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First Acceptance Arrived

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Replies to: First Acceptance Arrived

  • turtletimeturtletime 1245 replies12 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    My D wasn't thrilled about all her acceptances. I thought she was going to cry when she got accepted into our local state school early and invited to honors. I had required her to apply just because it was a true safety on all fronts and yes, an excellent school with good programs. Getting into that school made her feel trapped and worried that this was truly going to be her only option. Yes, she was being a bit irrational but that was something she really couldn't verbalize until her favorites started accepting her with good financial packages. It's an anxious time for them and I wouldn't waste too much time trying to figure out all their emotional responses. It'll likely come out at the end of the process.
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  • crazymamaBcrazymamaB 268 replies1 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    My D was the same way, and I also was disappointed with the reaction. In hindsight, I think it was because she was so undecided about where she wanted to go that she couldn't get excited. Don't worry, things will fall into place as the rest of those acceptances start coming in. My D eventually found the right school at the right price, and finally got excited about it. And it turned out to be one of those EA acceptances.
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  • RdtsmithRdtsmith 814 replies58 threadsRegistered User Member
    I've found the waiting for Springtime to see the bottom line much more stressful than the actual acceptances! We're waiting on some Ivies and have generous merit aid already from non Ivies he's been accepted to. I think it will come down to money at least partly right?

    Do kids really apply to multiple Ivies, get accepted then turn them all down when they see the bottom line?
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  • MYOS1634MYOS1634 41878 replies451 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited November 2014
    What turtletime reports is real, though - some parents make their kids apply to the local school with honors college "as a safety" and then decide for them that it'll be good enough for them, no matter where else they got in. In some cases, it's because they didn't discuss financials beforehand, in some cases it's because parents don't trust the far-away school or don't know there are differences between universities (such as the kid from Arkansas admitted to UChicago on a full ride, whose parents thought the state flagship would be better, or the boy from Texas whose parents pushed him to attend a college where he had a full ride but that didn't offer his major and where he had already taken all but one of the math courses on offer), in some cases it's because of divorce/NCP disputes, with some parents using college funds are a bargaining chip or retaliation.... kids know that an acceptance to a Honors College is both a guarantee they'll go to college and an added doubt they may not be going where they thought they would.
    And, sure, it's college, so it's better than nothing, but still.
    To get back to that kid from AR, no one argued UA was better than UChicago. And a kid who "fits" at some universities may not "fit" in at others. There are literally dozens and dozens of examples each year of kids "pushed" into a poor-fit college when they had other choices, or who have to "make do", not always with good results.
    I know a kid whose parents had money and had always said they'd pay for whatever highest ranked college she got into. They made her apply to the local university + honors. When she got into both, with a full ride at the latter and full pay at the former they said she had to go to the local university. She was devastated because it was a huge betrayal of trust - she felt they had "trapped" her by making her apply to a school where she didn't want to go, all the while promising that she could go to school X, W, or Z (and they had such means that it wasn't conditional to "making it work financially"), to turn on her at acceptance time.
    All these stories aren't unique, seniors and even juniors all know students for whome these stories were a reality.
    So lots of anxieties come out, not all of them imaginary.

    I guess one way to calm kids down is to convey your pride but not make it into an obligation...
    edited November 2014
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  • 4Gulls4Gulls 537 replies0 threadsRegistered User Member
    I still find myself second guessing both kids' choices. Unfortunately, cost played a larger role than I wish it had. ialso found that by the time April rolled around we were all so exhausted and tried of talking about,thinking about, debating pros and cons, etc. - I can honestly say that if I had a "do-over" the process and decision for both might have been different - but I can also honestly say that the outcome for both is really fine, too.
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  • 4Gulls4Gulls 537 replies0 threadsRegistered User Member
    As for lukewarm responses to acceptances, just wait till the first denial or deferral arrives. That's no fun either.
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  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus 78229 replies690 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    MYOS1634 wrote:
    such as the kid from Arkansas admitted to UChicago on a full ride, whose parents thought the state flagship would be better,

    You mean this thread?
    http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1642666-14k-chicago-v-7-8k-arkansas-honors-undergraduate-p1.html

    In this thread, Chicago was a few thousand dollars more expensive than Arkansas. But Arkansas was already at the stretch budget limit, so the student needed to figure out how to cut costs through frugal living and such to make Chicago affordable. There was consensus that Chicago was worth the extra cost, but it also appeared that many posters did not consider that the few thousand dollars that seems trivial to a typical high SES parent poster is actually quite a big deal to a student for whom that puts the price over the stretch budget.
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  • Tperry1982Tperry1982 1568 replies6 threadsForum Champion Yale Forum Champion
    My D got into the only school she ever wanted to go to SCEA. She was ecstatic when the link sang and she was in! However, reality quickly set in and college became "real". It really meant she had to leave home. It really meant she had to leave her BFFs of 13 years. It really meant stepping into the adult unknown.

