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Introducing a New Expert Content Section: Careers!

Have you ever been a perpetual student or one's parent?

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Replies to: Have you ever been a perpetual student or one's parent?

  • calla1calla1 Registered User Posts: 1,919 Senior Member
    "Can not even get a therapist?"

    Why not?
  • NeudachnikNeudachnik Registered User Posts: 31 New Member
    OP, how does being with your parents for five years stop you from getting a therapist? Would they not like you to progress with your life?

    I had been in regular therapy 1995 -- 2008 but now they think therapist will do more harm then good.
  • colorado_momcolorado_mom Registered User Posts: 8,574 Senior Member
    Well... if you were self-supporting, you could make your own decisions on therapist.

    I thought of this idea - maybe you could teach (starting witn one course) at your local Community College?
  • PATheaterMomPATheaterMom Registered User Posts: 293 Junior Member
    I would happily be a perpetual student-and I'm in my mid-50's. Barring a lottery win, I've found there are many interesting activites that can expand your mind and provide structure in a similar way as being in college can.
    Volunteer work might be a good start if you find looking for a job overwhelming. You will get to know people and it can give you courage to look for and apply for jobs. And you can meet some nice people!
    You can volunteer one on one to be a tutor for a GED student, or be a guide at a museum.
  • NeudachnikNeudachnik Registered User Posts: 31 New Member
    Well... if you were self-supporting, you could make your own decisions on therapist.

    Living on their money, I really feel like a slave -- I have very little control over my life.

    What can I do?
  • NeudachnikNeudachnik Registered User Posts: 31 New Member
    Volunteer work might be a good start if you find looking for a job overwhelming.

    I already have an unpaid internship. As long as I pretend to work my parents pay me an allowance.
  • LBowieLBowie Registered User Posts: 1,815 Senior Member
    Doesn't your screen name mean "unlucky person"? Why be a self-fulfilling prophecy? It's all in the attitude!
  • NeudachnikNeudachnik Registered User Posts: 31 New Member
    Doesn't your screen name mean "unlucky person"? Why be a self-fulfilling prophecy? It's all in the attitude!

    I am a Neudachnik -- that does not exactly translate as "loser". I am looking for help.
  • LBowieLBowie Registered User Posts: 1,815 Senior Member
    Having an internship is significant even if unpaid. I hope the experience you gain there will help you in the future.
  • AlwaysLearnAlwaysLearn Registered User Posts: 214 Junior Member
    Not sure if this is a serious post or not, but I'll bite and assume it is, since you say you are reaching out for help:

    You ask what you can do. 1) Apply for jobs, 2) Get one, and then 3) Start putting money away for yourself from said job. If you can work an unpaid internship and graduated college, you have what it takes to go out there and get a job. You don't have to move out of your parents' place right away. Take it one step at a time. It sounds like you are really unhappy, and you can change that. Best of luck to you!
  • NeudachnikNeudachnik Registered User Posts: 31 New Member
    Having an internship is significant even if unpaid. I hope the experience you gain there will help you in the future.

    I do not work there -- I pretend to work as long as my parents give me allowance and my advisor keeps me. I do not like mathematics, so I do not know how to work on something boring.
  • NeudachnikNeudachnik Registered User Posts: 31 New Member
    Not sure if this is a serious post or not, but I'll bite and assume it is, since you say you are reaching out for help.

    I understand that in USA it is hard to find a 40 year old man totally dependent on his parents. But in Asia it is common -- being totally supported and greatly controlled by parents at any age.

    Even in USA it is much more common then in 1970.

    Actually, I am not even sure I want a job if my parents are willing to support me. What hurts me very much is the LONELIENESS after I graduated -- now almost five years.
  • AlwaysLearnAlwaysLearn Registered User Posts: 214 Junior Member
    Ah, okay. I missed that you only pretend to work there.

    I understand that you may not want to work, but I'm sure you also know that by being financially dependent on your parents, the trade off is that they will retain that control over you.

    If you have something you might like to do for work and try to get out there a do it, you will meet people and not be as lonely. The question is what is preventing from doing that. Is it social anxiety? Are your parents discouraging you from doing so, so that they can keep that control? You say you feel like a slave. Being financially independent is very freeing. I know it's easier said than done, but once you take that first step towards doing something, things will start rolling along for you, and you will begin to climb out of the rut that you are in. Best of luck.
  • entomomentomom Registered User Posts: 23,662 Senior Member
    MODERATOR NOTE: This thread is not about college, please post further comments on the OPs thread on the Cafe.
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