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Racist comments from a male senior, what should we do?

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Replies to: Racist comments from a male senior, what should we do?

  • coolweathercoolweather 5878 replies82 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Unless the boy has a school discipline record or police criminal record or some concrete evidences, it's not easy to report to the college that he will attend. So far, the OP only has the info about the boy through her daughter. We don't have all details for judgement.
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  • saillakeeriesaillakeerie 2226 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Is husband here (and also to a degree daughter) making a bigger deal of this issue that probably should be in some type of defense of the wife/mother?
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  • kchenddskchendds 264 replies42 threadsRegistered User Member
    @saillakeerie yeah husband has always been very protective of his two females. Lucky enough daughter tells me everything before him and I get to filter most. This is a rare case that my husband got the first hand news. That's why I wanted to handle it in a reasonable manner before him.
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  • awcntdbawcntdb 3553 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    This makes me so furious. If this had happened 2 years ago and the kid had said "I think all foreign people should be deported, including you" We all would have been horrified and would have demanded discipline.

    Ah, no. Please speak fro yourself.

    I want people like this to speak loud and often, so they are known to all.

    (Emphasis added)
    edited May 2016
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  • awcntdbawcntdb 3553 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    ....how is high school not "the real world"? Why should a bully like that not be punished now, but wait for it later?

    Because for all practical purposes, a high school and workplace are controlled worlds, where there is no free speech as it exists in the real world.

    If someone says this to the OP's DD on the street or in line at a Starbucks, who will the DD complain to then for punishment? No one. There is a point where one has to learn that others can have some very bad ideas. However, that does not mean punishment for those bad ideas because they have a right to have and say things others consider bad.
    edited May 2016
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  • awcntdbawcntdb 3553 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    There is no "freedom not to be offended" but there IS at least the attempt to reduce hate speech and bigotry.

    And the definitions of hate speech and bigotry are defined by whom?

    And that is the problem today, there are people who think they are arbiters of such definitions. Yet, they have defined down "hate speech and bigotry" to include everything from wearing the hairstyle of another culture; to having the wrong sauce on a certain ethnic rice in the cafeteria; to having a functional border that stops people from entering one's country illegally; to asking someone where they are; and, to having ideas they disagree with - all of these have been called hate speech and bigoted.

    Therefore, anyone can charge hate speech and bigotry because supposedly only the offended gets to determine meaning, which is actually quite silly. At a certain point, it is like letting the inmates run the asylum.
    edited May 2016
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  • carolinamom2boyscarolinamom2boys 6895 replies223 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    @awcntdb People in asylums are patients, inmates are in prisons. World of difference.
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  • awcntdbawcntdb 3553 replies0 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    @awcntdb People in asylums are patients, inmates are in prisons. World of difference.

    Patients and inmates are people who define things the way they want and follow their own rules to convenience themselves and their objectives, no matter how irrational.

    At this point, the only thing separating patients and inmates from the people who define down terms to mean almost anything is the gates.
    edited May 2016
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  • CaliCashCaliCash 2759 replies69 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    FWIW: Social media is a great outlet to air a grievance like this one.
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  • Ruby789Ruby789 357 replies10 threadsRegistered User Member
    I haven't read all the posts, because then I wouldn't be able to finish and respond. I am very angry about this.

    I am going to echo Sue22. The main thing to do is for your daughter to tell everyone that he said this. Maybe she should call his parents and tell them even. Cockroaches and bullies like to operate in the dark. Make sure he feels the light of day for his remarks. If enough peers tell him, "Not cool, dude", he might think again next time he wants to say something like that to someone.
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  • bhs1978bhs1978 665 replies12 threadsRegistered User Member
    "When we teach our kids that insults and racist comments (and that's what this was) should just "roll off our backs" we teach them that it's ok. We teach them that it's ok for others to think that some are "less than"."

    You couldn't be further from the truth. Where did I or anyone else say it was OK. My children have been taught that racism and bigotry are not OK. They will stand up to any person saying such things. But they have also been taught that there are and always will be people in our society who are stupid and say ignorant things. They have been taught tolerance. Tolerance of ALL people. That includes those who don't necessarily think or have the same belief system that they do. You see, I have taught them not to have SELECTIVE tolerance. Some how you have twisted "not running to the authorities" into thinking that racism is OK and that some are "less than"

    My children don't think anyone is "less than" including the idiot who made stupid remarks.


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  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 12883 replies242 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    @awcntdb do not pretend that outside the school walls that such a thing cannot be said

    Pretty sure no one pretended that, or even said it. It was within the school walls that this occurred so it's school rules that were brought up.

    I think direct action was probably the best approach as well, and the OP's D already took that action. If it became a regular thing I would consider, as I suggested earlier, taking it to a school counselor or similar helpful authority figure, but if she can get some friends on board with shaming him over it IMO that's even better.
    edited May 2016
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