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time mag article "Sexual Assault Crisis on American campuses"

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Replies to: time mag article "Sexual Assault Crisis on American campuses"

  • soonmtnestsoonmtnest 223 replies12 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    those men dont need to be smart, they need to be castrated.
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  • Niquii77Niquii77 9994 replies110 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2014
    Perhaps, because I come from a different generation I see things differently. It is not a female issue. It is a gender issue. I have been educated more than enough through studies, educational videos, and seminars and have observed beliefs that are not helping the end (or decreases) of sexual assault on college campuses or even outside of college campuses. In this given moment in time, the baton has been passed off the the men, but in order for long-term success, collaboration is the important thing.
    edited May 2014
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  • turtletimeturtletime 1245 replies12 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2014
    When I say "smart" I'm saying that they need to understand their alcohol limits as well. They need to understand that they are liable for their actions while intoxicated. They also need to understand that they are at risk too. Men can be rape victims as well... especially young men and boys.
    edited May 2014
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  • awcntdbawcntdb 3553 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2014
    @turtletime - I would think if you have to explain the point of single sentence poster, then it clearly has missed the point and is not very effective or possibly even a negative.
    edited May 2014
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  • turtletimeturtletime 1245 replies12 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2014
    Haha, that's it. 40-year-olds are so out of touch. Honey, I grew up in the theatre world. I've been around the notion of gender over sex since I was 8-years-old. You might not understand the posters you are seeing and the popularity of male awareness at the moment but that is a comprehension issue on your part. Live a couple more decades and you'll have a better idea how all these campaigns work.
    edited May 2014
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  • Niquii77Niquii77 9994 replies110 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    8-|

    I can't even...

    #byefelicia
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  • awcntdbawcntdb 3553 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    If there are more students, such as ^^, then the poster has definitely missed its mark.
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  • HuntHunt 26787 replies131 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I agree that there has been plenty of victim-blaming. However, I wonder if the idea that men need to be taught about consent is really the answer, at least in the United States. What if, as seems to me to be more and more likely, a large portion of sexual assault is being perpetrated by people who know there is no consent, but do it anyway? People who commit robberies and other crimes know that they're not supposed to do these things--we don't try to address problems of robbery by a campaign to tell people they shouldn't rob. But we do teach people how to protect themselves and others from crimes of all kinds. I think, perhaps, that men (and women) need to be taught how to identify predatory behavior in other men, and also taught that it's everyone's responsibility to stop it.
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  • momof3sonsmomof3sons 4968 replies148 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I have 3 sons. (Duh, check my screen name.) I did speak with all of them when they were "of age" that when a girl says "no" she means it. I think they clearly understood me. I agree with the poster above about serial rapists on campuses. One such "serialist" was finally expelled from one of my son's campuses, just before his senior year. I don't think the vast, vast majority of guys would sexually assault someone.
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  • Niquii77Niquii77 9994 replies110 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2014
    Comment removed.
    edited May 2014
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  • awcntdbawcntdb 3553 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    @momof3sons - Examples, such as your sons, are why I think the poster is a net negative. It assumes all boys are either: 1) natural rapists or 2) have been taught to rape, as a general principle. Thus, they must be now taught the opposite. I can see how that turns off the 95% (whatever the number is) of all boys who do not rape or even think of raping.
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  • awcntdbawcntdb 3553 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2014
    @Niquii77 - I am agreeing with you that the poster is focusing too much on the boys alone and not on getting both boys and girls to weed out the bad apples together by both taking preventive actions and then reporting the bad apples when found.
    edited May 2014
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  • momofthreeboysmomofthreeboys 16629 replies66 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Not the OP, but others perhaps who have posted. As a woman, and as a strong woman, I tune out when I read things like this:
    The most important thing is for people to teach their sons not to assault women

    Also knowing alittle bit about males now that I'm older, married and having raised sons, and been in the workforce for over 30 years, I know that kind of rhetoric also goes in one ear and out the other of males -- they tune out just like I do... It is not entirely a male problem, even though most women are attacked by serial predators...it is not a singularly male problem on college campuses. If today's young women don't get it in their heads that they have some degree of responsibility for their behavior, their choices and where their life takes them; that they aren't little hot house flowers to be "protected" from big bad boys until the marriage alter, my generation of women have wasted the last 3 to 4 decades of attempting to get the world to treat us and compensate us as equal to men.

