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Common versus uncommon parental restrictions on college choices

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Replies to: Common versus uncommon parental restrictions on college choices

  • SansSerifSansSerif Registered User Posts: 814 Member

    When I was a teen, I wanted to go to UCLA (we live in PA). At the time, UCLA was not impossible to get into, and not expensive for out of state (it was still free tuition for CA residents - yes, I'm old). So add in a few plane trips, and it still would have been no more expensive than the private schools I applied to and my parents were willing to pay for. Yet my mom wouldn't let me apply to UCLA. Said "if you go there, you'll end up living there!" To which I said "Duh ... "

    I would never have put that restriction on my daughter. This is a time to explore. I always told her that she could go to any college A) She could get in B) We could afford. However, her grades/scores are fairly low, and UCLA is, what, $50,000 a year for OOS? So she's applying to the regional state colleges she has a chance of getting into. I wish she did have the choice of going further away to more exciting places, but that's the way it is.
  • LucieTheLakieLucieTheLakie Registered User Posts: 4,057 Senior Member
    @SansSerif, are you sure there aren't options for your daughter beyond regional state colleges (not that there's anything wrong with them)? I know a couple of kids with pretty significant learning disabilities who I'm quite certain either scored fairly low on standardized tests or only applied to schools that are test-optional, but both are headed to really nice OOS LACs.
  • SomeOldGuySomeOldGuy Registered User Posts: 1,986 Senior Member
    Also, I see a number of comments like this:
    My kids have known since birth that Duke was off-limits (ACC Basketball thing)

    Do you really mean this? And if you're just sort of kidding, do your kids know whether you're serious about it or not? (My question is directed to anybody who's made such statements.)

    For that particular restriction, I'd guess about two-thirds of the folks who say it are (sort of) joking and the other third are deadly serious. And virtually none of 'em have to act on it because the kids were raised to think that "GOTOHELLDUKE" is the full name of the school.
  • SansSerifSansSerif Registered User Posts: 814 Member
    @LucietheLakie I did do a thread in the College Search forum not too long ago. And there really wasn't much else in the way of options. (Search for the thread "College suggestions for my daughter? (Not a great student")" )
    I don't want to hijack this thread, so if anyone has any other ideas for my daughter, please message me. Thanks!
  • LucieTheLakieLucieTheLakie Registered User Posts: 4,057 Senior Member
    @SansSerif, I'll try to read through that thread and if I have any ideas for your daughter I'll PM you!
  • BestfriendsgirlBestfriendsgirl Registered User Posts: 935 Member
    Yet my mom wouldn't let me apply to UCLA. Said "if you go there, you'll end up living there!"
    My H is like this. He thinks the world will come to an end if either of our kids moves more than an hour or two away. Me, I would like for them to stay around, but not if they have to spend the rest of their lives in BS $30,000.00-a-year jobs.
  • PicapolePicapole Registered User Posts: 435 Member
    I had a cousin who was strongly pressured to stay in state for college. She met a guy who was from another state and moved there with him after college.
  • PurpleTitanPurpleTitan Registered User Posts: 12,654 Senior Member
    John McKay would not allow his son to apply to Stanford (he thought that the Stanford students were the worst when it came to how opposing fans treated his USC players). The son went to Princeton instead.
  • BestfriendsgirlBestfriendsgirl Registered User Posts: 935 Member
    And virtually none of 'em have to act on it because the kids were raised to think that "GOTOHELLDUKE" is the full name of the school.
    For our kids, it was WVUSUCKS! ;)
  • jeannemarjeannemar Registered User Posts: 387 Member
    I must confess I was relieved that neither our state flagship nor local instate rival had the major DS wanted. And neither does Duke!
  • CheeringsectionCheeringsection Registered User Posts: 2,398 Senior Member
    Looking forward to more on this thread!
  • Tperry1982Tperry1982 Forum Champion Yale Posts: 1,574 Forum Champion
    I went to Yale so my D could not apply to Harvard. She kind of restricted herself because of her desire to go to a school in New England and one with liberal arts. That was fine with me since most of New England is within a decent drive time from our home.
  • CheeringsectionCheeringsection Registered User Posts: 2,398 Senior Member
    Bump. I have a feeling there are more good stories out there by now.
  • heartpondererheartponderer Registered User Posts: 25 New Member
    I told my daughter she could not apply to schools in southern California. I have no rational reason for this other than stereotypes and that there are plenty of other schools to apply to. Now she is applying to jobs, and the one that she is most attracted to is in San Diego. You just can't tempt fate.
  • MarianMarian Registered User Posts: 13,217 Senior Member
    edited October 2014
    @heartponderer My husband told our daughter that she could not apply to schools in central cities because it was too dangerous. In the four years since she graduated she has ONLY lived in central cities -- first for a job and later for graduate school. And so far, her only close contact with crime has been the kind she heard about while serving on a grand jury.
This discussion has been closed.