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Failed classes, no goals, and no future

confusedlostconfusedlost 0 replies1 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1 New Member
To start off I love my parents. They have always been there to push me when I lost sight of my goals. They have payed for my classes, they feed me, and they really don't ask for much in return. Now that that is out there, here is my problem. When I started college, everything happened at once. I learned how to drive and I got a job. This probably wouldn't have happened without the serious pushing by my parents. In my first year of college I failed four classes. Instead of telling my parents, like a normal person, I lied. At the time I justified it to myself and said that it was for their own good. My brother was in a really bad place right then and they really needed one good kid. Now I am in my second year of college and they want to see my transcripts. I have been doing better in my classes, but they still don't know about my bad grades in freshmen year. I really just don't know what to do. And to top it all off I have not a single clue about the direction I want to take my life. I need help but I don't want to disappoint them. What should I do?
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Replies to: Failed classes, no goals, and no future

  • Oregon2016Oregon2016 706 replies1 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 707 Member
    edited April 2016
    My parents never asked to see my transcript. Now that I'm a parent I have never asked my children to show me their transcripts. Therefore I assume that your parents probably know something isn't quite 'right' with your academic record. Best thing you can do is comply with their request and be prepared to present a five year plan for yourself. This isn't about your "life", this is about the next 5 years! Have it on a piece of paper with benchmarks you personally want to meet periodically. You wrote an intelligent post so you are not a dummy, and it sounds like you love your parents and they love you. Just think about the next 5 years and put it on a piece of paper- it shows maturity and that means so much to a parent.
    edited April 2016
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  • colorado_momcolorado_mom 8840 replies78 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 8,918 Senior Member
    I've had a kid that lied about class struggles (or even community colleges dropped... argh, forged a parents-only transcript). . It hurts. In fact, the lies probably hurt more than the actual facts. My suggestion is to come clean and say, "I am truly sorry. I just didn't know how to deliver such bad news when you had your hands full with brother's woes".

    Glad to hear you are doing better now - your parents will be too. You should perhaps find a way to propose paying them back for that first semester, after you graduate.
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  • katliamomkatliamom 12745 replies167 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 12,912 Senior Member
    My son lied to me about failing classes. Was I upset? Heck, yes! But you're in a better situation than my son since you're doing better now. My recommendation is to be very honest with your parents. Tell them you went through a hard time and your classes reflected it. Tell them you learned your lesson and have improved your study habits and are working hard. Show them the transcript. Be prepared for their disappointment, it's a normal reaction. They sound like good people who will come around to see -- and appreciate -- your improvement.

    As to not knowing what to major in.... surely you have some ideas? Some classes you like better than others? Areas you're better in than others? Talk to a school counselor about taking aptitude tests, or for guidance what you could do with the classes you like. If by the end of the school year you're still completely uncertain, consider taking some time off school. That's what my son did -- he got a full time job and spent a year thinking about -- stuff. It's been good for him, and he's got a much clearer picture of what he wants to do when he goes back next year. You might have a similar breakthrough.

    Just do yourself, and your parents a favor. Discuss your current uncertainty with them. They may have insights and advice. And if you decide to take time off school, be honest with them about it, and share your plans. If they see you've thought it through, and plan to work and then return to college, they may surprise you by being supportive.

    Hang in there - and good luck.
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  • mackinawmackinaw 2971 replies53 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 3,024 Senior Member
    I don't understand how a student who failed 4 classes in year 1 can be enrolled as a sophomore in year 2. But one way or another you need to come clean and with a plan. That should start with a conversation with your academic advisor.
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