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Am I crazy not wanting my son living on campus?

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Replies to: Am I crazy not wanting my son living on campus?

  • ahsmuohahsmuoh 1309 replies37 threads Senior Member
    NKU is very much a commuter school. Campus is very quiet on the weekends. My neighbor has a daughter that is a junior there and lives in an apartment. She comes home every weekend (we live about 40 minutes away).
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  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone 24077 replies19 threads Senior Member
    I don't blame OP's son for wanting his own room, his own bathroom, his own car and parking space. Who wouldn't? I grew up sharing a bathroom with 4 brothers and a sister, was the 5th driver in a one-car family, always shared a bedroom until my sister went to college (and even then her stuff was still there). I longed for my own space but poverty kept me sharing rooms and bathrooms and cars until about age 27. Having my own room and bathroom and car IS better.

    But I can share if I have to. I also sat in a cube and hated it and that was years after I was used to having my own office, own phone, own secretary. You do what you have to do.
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  • PickOne1PickOne1 704 replies0 threads Member
    I wouldn't put a freshman in an off-campus apartment away from home. The RAs and all the support services are there to help this difficult transition to college and to keep your S safe. If he has difficulty adjusting, there will be people there to help him adjust, including likely a move to a single room if that is the only issue. But at least he is not alone in a strange place ...
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  • wis75wis75 14336 replies64 threads Senior Member
    Poor, smothered kid. Looked up NKU- Northern Kentucky??? I wouldn't be surprised if her kid locks the bathroom door to prevent invasion from mom. "We" picked out ...U.

    The best thing for young adults is to leave home. Living on campus freshman year is the best for many, many reasons. Introverts need, and get their privacy. Hopefully this kid can blossom despite his parenting.

    btw- mom got her wish, likely to find other ways to interfere in her son's life and keep him a child.
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  • Madison85Madison85 10377 replies412 threads Senior Member
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_Moved_My_Cheese?

    Am I the only who never heard of this book?!

    (We have plenty of delicious and satisfying cheeses in endless varieties here in Wisconsin).
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  • OspreyCV22OspreyCV22 1666 replies20 threads Senior Member
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_Moved_My_Cheese?

    I remember the book!

    "Enjoy Change! Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese!"
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  • Tonia39Tonia39 5 replies1 threads New Member
    Most extroverts are just big jerks at times. They simply do not get it. My son has all sorts of coping strategies for dealing with the "suck it up" brigade. @snowdog you are so right about the "advanced preparation" thing. And guess what, folks, working well and successfully with people at a job and living with them in your home is two totally different things.

    I asked a simple question, but just like typical social butterfly types, some of you went into full on rear-end mode, attacking what you don't understand. You're so "tolerant" and enlightened, until someone doesn't function like you in society. LOL!

    We are two miles outside of the "commuting" range for NKU @ucbalumnas.
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  • takeitallintakeitallin 3352 replies26 threads Senior Member
    Especially since you are only 2 miles outside the commuter range, and because the rule is new, I would have your son apply for a waiver of the rule. Could you also possibly claim financial hardship as a reason for not using the dorms? I wasn't clear if he wanted to live at home or in an off-campus apartment- I may have missed it- but in any case, he could live either place once a variance is granted.

    if you are going to post on CC, you have to be strong and ignore the unsolicited advice you will inevitably receive lol. I know I have been guilty of that too.

    On another note,one of the best books I have recently read is "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking". I highly recommend it for introverts, parents, educators, supervisors, anyone!!!
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  • suzy100suzy100 5695 replies58 threads Senior Member
    The title of the post is, "Am I crazy not wanting my son living on campus?" The OP didn't like some of the answers she got, so now she's in attack mode. Don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the full spectrum of opinions.
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  • Tonia39Tonia39 5 replies1 threads New Member
    Who am I attacking, SuzyQ? I was laughing about it, hence the "LOL." ;)
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  • HuntHunt 26787 replies131 threads Senior Member
    I guess OP didn't actually want to know if she was crazy or not.
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  • Tonia39Tonia39 5 replies1 threads New Member
    Oh, believe me, I know I'm crazy! I guess it was a rhetorical question.
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  • ClaremontMomClaremontMom 2365 replies41 threads Senior Member
    @takeitallin - The OPs son wants to live in an off campus apartment with a roommate. And it's already been resolved, the kids are considered sophomores because of their credits. (Post #38)
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  • mommdcmommdc 11860 replies31 threads Senior Member
    edited October 2015
    What option would be easier to change? Starting out in an apartment and if it doesn't work out switch to dorm or the other way around?

    Depending on how many apts are available in the area the second option might be better because getting a dorm room later if you change mind might be harder, especially a single.

    A housing deposit for dorm is a few hundred $, apartment might require 2 month's rent and security deposit up front, plus possibly utilities, food, etc.

    I still don't think it is a good idea for two freshmen to share off campus apt. If he lives in dorm son can study when he wants at library. Only laundry to do. Meals provided in cafeteria. No shopping, cooking, cleaning. Who knows if neighborhood of apt is safe or even quiet? How far from campus would it be?

    If he doesn't like sharing showers he could shower when there are fewer people, evening, afternoon.
    edited October 2015
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  • ClaremontMomClaremontMom 2365 replies41 threads Senior Member
    Meals provided in cafeteria.

    I don't have first hand knowledge, but I would assume you don't have to live on campus to get a meal plan.
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  • mommdcmommdc 11860 replies31 threads Senior Member
    @ClaremontMom, you are correct of course.

    I guess it would depend how close the apartment is to campus.

    I didn't even consider the scenario of eating on campus but living off campus. I was just wanting to show a comparison of the pros of on campus living versus possible cons of off campus living.
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  • ClaremontMomClaremontMom 2365 replies41 threads Senior Member
    @mommdc - If a kid is spending most of his day on campus going to class and getting involved, it wouldn't be that much of a stretch to think he might eat a few meals on campus instead of going back to the apartment. But, I agree, if you have an off campus apartment you probably won't need or want a full meal plan, just a partial to supplement and for convenience (instead of heading back to the apartment just to eat).

    BTW, I agree with the general concensus that a freshman live on campus (maybe not as strongly as some), but given the situation as it is, I don't see why he can't get a meal plan. It would also help with meeting people and feeling part of the community.

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  • mommdcmommdc 11860 replies31 threads Senior Member
    But I thought the OP wanted the apartment option because of privacy and quiet for studying?

    It didn't sound like he would be on campus much outside of classes in that case.

    Yes, I'm sure there are partial meal plans, but he would most likely still have to cook dinner, unless he can take out his meals from the cafeteria.
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  • ClaremontMomClaremontMom 2365 replies41 threads Senior Member
    I'm just giving the kid the benefit of the doubt. I'm assuming that he's not antisocial, that he still has (or wants to have) friends, get involved in clubs, etc. but at the end of the day needs to get away for some alone time and some peace and quiet for studying.

    And yes, he'd still have to cook some meals. If he knows how to cook, great. If he doesn't the OP might want to consider a partial plan to make sure he's eating okay. And if he is that introverted, perhaps a meal plan will give him a gentle nudge in the direction of some social time.
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