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Needing help

cloudsandsuncloudsandsun Registered User Posts: 1 New Member
Hi everyone
I am mother of student who goes to UC Davis. My son had a major emotional breakdown the first year We had to bring him home to stabilize him. It was a major crisis and very heavy on all of us. After 1 year of treatment he went back to school and he tried to get his momentum back. It has been very difficult for him since he can not maintain good grades. He is getting mostly cs. after major considerations we (the parents) think it is best for him to get out of uc system and transfer to other state universities in California. Of course he hates all of this. I need to talk to an expert about transferring, so maybe the conversation helps him make the right decision. Does anybody know any counselor that would be helpful to talk to or get some information about the process? Thanks so much

Replies to: Needing help

  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 9,252 Senior Member
    Has he been to see the counselors at the university? If not, I think that should be your first stop, as I am sure they know all about the CSU system and can help advise you about what will transfer over. I alos suggest your son visit a counselor at a nearby CSU. I assume you want him nearby? Apart from maybe some experts here on CC, I can think of,where you would get better advice than from the counselors at the colleges. Good luck.
  • GumbymomGumbymom Forum Champion UC Posts: 26,972 Forum Champion
    You and your son can look up which courses from UC Davis are transferable to any CSU by using assist.org.

    You select UC Davis from the drop down menu, then select the destination CSU from the drop down menu. You also select major. This will list the transferable courses. CSU's have slight different GE's for transfer so you need to make sure that the Golden Four GE courses are fulfilled.

    Completion of general education (GE) courses prior to transfer is usually the most efficient path to successfully transfer to the CSU. Completing general education classes should be a priority along with coursework that prepares you for your major. You can complete a maximum of 39 semester(58.5 quarter) units of CSU GE Breadth or 37 semester (55.5 quarter) units of IGETC before transferring to a CSU.

    Most CSU campuses require students to complete a minimum of 30 semester or 45 quarter units of the GE Breadth Requirement or the IGETC. Within either pattern, the highest-priority classes are the four basic skills courses that are required for admission.

    If you will have at least 60 semester or 90 quarter transferable units completed by the time you enter a CSU, you are considered an upper-division transfer applicant. To make admission decisions, CSU admissions offices look at three factors:

    Your college grades
    The college coursework you have completed, including the general education courses, specifically the four basic skills courses which are required for admission (Golden FourJ) : one course in English Composition, one course in oral communication, one course in critical thinking and one course in quantitative reasoning (math)
    Whether you are in good academic standing at the last college or university attended
    Your academic performance and, in some cases coursework completed at your current and prior colleges, will determine the likelihood of your meeting the admission requirements at your first-choice CSU campus.

    Please be aware that most CSU campuses do not admit lower-division transfer students.

    I am sure there are transfer advisors/counselors at UC Davis that can help you and your son with the transfer process. If not, do as @Lindagaf stated an visit your local CSU for more help.
  • CADREAMINCADREAMIN Registered User Posts: 5,456 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    I should ask, a lot of kids get many (if not all) Cs particularly if he is still adjusting - is he super stressed or enjoying it? Perhaps one more semester to prove himself, while staying at Davis but applying to transfer by Nov 30 deadline - covering him for 2017 if it doesn't work at Davis, and not losing a semester in time. Are you pulling the plug too quickly? That would keep him progressing without a gap or to stay in college he may have to go CC.

    Great info by above posters btw. The transfer deadline for CSU/UC is Nov 30, unless they have a special consideration for a student like your son? I am not aware of that if they do. So he would need to apply by then for fall 2017. Is CC an option to round out the necessary transfer courses, give him some home time, save some money, and let him re-calibrate?

    It sounds like he needs to know that not everyone fits and can succeed at every UC, and they are particularly stressful because of the struggles for things - big, impacted courses, majors, and resources - which can be harder for a struggling student. The CSU system has some great schools that could be wonderful options, but perhaps CC is place to start since, I don't believe, he can get in before fall 2017 (but I could totally be wrong there, if they have exceptions...). Good luck to you both!