    Trust me, the reaction is normal. Things may get worse before its all over as they start to pull away and undo the apron strings. Even my perfect kid had her moments. It's called "soiling the nest". Look it up.

    The good thing is that it passes. All our freshmen were just home for Thanksgiving. Good to see them but I know in my heart my baby has been replaced with a college kid I love just as much.
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  • drcharismadrcharisma 178 replies55 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    As a senior, I can sympathize with that girl in OP's post. It's a safety school; you are expected to get admitted. There is no feeling of accomplishment because it is a "safety" school, a school that is a last resort. I know I would feel "meh".
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  • tk21769tk21769 10658 replies27 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Of her 6 EA schools, 5 are safeties (Dickinson is the only match on the list)...She is applying to a few reach schools but I guess I'm bursting her bubble with the "we can't afford that" factor tempered with the "she deserves to go there" (that isn't me saying that, that is a NCP saying that haha).

    Most applicants don't need more than 1 or 2 true admission and financial safeties.

    If UMass at in-state rates is a true admission/financial safety, and Dickinson is a match, then some of the NESCAC schools (Bates, Colby, Colgate, etc.) might turn out to be cost-competitive after need-based aid (especially if your income is less than ~$110K).
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  • NEPatsGirlNEPatsGirl 2845 replies106 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    UMass is def a safety (although I still think its too $$), the rest are only academic safeties and she will be applying to 16 other schools RD, most of the NESCAC schools. Unfortunately, we are dealing with a two-family/self employment financial base for aid. Bio Dad makes more than $110K for sure, my husband and I are custodial at $55K. Too hard to tell what will happen thus many applications. Only time will tell. Honestly, there aren't too many financial safeties for us. We can afford $25K, although we might stretch that...I haven't found any schools that can absolutely guarantee that price given our other basic requirements (housing, grad rates, etc) except a couple of other state schools and community colleges. Living at home and commuting is out of the question, there is only one school within 90 miles other than the local cc and that is a hellish commute!
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  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone 22966 replies17 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    16 more schools, and most of those schools are the same type? I think she'd do better to research which schools are a possibility and work on those. The cost of applying, sending scores, doing the CSS will be high and the quality may be lower because of the volume.

    Since she has the acceptance from UMass, can she eliminate any schools that she wouldn't go to over UMass? Eliminate schools that really will not cost less than UMass? Eliminate schools that are really too far from home?
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  • NEPatsGirlNEPatsGirl 2845 replies106 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited December 2014
    I"m sorry, I misspoke, its 16-18 total.

    She doesn't have an acceptance yet, she is awaiting 5 of the 6 EAs to come in next week some time. And FWIW, UMass is literally at the bottom of her list of 18 schools because of the size mostly :( I'm sure she'll eliminate a few of the schools on the RD list depending on merit awards on the EA list but for right now, I'm more than willing to shell out the $1000 total for the 15+ schools to see what they will offer. If we can save $10K/year, that's a drop in the hat. Maybe I'm way off base and I'll take any recommendations that are offered, but everything I have researched in the last year (and God knows I've done all that I've had time for) says to spread the net wide when financial aid is uncertain. We have driven all over to look at so many schools and eliminated so many already. I know that I posted this many months ago but here's the stats again for anyone that has any help to offer:

    SAT: 2070 (took again Saturday, hoping to raise it to CR 650~to at least 2120): CR600/M750/W720
    GPA: 4.2 UW, 4.8W, straight As and A+s throughout
    Rigor: Most rigorous classes available at a very challenging high school (I think it was rated #10 in the state?)
    7 IB classes, projected score is at least 42/45
    Rank: School doesn't rank but she is #1-3, not sure, out of 109
    Recommendations: Excellent by all accounts
    Awards: Highest achiever junior year: Latin, Biology, Spanish, Wellesley Book Award
    EC; No hooks, GSA Gold Award, Senior Class VP, School bookstore manager, Girls State, not sure how to tally CS but lots of it (Habitat for Humanity, etc) has worked same job four years FT summers PT school year, also does Latin tutoring for pay.

    EAs: UMass Amherst , Simmons, St. Michaels, UScranton, Ithaca, Dickinson (accepted at Ithaca with Presidential, still awaiting other financial aid). All are academic safeties and she will only go if accepted into the Honors Programs except Dickinson (M)

    RD: Reaches are Amherst, Middlebury, Barnard, Wesleyan. She'll only apply to two, not sure which just yet. High matches are: Bates and Vassar (really would like either) and Wellesley. Matches include in order of preference: Smith,, Mount Holyoke, Sidmore, Colby and a low-match at Clark U.
    edited December 2014
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  • tk21769tk21769 10658 replies27 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Most RD colleges on your list (and some of the EAs) require the PROFILE non-custodial parent form, right?
    So your Ex's income (and how each school handles it) will be the wild card.
    If it were just your income alone, I'd almost be willing to bet some of the NESCAC schools offer lower net prices than UMass. If all your ex's income ($110K) counts, then UMass is likely to be cheapest (by far), unless significant merit aid comes into play.

