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Am I crazy not wanting my son living on campus?


Replies to: Am I crazy not wanting my son living on campus?

  • ClaremontMomClaremontMom Registered User Posts: 2,401 Senior Member
    Meals provided in cafeteria.

    I don't have first hand knowledge, but I would assume you don't have to live on campus to get a meal plan.
  • mommdcmommdc Registered User Posts: 10,949 Senior Member
    @ClaremontMom, you are correct of course.

    I guess it would depend how close the apartment is to campus.

    I didn't even consider the scenario of eating on campus but living off campus. I was just wanting to show a comparison of the pros of on campus living versus possible cons of off campus living.
  • ClaremontMomClaremontMom Registered User Posts: 2,401 Senior Member
    @mommdc - If a kid is spending most of his day on campus going to class and getting involved, it wouldn't be that much of a stretch to think he might eat a few meals on campus instead of going back to the apartment. But, I agree, if you have an off campus apartment you probably won't need or want a full meal plan, just a partial to supplement and for convenience (instead of heading back to the apartment just to eat).

    BTW, I agree with the general concensus that a freshman live on campus (maybe not as strongly as some), but given the situation as it is, I don't see why he can't get a meal plan. It would also help with meeting people and feeling part of the community.

  • mommdcmommdc Registered User Posts: 10,949 Senior Member
    But I thought the OP wanted the apartment option because of privacy and quiet for studying?

    It didn't sound like he would be on campus much outside of classes in that case.

    Yes, I'm sure there are partial meal plans, but he would most likely still have to cook dinner, unless he can take out his meals from the cafeteria.
  • ClaremontMomClaremontMom Registered User Posts: 2,401 Senior Member
    I'm just giving the kid the benefit of the doubt. I'm assuming that he's not antisocial, that he still has (or wants to have) friends, get involved in clubs, etc. but at the end of the day needs to get away for some alone time and some peace and quiet for studying.

    And yes, he'd still have to cook some meals. If he knows how to cook, great. If he doesn't the OP might want to consider a partial plan to make sure he's eating okay. And if he is that introverted, perhaps a meal plan will give him a gentle nudge in the direction of some social time.
  • cmsjmtcmsjmt Registered User Posts: 298 Junior Member
    People are wired the way they're wired. Some people are just more sensitive to noise than others, because they have much more sensitive hearing. I would say let your son live in the dorm but help him find a dorm that is the quietest, most academically focused with the least amount of partying. The counselors on campus can probably help you identify which one fits the bill. Also you can get him those noise cancelling headphones to study in his room, they cost about $300 and work really well. He can also continue to come home on weekends to study.
  • Jamrock411Jamrock411 Registered User Posts: 498 Member
    wis75 wrote:
    Poor, smothered kid. Looked up NKU- Northern Kentucky??? I wouldn't be surprised if her kid locks the bathroom door to prevent invasion from mom. "We" picked out ...U.

    The best thing for young adults is to leave home. Living on campus freshman year is the best for many, many reasons. Introverts need, and get their privacy. Hopefully this kid can blossom despite his parenting.

    The realities are significantly more college students commute to local colleges than live on campus. The average family cannot afford $10K+ for Room & Board. My son had a very bad "dorming" experience his freshman year and never quite recover. I commuted for 4-years (over an hour each way) and thoroughly enjoyed by 4-years at college and made tons of friends at this 100% commuter college. Frankly, I fail to see all these net positives of living in student dorms over commuting from home, especially for students who are very active in clubs and other activities on campus.
  • mommdcmommdc Registered User Posts: 10,949 Senior Member
    @Jamrock411, the option of commuting was not discussed by OP. I assume it is too far? Some schools require anyone over 30 miles away from school to dorm. Not sure what the requirement states for NKU. So if they live 33 miles away it could take 45 min depending on traffic one way. Maybe he doesn't drive, or they don't have an extra car. It all depends on the situation.
  • wis75wis75 Registered User Posts: 13,631 Senior Member
    edited October 2015
    OP- do not attack extroverts- they will not be attacking your kid. My introverted son had no problems doing his own thing, as do most introverts in our extroverted world. "Protecting" your son will not be in his best interest- he can protect himself (such as locking doors against parents).