  • MassmommMassmomm Registered User Posts: 3,893 Senior Member
    It sounds like his mental health is still not quite under control. If he had the grades to get into UC Davis, then he's not a C student. The fact that he's making Cs suggests his illness is still affecting him. I'd make sure he's stable for a few months before trying to transfer anywhere.
  • happy1happy1 Forum Champion Parents, Forum Champion Admissions Posts: 24,467 Forum Champion
    Sorry for your problems. I would talk to a professional and talk to your S before insisting on a transfer. Transferring would entail his being thrust into a new environment and feeling like he failed at his current school both of which may further destabilize things.
  • compmomcompmom Registered User Posts: 10,607 Senior Member
    Is he registered with the office for disabilities? He should be able to have some accommodations for his mental health issues (and sometimes for the meds). Extensions on papers, single room, reduced course load (this can be a big help) and others. is there any chance he can withdraw medically, from the university or even from any classes he is really bombing. This means lost work but cleans the slate (C's aren't that bad really, for a period of time).

    Also, does UC David have a continuing education office where he could continue at UCD part time, even one class at a time, for a period? He could work and go to school part time if that is helpful. Online classes?

    Some of us have been there....he can stay on the path but it might be a little different than the one he was on originally.

    Of course getting his health stable is a priority. College can happen several ways and on a schedule that works.
  • katliamomkatliamom Registered User Posts: 12,866 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    You say "of course, he hates all of this." What does that mean? He hates the idea of transferring? Or hates school in general? What does HE want to do?

    I think your priority right now should be his psychological health, not his grades. If he's getting Cs, he's passing, so it could be worse.

    Talk to him in a very calm, non-confrontational manner. Tell him you're proud of the progress he's made so far, and ask him about his "struggles" -- how does he feel being back? Does he want to stay? What are the reasons for his grades? (Don't be judgmental about the Cs, just try to find out how he feels about his performance.)

    Having gone though what you're dealing with -- my son suffered a nervous breakdown in his freshman year -- I would NOT recommend pushing him to transfer. Changing schools in itself is stressful, and it doesn't really address the fundamental issue of his wellbeing.

    If your son wants to remain at UCD, encourage him to sign up with the office of disabilities and take advantage of all support, tutoring, counseling etc., that is available to him. Maybe he could take a summer class or two to make next year easier. But don't push him. If he graduates with Cs, so be it. It's better than dropping out or having another melt-down.
  • mom2collegekidsmom2collegekids Forum Champion Financial Aid, Forum Champion Alabama Posts: 84,899 Forum Champion
    I was recently talking to a mom who went thru this last year. Her son insisted on returning to his school after a short treatment period...and he failed all of his classes. I'm saying this because he was "so certain" that he was ready to return...yet he wasn't.

    Did he finish any quarters at Davis?

    If this were my child, I would have him enroll in a local CC (if ready). I don't think he can just transfer into a CSU at this point.
  • lostaccountlostaccount Registered User Posts: 5,409 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    College age people with significant mental health issues have the greatest chance for a good outcome if they stay at home where they have supports, resources, familiarity with their surroundings and careful monitoring. Universities are not large psychiatric hospitals or mental health facilities. Roommates are not parents nor are they equipped to handle peers with significant problems. I disagree with the idea that staying in the same school is better than transferring to a local school if the mental health issues are not stabilized. I've never understood why parents of depressed or psychotic young people would support a residential college. People on this site suggest signing him up with the office of disabilities. That office is not equipped to handle a psychotic or severely depressed young person. I assume when you use the term "emotional breakdown" you mean a psychotic episode. If so, the young person should not be in a residential college.