    And "no means no" works pretty well for men. It's straightforward, it's simple, it's clear. it's direct and it's pretty much everything they need to know. That and "don't ever have sex without a condom" should get boys though their early adulthood.

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  • saintfansaintfan 8182 replies92 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    When I read the police report from the recently publicized U of Oregon incident I realized more than I had before how what is called "rape culture" influenced both the young woman and the guys involved. Everyone was impaired and making bad choices but she allowed herself to be lead by the arm into the bathroom twice with several guys then got in a cab with them later. I am not at all condoning the behavior of the guys but it did give me pause when one of them asked why, after the activity in the bathroom at the party, did she get in a cab with them and go to their apartment? All parties seemed to have the idea that it was on some level normal, regular behavior. At one point she said that she thought that's what happened at college. The guy went on to say that she was participatory until a point later in the night where she cried, then they left her and went to the living room. In this case the message of "don't rape" isn't really as effective because they weren't identifying their behavior as rape or even, apparently, non-consensual up to that point. I agree that they should have and that regardless it wasn't the sort of thing that you would want to have happen to your sister, but to change behavior I think it's important to figure out where things are at now and work backwards.
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  • VladenschlutteVladenschlutte 4292 replies37 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    The most important thing is for people to teach their sons not to assault women. It saddens me deeply that we teach our daughters many ways to not be assaulted but do not teach our sons not to assault women.

    This is said a lot and it's a bit silly really. I'm not trying to take a pro-sexual assault stance or anything like that, but it's pretty clear to everyone that assaulting someone is wrong. It's not like the issue was no one told them not to do it so they didn't know. We don't make the "teach people not to be criminals" argument when talking about scammers for instance.

    I would hope that if there was an assault, the police would be called first, not campus security or any such garbage. It's simply better for society that these things go through with the police.

    It may also not be inappropriate to carry a pistol if you're vulnerable.
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  • momofthreeboysmomofthreeboys 16629 replies66 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I would hope that if there was an assault, the police would be called first, not campus security or any such garbage. It's simply better for society that these things go through with the police.

    I agree with this and have said it numerous times when these types of threads come up. Assault is illegal. Rape is illegal. Seems like a pretty black and white legal issue to be dealt with in the courts. Being drunk off your ass in a public place is stupid - you can get assaulted if you are a man, you can get assaulted if you are a woman. You can be arrested for disorderly conduct at a minimum. Don't get drunk off your ass.
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  • awcntdbawcntdb 3553 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    It may also not be inappropriate to carry a pistol if you're vulnerable.

    There is no "may" or "inappropriate" about self-defense.
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  • jazzcatastrophejazzcatastrophe 757 replies17 threadsRegistered User Member
    @Vladenschlutte‌ Sure, it is clear that clear-cut cases of assault are wrong. But a much bigger problem on college campuses are situations that are more vague, such as a college guy that takes advantage of a girl who has had too much to drink, or who pressure girls into messing around even if the girl is reluctant and unwilling. Neither of these situations is what most people typically think of as assault as they are both not violent and are fairly normalized by peers and media. Sure, most people know that they shouldn't attack and assault a young woman walking down the street. But many young men (and women) just don't know that either of the two situations I described are in fact assault. Those are the kinds of assault most prevalent on college campuses, and that is what I was referring to.

    And unfortunately, campus security often heavily discourages getting police involved, and a person who has just been assaulted is not likely to push the issue due to fear of retribution or trauma. In my opinion this is one of the biggest issues with the handling of assaults on campuses. It sucks, but it's the reality of the situation at many schools
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