right arrow
Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04

Schools with "harsh" fraternity and/or sorority systems or those with disagreeable practices

123457

Replies to: Schools with "harsh" fraternity and/or sorority systems or those with disagreeable practices

  • STEM2017STEM2017 4027 replies94 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 4,121 Senior Member
    Question for the Greek experts. If a freshman decides not to rush, will there be another chance for him/her in sophomore year? I know every school is different, but what is typical?
    · Reply · Share
  • PizzagirlPizzagirl 40174 replies320 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 40,494 Senior Member
    Yes, but generally speaking it's harder to get in as a soph. Again the degree to which it's harder differs school by school.
    · Reply · Share
  • austinmshauriaustinmshauri 8549 replies314 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 8,863 Senior Member
    Pizzagirl wrote:
    It is a bad idea, and completely counterproductive, to say "well, I just want to attend events at houses 1,2,6 and 8 and skip the rest." Where would you have gotten the idea that you only care to meet the girls at 1,2,6 and 8? From the stereotype that they are the "hot houses"? Based off what?

    Thanks for the explanation. You and Zinhead have both been very helpful. I have nothing against fraternities or sororities in general. I thought they were part of one larger organization with a group of clubs for women and another set for men, sort of like 4-H, I guess. 4-H groups can create their local club around whatever interests they want as long as they follow national's guidelines. So individual chapters are only as good as the people running them. I thought Greek houses were like that.

    I actually didn't think about the popularity of the houses at all. I wouldn't know a popular sorority if I fell over it. I'm an introvert, so having to be "on" for 9 or 10 houses in a row would be a challenge. I picked houses based on how much of a mental break I'd have inbetween events. I assumed each would have a brief description of what sort of activities they sponsor, so girls who like outdoor events would ask to join a group that sponsors hikes, and girls who like to participate in service projects would ask to join a house that does a lot of that. But it doesn't sound like that's the way they work.

    It sounds like rush involves rounds of parties where everybody gets introduced to everyone else and each side is supposed to pick based on what felt like a fit. So the difference isn't in the activities they sponsor, it's just the individuals who make up the group? If that's the case, I'm not getting why rush is so difficult. Are there so few spots that girls who pick based on where they felt comfortable won't get a bid, or is it that a lot of girls want spots at the same few houses?
    · Reply · Share
  • PizzagirlPizzagirl 40174 replies320 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 40,494 Senior Member
    "I assumed each would have a brief description of what sort of activities they sponsor, so girls who like outdoor events would ask to join a group that sponsors hikes, and girls who like to participate in service projects would ask to join a house that does a lot of that. But it doesn't sound like that's the way they work."

    No. Because really, stripping it all away, on any given campus they pretty much do the same things. They hold mixers or exchanges with fraternities. They hold formals or other theme parties (barn dance, whatever). They do a philanthropy - each sorority has a national philanthropy (heart, blindness, etc). The makeup of these things may look different based on the campus (eg a campus near a big city might hold parties in a downtown hotel, which isn't accessible to a rural campus; a southern campus might have pool or lake based activities that are inaccessible for northern canpuses). It's the girls themselves who make the difference - but it's really not all that different. I hapoened to have gotten my first choice but I would have been equally happy with probably 8 of the 12 houses on my campus - I just would have made different friendships, that's all.
    · Reply · Share
  • PizzagirlPizzagirl 40174 replies320 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 40,494 Senior Member
    And this is why the "house 1s" could be jocks on one campus, bookworms on another, socialites on a third. Or they could be super strong at college A and really weak at college B. So that's why you don't want to go in thinking "I want to be a member of house 1" just because your mom or your best friend were. Glad this clears it up!
    · Reply · Share
  • PizzagirlPizzagirl 40174 replies320 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 40,494 Senior Member
    ... Which is why it is super frustrating on College Confidential that when the house 1s at College A do a bad thing or are portrayed a certain way, the houses 2-8 on the same campus get maligned, and/or the house 1s on other campuses. No one's condoning bad things, but it's just nowhere near as centralized as people seem to think. The bleach blonde bubbleheads at College A could be the brainiac chapter at College B. How would each of them know?? I have no clue what my house's reputation is elsewhere.
    · Reply · Share
  • millie210millie210 524 replies24 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 548 Member
    I read the first page of the thread and skipped right to the end, so I apologize if this question has been answered, but I'm hoping someone can explain something to me about all? most? many? some? sororities for which appearance is a factor in who gets accepted.

    My understanding is that sororities are at least nominally designed to promote friendship and community and that one of the big selling points of Greek life is friends for life. What do looks have to do with it?

