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Do you check your kids grade in college?

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Replies to: Do you check your kids grade in college?

  • WorryHurry411WorryHurry411 950 replies162 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,112 Senior Member
    I've helicoptering tendencies too and that's the reason I don't want access to their portal. I think after highschool they need to learn to balance it themselves, even if they make mistakes.
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  • CADREAMINCADREAMIN 5435 replies100 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 5,535 Senior Member
    Learned my student's college gpa after he graduated when we saw an online article that he had received a post graduate scholarship, seriously, before that, I truly never asked. "Doing fine" was all I needed to know. The most intrusive I get with any of my kids is to occasionally ask, "Grades going ok?" But I didn't check online in hs or middle school either, so certainly not going to do it in college. Trusted them and luckily it wasn't an issue. If one had struggled in hs or ms, maybe I would have then though - actually no since I never learned the login - I would have just asked them. I think believing and trusting in them to take care of their own business meant a lot to them, and that worked well in our house.
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  • NorthernMom61NorthernMom61 4087 replies29 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 4,116 Senior Member
    edited April 2016
    Our daughter shares this information with us. She is proud of her grades. I have used the parent portal to pay her bill twice. And after the first term when she was visiting our friends whose WiFi crashed, she asked me to go into the parent portal and check her grades for her because she couldn't and she wanted to know what they were after feeling insecure about a final. Every time I use the parent portal I have to figure out how to get in as I have only accessed those three times.
    edited April 2016
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  • ClaremontMomClaremontMom 2365 replies41 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 2,406 Senior Member
    I don't check their grades. I do get the casual update throughout the semester on how the last midterm went or a grade on a paper, so I have a general idea that things are going fine...but I couldn't tell you what their grades are. (In some cases, I don't think they know either, it seems some teachers don't really update much until the final grade.) And I hear about the final grades when they come out. Never been an issue since they are willing to share, but if it were I would probably insist on it like some of the other's on this thread for the same reason --- we are paying the bills.
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  • Tperry1982Tperry1982 1568 replies6 discussionsForum Champion Yale Posts: 1,574 Forum Champion
    As I read these answers you can tell those parents that have really good (or as good as they can be with an 18-21 year old) rapport with their child. It is good to see that most of us are not the Dr. Phil type parents that have out of control children who we have to pry and prod for everything. My D gives me updates about her grades when she wants. I usually know when she has a test cause she will mention that she is studying for this or that. But we also talk about the vegan menu in the school, the ESL class she is teaching, her step team competitions and all other manner of topics (and I mean the term "talk" in teen speak, most of it is via text). Grades are just another topic and I am glad that we have the type of relationship that makes this normal. I feel sorry for those parents who, based upon their relationship with their child before the went off to college, are now being shut out.

    When I went to college my parents never saw my grades. My dad told me that he was going to be sitting in the audience on May 22, 1982 at graduation and that I better be walking across the stage getting a diploma. He said how I got there was between me and the school, but he was sending his money and that was the only requirement. While I am not quite that hands-off, I let my child handle her business. That's the only way she will grow into a responsible adult.
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  • 3girls3cats3girls3cats 1987 replies6 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,993 Senior Member
    I do not check grades and I don't ask about them. She does share them with us along the way and I try to send a consistent message that the grades are not so important and that she should not stress over them. With a different child, I might feel differently. With this one, I worry more about her putting too much pressure on herself to be perfect.
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  • Tperry1982Tperry1982 1568 replies6 discussionsForum Champion Yale Posts: 1,574 Forum Champion
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