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S not feeling safe with roommate

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Replies to: S not feeling safe with roommate

  • GraniteStateMomGraniteStateMom 355 replies11 threadsRegistered User Member
    I, too, am checking this thread frequently for updates. Sending good thoughts for all.
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  • sylvan8798sylvan8798 6647 replies140 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    OP, sometimes the big people have to step into these situations. I think in your situation I would call Campus Security myself just to make sure they were on top of this situation. If it were your S who was missing, what would you want others to do?
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  • brantlybrantly 3940 replies69 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I would call the parents. If your son has trouble with their accent, it doesn't matter. It's more important that they understand him. Or you can call. Or he can text.
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  • LizardlyLizardly 2506 replies11 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I would contact the parents, too. Maybe they have an idea where he might go.

    But maybe the school has contacted them? Not knowing that, I think I would contact them and ask if they have heard anything and express that you are concerned.

    It is very scary.
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  • lookingforwardlookingforward 34087 replies376 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    You're getting good advice to contact the right level of authority, to be sure. After that, the issue is your son and how he's managing. I want to add that he can lean on campus support to help him through this, whether it turns out dire or is just the first awful scare of his life. On many campuses, this isn't just mental support. It includes the chaplains, who are very in tune.
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  • MidWestMMidWestM 36 replies2 threadsRegistered User Junior Member
    edited October 2015
    This is so sad and scary. I think you and your son have done what you should do by notifying school authorities. It is important that your son (and you) not feel that he is responsible for this person’s problems. Of course you and he want to help, but at this point the authorities need to do their job. The only other thing I would consider is notifying the police, if you haven’t yet. I don’t trust that colleges are prepared to deal with these situations as well as they should be.

    My Ds friend had a roommate who attempted suicide. She knew the girl was having suicidal thoughts and notified the RA. The RA did not handle it well, basically put it back on the friend to watch over her. Totally wrong. The friend had to go to class and came back to find the girl in the room. I won't give the sad details. Luckily the friend found her in time. The school did a terrible job post suicide attempt also. Needless to say this was very very difficult for the friend even post suicide attempt and the university was extremely unhelpful to her. She was considering transferring to another school because of this.
    edited October 2015
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  • PeriwinklePeriwinkle 3403 replies105 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Call the police. Not only campus security, but the police. If he was last seen Tuesday, this is the fourth day.

    Your son (or you) should say, I wish to report my son's roommate missing. He was last seen Tuesday. His wallet, backpack and laptop are in the dorm room. He is not answering texts or calls to his cellphone. We do not know if he has any friends, and we are concerned about his wellbeing.
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  • austinmshauriaustinmshauri 8923 replies333 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I agree with calling the police. If the college had done so, it seems like there would be a missing person's bulletin notice like someone posted upthread. Is there? Had the young man been located, it seems like OP's son would have been told it's okay to go back to his room.
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  • CADREAMINCADREAMIN 5465 replies103 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited October 2015
    Thank goodness. Hopefully the parents understand a healthy and thriving kid is more important than one that is in the school and/or major of THEIR dreams. The pressure to carry the dreams and unfulfilled goals of the parent's is a burden that is too much weight to bear. And sad when people can't make their own path in life. Whew, great news indeed. Maybe the "disappearing" was his cry for help. Either way, glad it seems someone is listening. Good luck to your son, maybe he will have a single now and won't have to move. :) Glad this is over for him, that was too much burden on him as well! Happy Halloween!
    edited October 2015
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  • 1214mom1214mom 4545 replies180 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I am so happy to here things turned out OK.
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  • katliamomkatliamom 12807 replies167 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    ... and now I wish your son a happy, outgoing, caring and fun NEXT room mate!
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  • happy1happy1 22846 replies2248 threadsVerified Member Senior Member
    edited October 2015
    Thank you for the update. I am happy to hear it. Sounds like the best possible outcome for all concerned.
    edited October 2015
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  • SouthFloridaMom9SouthFloridaMom9 3416 replies30 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    So glad to read the update - thank you.
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  • mathmommathmom 32360 replies159 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Well thank heavens he's been found. It really did not sound like there would be a good ending here.
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