    Over the course of my life the girls and the women I have known have varied in how pretty they are, how nice their figure is and how well they dress. And, of course, I can see the differences. But it's never been a factor in who I'm friends with. My friends are my friends because they're fun, interesting, smart, etc. I don't want to sleep with them; I want to hang out with them. This was true in high school, in college and as an adult.

    So I'm very curious to hear from people who belong to, want to belong to or generally support the idea of appearance being a factor in sorority rush. What on earth does appearance have to do with friendship?
    · Reply · Share
  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone 22092 replies14 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 22,106 Senior Member
    Appearance may not be all that important to some houses, other than a basic sense of good grooming.

    If you look at pictures of many houses, they aren't all just Barbie dolls. Tall, short, wild hair, lots or make up or none at all. Yes, many of the pictures used for recruiting show the most beautiful girls, but so do the photos the college uses on recruiting brochures. My daughter's photo has been used on several promotional pieces because she is smiley, beautiful, and a minority.
    · Reply · Share
  • PizzagirlPizzagirl 40174 replies320 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 40,494 Senior Member
    It will also reflect the prevailing fashions of the area of the country. Girls in the southeast tend to wear a lot of sundresses, Lilly, etc even to football games because that's simply the style there and the weather also lends itself to it. Girls up north are likely to wear less makeup and wear t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc and be more covered up - because cold and because that's the style. It doesn't "mean" anything other than regional differences in what is considered attractive.
    · Reply · Share
  • millie210millie210 524 replies24 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 548 Member
    So the moms who stay in town getting professional hair and make up done for their daughters (posts #3 and #6), the t-shirts in only small sizes so everyone's weight was apparent (#24) , the beautiful hair required for walking around campus (#32), the sorority that doesn't allow women to leave the house w/o make-up (#57), all these things are myths or lies and don't exist? Or the people putting serious time, money and effort into looks are wasting it all because no one cares? Is the prospective pledge thin enough, pretty enough, stylish enough are never concerns?

    Are there actually women on college campuses picking their friends based, at least in part, on appearance and being encouraged in this by parents and alumnae? And if so, why? It baffles me and I can't be the only person who would like to understand.

    Why would the mere fact that someone is overweight or doesn't like make-up mean they're not acceptable friend material?
    · Reply · Share
  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone 22092 replies14 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 22,106 Senior Member
    Of course they are sometimes concerns. There are 2500 women going through rush at Alabama, Georgia, FSU and some other schools. Are some of them going to be concerned with hair and make up? Yes. Are some of their mothers? Sure. Does that mean every girl on every campus cares about it to a high degree? Does that mean there aren't fat girls in sororities? Of course it doesnt.

    My daughter has a friend who rushed at FSU and the tshirt seems to fit her just fine, and she is a short, not thin girl. I'm guessing it was a medium. The idea of the tshirt is to have the PNMs look the same, so they don't worry so much about their clothing choices for the long days of parties. If they wanted to judge just based on clothing, why have the tshirts?

    If you look for problems, you will find them. Of course there are mean girls everywhere, even in sororities. Some are going to judge on looks only. There are 6000 women in sororities at Alabama. Some of them are not attractive. Some of them are fat. Some of them probably have horrible personalities. I think the system does a pretty good job of finding a place for each one.

    Do people not consider looks when hiring? When voting for candidates? When asking someone on a date? Someone posted above that they don't pick their friends by looks. Really? Just walk up to someone of any color, sex, age and say 'hey, let's be friends' even if that person smells or looks like she doesn't own a hairbrush? I don't believe it. First impressions matter. We tell our kids that all the time.
    · Reply · Share
  • deega123deega123 643 replies46 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 689 Member
    If a girl pledges to belong to a group for the rest of her life and then gets in and is annoyed by the fact that she can't leave the house in pajama pants or is horrified to find out the house is racist they have to accept some of the blame for putting themselves in the situation.

    It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of recruitment but there is no reason in this day and age to not know these things going in. Everyone on campus knows that XYZ is always made up when they leave they house. If you don't like it, you can choose to leave the group or you can try to change things. You aren't trapped in the situation.

    · Reply · Share
  • MidwestmomofboysMidwestmomofboys 3948 replies27 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 3,975 Senior Member
    @STEM2017 on your question about rushing as a sophomore, my experience is only from my kid at a midwest flagship, but fraternities on his campus do take sophomores. Most of the kids interested are freshman, but a few kids decide after freshman year that they would like to be part of greek life and so go through the process. His campus also has both fall and spring pledge classes, so a kid who doesn't do fall rush as a first semester freshman, can do second semester. The second semester pledge class is usually smaller than fall, just because most of the kids interested in greek life have already gone through it. I can't speak to sorority life at all though.
    · Reply · Share
This discussion has been closed.

Recent Activity