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To those parents who CAN afford tuition but who REFUSE to contribute a dime...

13

Replies to: To those parents who CAN afford tuition but who REFUSE to contribute a dime...

  • OldFashioned1OldFashioned1 Registered User Posts: 113 Junior Member
    I have friends and colleagues in two-income households pulling in $100k-150k and drive new leased cars, boat, RV, perhaps even a lake house and $0 in a college fund for their kids. Not saying they're rich, but they make too much to cry poor when college rolls around for their children. It's one thing if your kids are the 4.0, 98 percentile SAT, as they'll have full rides. But if they're not, you just expect them to go to the army? Very bizarre.
  • Sportsman88Sportsman88 Registered User Posts: 1,584 Senior Member
    But that's not what the linked article is about. It's about $60,000/year for law school. Leased cars are awful for most folks and that alone points to bad financial planning. If someone is leasing two cars with an RV and boat at $150,000 they are probably struggling with cash flow unless they are in one of the cheapest housing areas and/or not contributing to their own retirement any more than than kid's college.

    I think the parent's who refuse to contribute to kid's college when the ability is there is a small number and has nothing to do with seeking sugar daddies. If a parent sets a budget of $25,000/year, that's not the same as not providing full support to a child who chooses to go to a $60k school with a net price well over $25k.

    Thankfully I taught my kids to manage money so they understand budgets both for general expenses and college.
  • MarianMarian Registered User Posts: 13,220 Senior Member
    I noodled around whether to put our 3 kids through a similar ringer but in the end, decided to pay for their college education. They're expected to work summers and have a pt job after soph year.

    I think you made a sound decision. The cost of college has increased so drastically since we were students that a situation that was apparently a good learning experience for you might have been impossible for your kids.
  • prospect1prospect1 Registered User Posts: 1,432 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    I don't think the article is just about law school...or even grad school. It's about 2 million students seeking to avoid educational debt through prostitution. What led these 2 million students to seek such arrangements is probably the result of many different circumstances and varied scenarios. Hard to judge when not in their shoes. All I know is, as a parent, I'd sooner prostitute MYSELF than make my child feel the need to do so.

    On the other hand, I'm sure some of these students are doing this just for extra spending money, or adventure, or fits and giggles, or maybe even because they prefer this type of work to some other means of funding their education. I'm only saddened by the ones who are doing it because they feel they have no other choice.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 9,273 Senior Member
    Haven't read the whole thread, but I dislike this mentality of calling the woman a hooker and no mention of the sugar daddy being a victimizer, exploiter, immoral, corrupt, etc...
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 23,005 Senior Member
    Leased cars are awful for most folks and that alone points to bad financial planning.
    I actually do not agree with this. I have done some calculations and leasing is not a bad option. I do not understand why people jump to that conclusion.
  • Sportsman88Sportsman88 Registered User Posts: 1,584 Senior Member
    Leased car may be a decent option for some who drive a limited number of miles but that's not most people. It's also for those who accept that they will always have a monthly payment instead of vehicle that is paid in full. But debating this would surely derail the thread.

    My instistence in this thread is more that the OP took an article about a poor way to pay for education and in bold caps insulted it was the fault of parents who chose not to pay for their kids' education despite the means. That's quite a leap and I still expect that parents who fall in that category are a minority.
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 23,005 Senior Member
    There indeed has been many discussions about lease vs buy on CC, but I have found most people are not aware how leasing works because they never looked into it.
  • OldFashioned1OldFashioned1 Registered User Posts: 113 Junior Member
    edited May 2016
    @oldfort I'm not going to get into a leasing vs. buying debate, but if your children's college fund sits at $0 you shouldn't be driving two new cars, period. That was my point.

    @Sportsman88 I was just expanding on how some students are left holding the bag because of careless parents. For every hooker, there are probably 1,000 kids rotting at an under matched college or heading to the army because their parents left them $0 and didn't bother planning.

    If you don't plan to save a penny for their college, you better have conversations about the grades and SAT # they'll need to go to the local U or Alabama, etc. for free.
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 23,005 Senior Member
    ^^^LOL
  • BeeDAreBeeDAre Registered User Posts: 1,165 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    Am I the only one who thinks this is a much better alternative to being in disabling debt for decades?

    Fwiw, I find the whole idea of having a physically intimate relationship with someone, just so they will pay your college tuition, unsavory. But I also find eating meat, and believing prayer alone will heal sick people, as unsavory, and I don't think those should be illegal or anything, either. It's a matter of personal choice on how to live one's life. I personally wouldn't choose that route, but...

    Also, isn't requiring your fiancee to buy you a diamond engagement ring in order for you to marry him sort of along the same lines...?
    Some women request payment in diamonds and wedding bands, others request it in college tuition fees.
    (I'm being sarcastic, but not a lot.)
  • cobratcobrat Registered User Posts: 12,285 Senior Member
    There are financially well-off parents who don't prioritize their child's college education even if he/she got excellent grades and did all he/she was supposed to do to demonstrate they've reasonably earned the right to be supported in their college plans from the perspective of many parents.

    One family I knew of who was like this had no issues spending millions buying real estate properties, luxury cars, and more with cash while earning ginormous annual incomes even after taxes. They just prioritized spending on themselves rather than on their child's education despite the fact he graduated near the top of his public high school class.

    He ended up working his way through undergrad at another college and felt blindsided and confused about his parents' proclaimed love for him while refusing to provide him a dime for college expenses despite the fact their finances were doing swimmingly by all accounts.

    My impressions of his parents were worsened by meeting them in person...talk about being self-absorbed, snobby, and being exceedingly materialistic when it came to themselves while acting as effective cheapskates when it came to his educational needs. When this topic came up again in a subsequent conversation, I gave him my frank opinion that considering how much his parents prioritized his needs from childhood onward, he owes them nothing and should prioritize his needs over theirs from now on.
  • GMTplus7GMTplus7 Registered User Posts: 14,567 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    I'm struggling w the illogic of why, outside the confines of marriage, it's immoral to barter what consenting adults are morally & legally allowed to give away for free.

    Even married couples barter sex.

  • prospect1prospect1 Registered User Posts: 1,432 Senior Member
    Idk BeeDAre - I guess being a prostitute for a very limited period of time in possibly much safer circumstances than most prostitutes find themselves would be preferable -- to me -- over decades of debt. Thankfully, I never had to make that choice.

    But even better would be to have no debt and not have to do any such thing to get an education. I do place some blame on parents when kids find themselves taking desperate financial measures to stay in college. We are talking about decent students (or they wouldn't have gotten into college in the first place). If they find themselves facing mountains of debt, then they were not well advised or well prepared by the adults in their lives. As we know, there are usually alternative ways to pay for an education with proper planning and approach.

    Otoh, the ones who may be doing it for other reasons, or who possibly ignored the advice of their parents, or certainly the more savvy grad students, well I pass no judgment on whatever bargains they feel like making with their lives.
This discussion has been closed.