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To those parents who CAN afford tuition but who REFUSE to contribute a dime...

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Replies to: To those parents who CAN afford tuition but who REFUSE to contribute a dime...

  • oldfortoldfort 23475 replies308 threads Senior Member
    ^^^LOL
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  • BeeDAreBeeDAre 1156 replies12 threads Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    Am I the only one who thinks this is a much better alternative to being in disabling debt for decades?

    Fwiw, I find the whole idea of having a physically intimate relationship with someone, just so they will pay your college tuition, unsavory. But I also find eating meat, and believing prayer alone will heal sick people, as unsavory, and I don't think those should be illegal or anything, either. It's a matter of personal choice on how to live one's life. I personally wouldn't choose that route, but...

    Also, isn't requiring your fiancee to buy you a diamond engagement ring in order for you to marry him sort of along the same lines...?
    Some women request payment in diamonds and wedding bands, others request it in college tuition fees.
    (I'm being sarcastic, but not a lot.)
    edited May 2016
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  • cobratcobrat 12207 replies78 threads Senior Member
    There are financially well-off parents who don't prioritize their child's college education even if he/she got excellent grades and did all he/she was supposed to do to demonstrate they've reasonably earned the right to be supported in their college plans from the perspective of many parents.

    One family I knew of who was like this had no issues spending millions buying real estate properties, luxury cars, and more with cash while earning ginormous annual incomes even after taxes. They just prioritized spending on themselves rather than on their child's education despite the fact he graduated near the top of his public high school class.

    He ended up working his way through undergrad at another college and felt blindsided and confused about his parents' proclaimed love for him while refusing to provide him a dime for college expenses despite the fact their finances were doing swimmingly by all accounts.

    My impressions of his parents were worsened by meeting them in person...talk about being self-absorbed, snobby, and being exceedingly materialistic when it came to themselves while acting as effective cheapskates when it came to his educational needs. When this topic came up again in a subsequent conversation, I gave him my frank opinion that considering how much his parents prioritized his needs from childhood onward, he owes them nothing and should prioritize his needs over theirs from now on.
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  • GMTplus7GMTplus7 14268 replies297 threads Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    I'm struggling w the illogic of why, outside the confines of marriage, it's immoral to barter what consenting adults are morally & legally allowed to give away for free.

    Even married couples barter sex.

    edited May 2016
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  • prospect1prospect1 1391 replies41 threads Senior Member
    Idk BeeDAre - I guess being a prostitute for a very limited period of time in possibly much safer circumstances than most prostitutes find themselves would be preferable -- to me -- over decades of debt. Thankfully, I never had to make that choice.

    But even better would be to have no debt and not have to do any such thing to get an education. I do place some blame on parents when kids find themselves taking desperate financial measures to stay in college. We are talking about decent students (or they wouldn't have gotten into college in the first place). If they find themselves facing mountains of debt, then they were not well advised or well prepared by the adults in their lives. As we know, there are usually alternative ways to pay for an education with proper planning and approach.

    Otoh, the ones who may be doing it for other reasons, or who possibly ignored the advice of their parents, or certainly the more savvy grad students, well I pass no judgment on whatever bargains they feel like making with their lives.
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  • oldfortoldfort 23475 replies308 threads Senior Member
    @GMTplus7 -
    Even married couples barter sex.
    I am shocked.
    Also, isn't requiring your fiancee to buy you a diamond engagement ring in order for you to marry him sort of along the same lines...?
    And it better be a big one - that's my kid, and I am OK with it. Whatever makes her happy. :)
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  • prospect1prospect1 1391 replies41 threads Senior Member
    Lol @oldfort

    I think it comes down to whether the "negotiation" is one you are happy to engage in vs one you feel trapped into engaging in. A feeling of power vs a feeling of powerlessness.

    Probably most people "seeking arrangements" fall in the first category. It's those students trying to avoid huge debts I'm not as sure about...
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  • BeeDAreBeeDAre 1156 replies12 threads Senior Member
    I don't blame parents for causing their daughters to find"sugar daddies" or to take a stripping job..
    I blame the system that has allowed such expensive college tuition, that it's almost impossible to fund their own education with more mainstream jobs that young people traditionally held to help pay for college.

    Otoh, the young women in the article are going to very expensive universities. They could have gone to cheaper, less prestigious schools. But if they want a degree from a prestigious university, and they're willing to sell their "companionship" (and maybe more) for it...
    Yes, thank goodness, I've never been in this position, either, but I've also never put myself in this position. And even if I had, I think it would be much less painful than being up to my eyeballs in debt. In short, I understand their decision to do this, unsavory, again, as it may be.

    As for blaming the parents... Many students may get bad advice, or none at all, from their parents, for a variety of reasons. They may not have went to college themselves, or they went to state schools. Many just don't realize there are many places with merit scholarships or other tuition discount options.
    Many haven't saved enough because they failed to research how expensive college has become. Yes, I suppose we can blame them for it, but I also understand how someone would never imagine that tuition, as well as room and board, have gone up so dramatically in just one generation.

    College tuition, even in-state tuition at the cheapest state schools, has, imho, just become too expensive for too many families.
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