    But if he's the one saying "she deserves to go" to a pricey private school, of course he'll pay all the difference ...no?

    Given the factors involved, it looks like you've done a great job covering the cost/selectivity bases, and were smart to submit a fairly high number of apps.
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  • NEPatsGirlNEPatsGirl 2845 replies106 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    You are right, every school on the RD list requires the NCP. You are also right when you say the price for my household alone is far under that of UMass. NPC puts the lowest at $9K (Amherst) and the highest at $21K (Clark), everything else falling in between. But, that will not be the case. She finally cornered Dad to get an estimate. He says $10K, maybe a little more. OMG. Not going there but suffice it to say, that is not the answer we were looking for. He explained that he had no idea the pricetag would be so high because his first two children never looked at anything that required his income and so cost was based on his ex's unemployment and child support, less than $6K/year.

    And yes, we are looking for merit aid, five of the schools do offer it. We are also looking at IB credit and if that might save at least a semester or more at some of the schools. Mount Holyoke, Clark and Barnard all offer enough at first look to save a few $$. Clark also offers a free fifth year Masters with some stipulations.

    In the end, although I think Vassar, Smith and Bates are her top choices, I think she'll get to choose from at least 5 schools off the two lists. She has said that UMass and Simmons are at the bottom. We really liked UScranton and if she can get that CR up to 650 shes eligible for their Presidential which is full tuition.

    If anyone can point us to other schools that have historically given someone with her stats great merit aid would love to hear about them. I thank another poster for pointing us to St. Michaels, it is definately a good fit, a good choice for a safety school and we are anxiously awaiting their acceptance (hopefully) and fa package.
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  • halfemptypocketshalfemptypockets 570 replies5 threadsRegistered User Member
    edited December 2014
    @NEPatsGirl‌ - For what it's worth, I also think casting a wide net for safety schools is the right thing. That's what my D did too. In fact, she doesn't have a single admissions reach on her list, just financial reaches. Our D's ultimate safety acceptance is in - full tuition at Pitt, and she could go there, "if she had to." I wouldn't say she was blasé about the Pitt award, but she isn't walking on air about it either. I think she was encouraged that one of her other schools that she actually likes also might want her enough to give her the big bucks.

    Over the last few weeks, we've run into so many people who ask her where she's going to college and she tells them she doesn't know yet and then she names her top 3 schools, and a couple of other safeties, but there's no mention of Pitt. LOL - I think she's repressing it.

    How about St. Joe's in Philadelphia? She'd have a shot at their competitive full tuition scholarship (she needs a separate app). Is she going for engineering? St. Joe's won't do if that's the case. But, possibly Villanova - they're a very competitive school but they do give engineering girls big bucks.

    Some other schools that come to mind are Seton Hall, LaSalle, and Manhattan - I don't know too much about any of them except they give good merit. Seton Hall seems to have come out of nowhere in these last two years - all of a sudden it seems everybody's applying there. People who've visited there like what they see.
    edited December 2014
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  • NEPatsGirlNEPatsGirl 2845 replies106 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    @halfemptypockets - that is great news about the Pitt award. Even if it isn't in her top choices, it takes some of the edge of for both student and parents I would think. Because $$ is such an issue, we are impatiently awaiting any school offer that makes it affordable and then we can breathe knowing that she has a place to go. Unfortunately, Ithaca offered their top dollar for merit but we haven't seen the rest of the package yet. There is just such a heavy burden hoping that a school out there will award the monies needed.
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  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus 78229 replies690 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Is she willing to go out of the region? Small low cost public LACs exist in other regions, like University of Minnesota - Morris and Truman State. And there is South Dakota School of Mines and Technology for engineering, if that is of interest.

    http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/ and http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1678964-links-to-popular-threads-on-scholarships-and-lower-cost-colleges.html may have some other low cost after merit scholarships schools.

    She may want to eliminate applying to those schools which are not affordable on need-based aid and do not offer merit scholarships.
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  • NEPatsGirlNEPatsGirl 2845 replies106 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    She is not willing to go out of the region. Her furthest schools are PA (Dickinson), upstate NY and northern VT. It has been explained to her over and over that her chances of admission increase if she looks outside the NE but she would rather take her chances. As for need-based aid, we cannot calculate it because of the bio Dad's income and my household self-employed status. It has been said that "need" is very subjective between the schools and that every situation is looked at differently. We can only hope so.

    Thank you for that link, I will def take a look at it for suggestions.
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  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus 78229 replies690 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    NEPatsGirl wrote:
    As for need-based aid, we cannot calculate it because of the bio Dad's income and my household self-employed status.

    Couldn't you run the net price calculator twice for each school?

    1. With both your and the NCP's households' income and assets added together when asked.
    2. As above, but using your income before work-related deductions for a more pessimal estimate.
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