    I do strongly believe the BEST option is to live on campus as a freshman. A lot of students have to settle for the next best option due to circumstances- life isn't fair. Those at commuter campuses miss out on an aspect of the college experience I wish everyone could have.

    I can't imagine having such a bad dorm experience a resilient young person can never recover from it- there are resident advisors and a whole system to help events from getting out of hand. A learning experience about other people.

    College is a learning experience far beyond the books and lectures. Commuters do miss out on aspects of campus life. It does not matter what percentage do this. A student also does not need to be active in organizations to benefit.

    The best college experience also includes not needing to be on an extreme budget or work during the school year. I did not have the best experience, but the money spent to be on campus was worth the costs- especially when considering commute times just across town. I also was lucky to be at a vibrant campus instead of a commuter one.

    When parents worry too much about their child living away from home that is a definite indicator the young adult needs to. btw- the college was chosen- surely the student body must have been considered as one to be associated with.
  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus Registered User Posts: 74,419 Senior Member
    Apparently, the OP lives just outside the frosh-housing-requirement-exemption zone of nearby counties from which students are assumed to commute from. It is not entirely clear whether OP's son will commute or live in off-campus housing if he does not live in a dorm.

    Hmmm, looking closely at the housing types, it does look like NKU has some suites and apartments with single rooms (within 3 or 4 bedroom suites or apartments):
    http://housing.nku.edu/content/housing/campuslivingoptions/woodcrest-apartments.html ($3,150 per semester)
    http://housing.nku.edu/content/housing/campuslivingoptions/university-suites.html ($3,125 per semester)

    Meal plans are $1,655 to $1,805 per semester. Prices for dorms and meal plans are in
    http://housing.nku.edu/content/dam/housing/docs/Apply Here/Terms and Conditions- Academic Year 2015-2016.pdf

    If the OP intends to have her son live in an off-campus apartment (as opposed to commuting from home), it may be worthwhile to see if he can get into the on-campus suites or apartments with the single rooms, and if the price is competitive. That may avoid the disadvantages of living in off-campus housing in frosh year (less connection with both the school and other students).
  • digmediadigmedia Registered User Posts: 3,331 Senior Member
    @JHS - Great post. Thanks.
  • rhandcorhandco Registered User Posts: 4,292 Senior Member
    I had a huge post ready.

    But I have to ask - if the family has enough money to pay for the "cubicle-sized room", and either have the son live at home and commute, or rent him an apartment that is "big enough", is there really an issue?

    Sign him up for the highest occupancy = cheapest room possible, and pay for his/your preference of having him live off-campus. They can make you pay for the room, but they can't make him live in it.

    (one part of the huge post was that a single doesn't mean that the student won't be subject to noise and over-socialization - happened to me as a freshman in a single, and now for my son as a freshman in a single)
  • SlackerMomMDSlackerMomMD Registered User Posts: 3,094 Senior Member
    So I guess I don't think it's crazy to want to live off campus, even during one's first year.

    I don't disagree with this assessment. I also agree that many people have terrible roommate experiences (I'm one) and introverts may have a greater need for solace. BUT I think the child has to discover himself his limits. *IF* he had lived for a month or two in a dorm and was suffering to the extent the OP imagines, I would agree he needed to switch. However, the OP isn't even giving her son the chance to "fail". People will argue why put her son in such an intolerable situation - but no one knows that it will be so intolerable. If she is so certain that her son is that anxiety-ridden around other people (she insists he is not), then there is a much more serious issue that needs to be addressed. In other words, for all the people who said they found that they hated the environment, did they know they would hate it? Did they think they would like it and only to find the opposite were true? How many people assume they would hate dorm life and end up liking it?

    My point is, we really don't know how the child will behave or react in any particular dorm situation. Maybe he ends up in a quiet dorm (there are such places); maybe he finds he actually can tolerate some noise on his own. Or maybe he makes the decision that second semester, he wants to change his living situation - move back home and rent an apartment the following year. Just give the child an opportunity to find out.
  • ClaremontMomClaremontMom Registered User Posts: 2,401 Senior Member
    ucbalumnus wrote:
    . It is not entirely clear whether OP's son will commute or live in off-campus housing if he does not live in a dorm.

    The OPs son wants to live in an off campus apartment with a roommate. And it's already been resolved, the kids are considered sophomores because of their credits. (Post #38)
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