    Schools are being swamped by young people who made it through high school with significant support from parents and others and are then dropped off at college..and are not equipped to cope with what they face. They should attend a local school where parents can keep an eye on them and ensure that they are doing things like taking medication, if prescribed, and functioning adequately.
  • compmomcompmom Registered User Posts: 10,607 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    I strongly disagree with lostaccount. Many young people who go through a mental health crisis with a new onset diagnosis at this age, can do well at a residential college. It is a civil right to function at the highest level possible for anyone with a disability, and accommodations can help tremendously with that, as can other supports at a college or university. I don't believe parents should limit opportunities based on medical or psychiatric health.

    That is not to say that medical leaves are not helpful or needed. I think a leave is appropriate when the kid clearly needs it, obviously, but also, from the school's point of view, when the student's needs pose an administrative or financial burden for the school, or the accommodations mean a substantial change to the academic program.

    There is a big difference between a student who can do very well with three classes instead of four, and a student who cannot get out of bed to go to class. With medication and therapy, many students with mental health issues can be in the first group. It may take time. And some may CHOOSE a different path, such as work with part-time school in a non-residential program such as community college or degree completion program or continuing ed.

    It is not appropriate for parents of students over 18 to supervise medication. And many students, not just those with mental health issues, should not just be "dropped off." A big piece of parenting a child with medical or psychiatric issues is indeed staying in touch, and much of that should be in person. With technology, support does not end with distance either.

    A parent should make sure accommodations are in place, can help set up supports like an advisor or tutor, can help or urge the student to connect with a psychiatrist or therapist in the area. And can be there for the child.

    We are talking illness here. And there are treatments. Would anyone suggest a student with diabetes (I have one) stay home?

    ps hoping he can stay at UC Davis, with whatever accommodations help and whatever time he spends on leave to get stabilized....
  • alooknacalooknac Registered User Posts: 1,296 Senior Member
    Well yes, some parents of children with disabilities do weigh the pros and cons of the student attending a local college vs. farther away residential college. Ditto for some students without official disabilities or illness but other concerns such as social immaturity, anxiety about going away, whatever. It is a legitimate consideration.

    Regardless of legalities, people do not all suddenly become mature independent adults on their 18th birthday. If parents are needed in a big way for support, distance from home is a legitimate concern, although I understood OP to be more concerned about academic pressure.

    Agree with earlier poster that the student's wishes are unclear and certainly need to factor into decision making.
  • compmomcompmom Registered User Posts: 10,607 Senior Member
    Of course. There are many paths for all of our kids based on personality, ability, maturity, and health issues if present. I wasn't objecting to the idea of going to school from home or going to an easier college, if that is what the student wants and it is really needed.

    I was objecting to the idea expressed above that all kids with mental health issues should stay home, that colleges are being "swamped" by these bothersome students with mental health issues and other problems that burden the schools, and that attendance then turns a college into a mental institution, stressing roommates and administration alike.

    I don't want to derail the thread, so will leave it at that.
  • mom2collegekidsmom2collegekids Forum Champion Financial Aid, Forum Champion Alabama Posts: 84,899 Forum Champion
    lostaccount used the words "significant mental health issues."

    If my college child was suddenly Dx'd with cancer, a serious health issue, I would want him going to school nearby for a variety of reason during treatment. I wouldn't want him thousands of miles away. There is much that I could do to assist him that a school could not, nor should.

    I agree that students with serious issues, whatever they are, will likely do better with family nearby for support, when needed. To expect that schools can take the place of concerned and supportive family members, is just naive.
  • MarianMarian Registered User Posts: 13,214 Senior Member
    Attending a nearby school also facilitates year-round access to the same health professionals, which can improve continuity of care -- an important issue for anyone with an ongoing physical or mental health problem.
  • compmomcompmom Registered User Posts: 10,607 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    "Staying at home" is different from attending nearby. And "significant mental health issues" can be treated. Harvard has many students with "significant mental health issues," believe me. It has not been turned into a psychiatric hospital. Medical leaves have a purpose. Some kids need to change their lives, others don't.

    Let's just leave this issue and agree to disagree. The original poster asked about transfer advice and I apologize for contributing to this tangent.
This discussion has been closed.