal about it and say "oh, I got in to A, B, C and D top (or bottom) schools, what ever should I dooo," but some people are just like that. (these are the same kids that either post "got a 35 on my ACT, it was so easy" or "I got a 17, what happened?! It's the school's fault!)

    I think it all comes down to the kids' intentions. No one can take their achievements away from them, but sometimes we can all get a little sensitive about it.
  • Oracoj58Oracoj58 Registered User Posts: 76 Junior Member
    I'm fine with kids posting their acceptances. Kids do need to be reminded to not do it in a boastful manner.

    I am not at all on board with parental brags. SAT scores or final exam scores???? Yuck! Posting your kids financial package? Gross.
  • prefectprefect Registered User Posts: 1,281 Senior Member
    I think it's OK if they post it on their personal FB page. My kid didn't but their were plenty of "congrats" on her page on decision day (early action) from her friends who knew.

    Presumably kids are not FB friends with every kid in their class, so not everyone can see every kid's acceptances. There will always be things posted on FB that will upset someone. If a kid got into all state band, got the lead in the school play, won a debate tournament, etc., should they not post it on their FB page because it will upset their classmates who didn't get these honors?
  • ProudpatriotProudpatriot Registered User Posts: 1,480 Senior Member
    I think it's ridiculous. If a kid reaches a goal he should post it. I don't think kids should post hurtful comments directed toward other people, but positive posts about their own achievements are fair game.
  • AgentninetynineAgentninetynine Registered User Posts: 1,553 Senior Member
    Not sure why this is such an issue. Most of their peers will know about acceptances long before it hits Facebook. Acceptance & enrollment to any college is a reason to celebrate.
  • glidoglido Registered User Posts: 5,734 Senior Member
    Schools have no authority over what kids post on their Facebook re college admissions. If there is something on Facebook that you don't like, don't log onto Facebook.
  • SteveMASteveMA Registered User Posts: 6,079 Senior Member
    Our school hangs pennants from the colleges the kids are attending and keeps them up until the next year's class has acceptances/commitments roll in. The kids post on their Facebook pages where they are going, not so much where they got in. The kids had a party for one friend last year that got into his reach--VERY REACH school. Why can't kids just be happy for others.....
  • prefectprefect Registered User Posts: 1,281 Senior Member
    I also see parents post on FB about their kids acceptances. It doesn't seem to be every acceptance, just top choice or two or maybe where kid will be attending. Some have posted about school specific merit scholarships too. I like seeing these posts and feel happy for the kids and the parents.
This discussion has been closed.