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Overbearing mother in college selection

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Replies to: Overbearing mother in college selection

  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 76,044 Senior Member
    The issue I'm reading on this thread is that the OP wants to go to college outside of Florida. Her mom has Florida Prepaid to some degree, and the student qualifies for some level of bright Futures. The mom has clearly stated that she would like this student to attend college in FL...presumably for the financial advantage it gives them.

    Everyone here has said...the OP can and should look for options where she will be able to fund college with a net cost that is within the parameters set by her mom. This is not being overbearing...it is being realistic.

    These issues really have nothing to do with the GC at all. These are financial issues the OP needs to reconcile with her mom.
  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone Registered User Posts: 21,833 Senior Member
    In Florida, the GC sends the transcripts electronically to Florida PUBLIC schools. At our school, for everywhere else, we had to request a snail mail transcript ($2), pick up the sealed transcript, and mail it in ourselves. The GC did not help with ANYTHING else - no common apps, no recommendations, no suggestions, no scholarships. Our GCs are not 65 years old, but overworked. They specialize in Florida publics because that's where the vast majority of their students go. They have limited time and help the most students by knowing the Florida process. We have kids going to MIT, Naval Academy, UA, but I assume those students did the ground work themselves.

    I have one child going OOS and one to a private Florida school. We had to figure it out (and pick up the transcripts, apply for the scholarships, ask for recommendations without going through the guidance office). If OP is going to seek an OOS school, it's going to be a lot more work for her. I can understand her mother not wanting to spend the time or money when there are PERFECTLY good schools in Florida (that was MY attitude!). I told my kids I would pay the amount I would pay for a Florida public school and they used that as their limit. The had a lot of choices within that budget, both in and out of state, large and small, public and private.

    OP, ask your questions here and we'll answer them. When you talk to your mother, have the facts and figures. Show her how it won't cost any more money for UA than FSU or FAU. Open your eyes to what the Florida schools can offer you.
  • Niquii77Niquii77 Registered User Posts: 10,104 Senior Member
    In Florida, the GC sends the transcripts electronically to Florida PUBLIC schools. At our school, for everywhere else, we had to request a snail mail transcript ($2), pick up the sealed transcript, and mail it in ourselves. The GC did not help with ANYTHING else - no common apps, no recommendations, no suggestions, no scholarships.
    At my presumed "ghetto" Florida high school, the GCs were extremely helpful to their top students. Some GCs were better than others. Some were A LOT better than others. But the GCs helped with transcripts, recommendations, common app, programs that would benefit the student, awards and nominations, and much more. They really pushed to ensure the students that showed their potential could get where they're going. While the students who applied to the top schools did have to do some of the work themselves, if they presented what help they needed from their GC, the GC would exhaust all their resources. Situations like these are uncommon, so they really strive for success.
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 76,044 Senior Member
    Right NOW this student does not have the stats for the significant merit awards that would bring the OOS costs down to similar to FL publics with bright futures and the FL prepaid plan. If she gets to that point, she can talk turkey with her mom.

    I suggested upstream that this student create TWO application lists...one using her current stats, and one using the hoped for stats. Be prepared either way.
  • Niquii77Niquii77 Registered User Posts: 10,104 Senior Member
    edited July 2014
    Well, a good amount of things have been suggested, but haven't really heard what from the OP what she will or will not be doing... 8-|
  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus Registered User Posts: 76,615 Senior Member
    thumper1 wrote:
    The issue I'm reading on this thread is that the OP wants to go to college outside of Florida. Her mom has Florida Prepaid to some degree, and the student qualifies for some level of bright Futures. The mom has clearly stated that she would like this student to attend college in FL...presumably for the financial advantage it gives them.

    However, it appear that the OP and OP's mother have not had the money talk, given that it is a "touchy" subject at home, and most of the OP's descriptions seem to contain assumptions, rather than reports of what the OP's mother clearly stated (e.g. "price limit is $X"). The talk also needs to clarify whether the OP's mother has other non-financial reasons for wanting the OP to stay in-state (it seems fairly common for parents to want the students to stay close to home, even if the further away school is less expensive).
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 76,044 Senior Member
    I believe the OP has a brother who will also be in college when she matriculates.

    But I agree. The mom and kiddo need to discuss any financial limitations on college applications. That will help the OP to make a well rounded list within those parameters...with perhaps a maybe school or two thrown in.
  • alijasminedalijasmined Registered User Posts: 114 Junior Member
    One of the GCs at my school retired so they split the senior class and gave 1/2 to the 10th grade GC and another to the 11th grade GC. I was a disaster! Thankfully, I have (^^^ as stated) taken advantage of my online resources.
  • KayB698KayB698 Registered User Posts: 4 New Member
    As most others have stated, your Mom's concerns is probably centered on cost, but she can also be concerned about proximity. She probably feels confident you can get a solid education at a reasonable cost in an area she is familiar with. Perhaps look at the OOS waiver thread to see if your stats would qualify for full tuition and think about schools that offer good programs in your major of choice in a familiar area.
This discussion has been closed.