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Have you ever been a perpetual student or one's parent?

NeudachnikNeudachnik 27 replies4 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 31 New Member
edited July 2013 in Parents Forum
I mean someone who can only be a student and can absolutely not function in the "real world"?
edited July 2013
29 replies
Post edited by Neudachnik on
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Replies to: Have you ever been a perpetual student or one's parent?

  • boysx3boysx3 4990 replies174 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 5,164 Senior Member
    Why could some one not function in the real world, barring some kind of health issue? There are all kinds of real world environments--sometimes it takes a little extra bit of effort to identify the right opportunity but it is out there. One friends son is autistic, for example , and has problems in workplace social environments-- however, he has a job as a medical transcription isn't. His father is not skilled socially either but he has a good job as an actuary.
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  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 34785 replies1076 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 35,861 Senior Member
    This guy is a "lifelong learner". But he functions in the real world, just fine.
    Perpetual Student Michael Nicholson on His Way to 30th Degree
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  • HImomHImom 33856 replies387 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 34,243 Senior Member
    I guess it's all priorities. He should go to a place where he can get free tuition because he's a SR. There are states which offer this. Taking menial jobs to keep being a student doesn't sound pleasant to me. There are many jobs where you can varying amounts of training and employers who will help pay for your education

    H took 7 years to get his bachelors degree. After that, he spent 45 years as a federal civil servant. D spent 6 years after HS getting her BA, between CC and U, plus one summer. Hoping she will now get back into career mode.
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  • thumper1thumper1 73027 replies3179 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 76,206 Senior Member
    Well...no. We funded the bachelors degree, and only four years of it (yes if there had been extenuating circumstances we would have funded additional time). If the student wanted to be a perpetual,student, he/she would have had to either find fully funded programs, or take loans.,the bank of mom and dad would not have funded this.

    Heck...if the student continues to be able to find fully funded college programs, I would MMOB.
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  • dadxdadx 2642 replies9 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 2,651 Senior Member
    People are nice to you when "you're paying them". This is the case when you're a student, even if you're on scholarship, fellowship, etc. Life gets tougher when people are paying you, and unfortunately, some of the perpetual student syndrome exists because people are trying to avoid the hard knocks that life is prepared to (guaranteed to) dish out. I'm not sure what to do about that syndrome.
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  • NeudachnikNeudachnik 27 replies4 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 31 New Member
    Why could some one not function in the real world, barring some kind of health issue?

    I do not know -- I do not have real "life skills" or social skills. I lived with my family of origin all my life.
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  • NeudachnikNeudachnik 27 replies4 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 31 New Member
    How can one find fully funded programs?
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  • NeudachnikNeudachnik 27 replies4 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 31 New Member
    People are nice to you when "you're paying them". This is the case when you're a student, even if you're on scholarship, fellowship, etc. Life gets tougher when people are paying you, and unfortunately, some of the perpetual student syndrome exists because people are trying to avoid the hard knocks that life is prepared to (guaranteed to) dish out. I'm not sure what to do about that syndrome.

    For me getting out of college was a trauma . After 5 years I still have no friends and no therapist.
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  • HImomHImom 33856 replies387 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 34,243 Senior Member
    I went straight from college to law school. I preferred law school to the caseloads and having cases hanging over your head of work. In other respects, preferred work over school.

    The idea of being a perpetual student in artificial environment holds no appeal to me, nor my kids. We hope S will want to return to get grad degree but so far he's enjoying the work world and after taking a one year break followed by two years of working shows no signs of rushing back to school.

    I think he even finds flying 3 weeks per month OK, as part of his job. He likes his very nice apartment and lifestyle. Seems pretty content so far.
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  • boysx3boysx3 4990 replies174 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 5,164 Senior Member
    Then you need to find a therapist, and start developing skills to survive in the real world.
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  • atomomatomom 4618 replies41 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 4,659 Senior Member
    I've known a few people--all male-- who got well into their 30s-40s without having a "real" job. Most of them just liked the academic atmosphere, loved learning/knowing stuff, and went about collecting degrees. Most lived very modestly on assistantships/fellowships or supplemented with part-time tutoring, restaurant, retail, etc. jobs. Some had very supportive spouses. Some just couldn't find themselves. When I was in grad school, there was one guy who'd been in the 2-year program for 6 years. He purposefully did not complete his last required course, and was happy living on a TA stipend. The dept. didn't care, so they just let him continue (wondering now if he ever graduated?)
    The "perpetual students" I've known were all very smart people, and loved learning. I wouldn't say they couldn't function in the "real world" (Whose real world? There are plenty of worlds out there. . .) People might view them as odd or unambitious, but as long as they are content and paying their bills and not doing anything illegal, I wouldn't judge them.

    OP, sounds like you want to go to grad school. If you love college so much, find a way to go back.
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  • beth's mombeth's mom 3256 replies110 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 3,366 Senior Member
    My brother somehow took 9 years to get his undergraduate degree and another 14 to get his PhD. He was pretty much in school for that whole time. He might have held some part time minimum wage jobs during that period, and he definitely had teaching assistantships, but from high school to PhD - 23 years. He's now a professor at a state flagship university. So I guess he's STILL in school.
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  • NeudachnikNeudachnik 27 replies4 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 31 New Member
    Then you need to find a therapist, and start developing skills to survive in the real world.

    Now being out of college five years totally dependent on my parents, I can not even get a therapist.
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  • NeudachnikNeudachnik 27 replies4 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 31 New Member
    I've known a few people--all male-- who got well into their 30s-40s without having a "real" job.

    Count me in. Do they also live with their parents?
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  • boysx3boysx3 4990 replies174 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 5,164 Senior Member
    OP, how does being with your parents for five years stop you from getting a therapist? Would they not like you to progress with your life?
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