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Daughter lost her scholarship

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Replies to: Daughter lost her scholarship

  • bodanglesbodangles Registered User Posts: 9,185 Senior Member
    Somehow the daughter had the smarts and common sense to complete her first three semesters of college without a problem before bombing out.
    One semester. Freshman with a load of AP credits.
  • WISdad23WISdad23 Registered User Posts: 942 Member
    @intparent like I said, everyone is just giving advice, maybe based on personal experience, I don't know. But if you sum up the advice it is as I described.

    Of course the root cause of the problem could be almost anything in human experience but fishing for zebras instead of dealing with the obvious first is more neurotic than systematic.

  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 Registered User Posts: 12,619 Senior Member
    @WISdad23 Somehow the daughter had the smarts and common sense to complete her first three semesters of college without a problem before bombing out.

    One successful semester actually.
  • WISdad23WISdad23 Registered User Posts: 942 Member
    Yes, I read that wrong. One semester with no problems and then one semester of bombing out.
  • 1or2Musicians1or2Musicians Registered User Posts: 1,365 Senior Member
    But she had the executive function abilities to get a boyfriend, y'all.
  • bodanglesbodangles Registered User Posts: 9,185 Senior Member
    edited June 2016
    But she had the executive function abilities to get a boyfriend, y'all.
    ...What? Are people with ADHD and the like somehow unable to date?

    Edit: I understand the sarcasm now, sorry. Thanks for explaining (#112)
  • 1or2Musicians1or2Musicians Registered User Posts: 1,365 Senior Member
    To be clear, I was referring to post 103 which mentioned executive function and having a BF. I thought that was a pretty odd thing to say. I'm not aware that boys in their late teens are particularly looking for executive function in a romantic partner.
  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 36,882 Senior Member
    The OP came out and asked a question -- "What do you think is reasonable?" in their first post. The answer is, "it depends". And the rest of the posts are discussing what it depends on. Which seems reasonable -- and maybe helps the OP think about what questions to ask and how to get to the bottom of the cause of the issues.
  • albert69albert69 Registered User Posts: 3,247 Senior Member
    Please calm down, everyone. Please. :[email protected]
  • Nrdsb4Nrdsb4 Registered User Posts: 16,771 Senior Member
    edited June 2016
    Not necessarily. For some individual students and certain educational environments, being in a romantic relationship of some kind can be a huge distraction which could detract from academics and fully experiencing college life. This is a reason why some parents/families discourage dating in HS and sometimes even during undergrad.

    Also, while I did date a bit during undergrad, I found balancing work and social life...including romantic relationships much easier once I entered the working world than during undergrad or moreso...in HS*.

    That's just so individual. I had a boyfriend all through high school and most of college. I made good grades and held a job all through my college years as well. Got my second degree while married with a toddler, then had another baby, all while working. So having a BF may have been a major distraction, or perhaps the only stable thing in her life. We just don't have enough information to know.
    I can see some parents having a different reaction to the kid losing a scholarship because she earned a 3.4 but needed a 3.5 to keep the scholarship, versus getting D and F grades, whether or not there was a scholarship to lose. In the former case, some may be willing to continue funding college, though at a lower cost one if the scholarship loss makes that one too expensive. In the latter case, the willingness to continue funding is likely to be lower.
    Some parents, but not all.

    Did you miss the part in the post you quoted where they actually said "some" and not "all"?
  • MarianMarian Registered User Posts: 13,218 Senior Member
    edited June 2016
    The OP's daughter seems to realize that she is not returning to her college -- which is hours away from home. If her boyfriend attends that college, that means that it's going to become difficult for her to see him much. But the OP hasn't mentioned her daughter being upset about this.

    I wonder whether she had a relationship and it ended near the time of final exams. If she and her boyfriend broke up then, she might have been very distracted -- to the point where it had a devastating effect on her grades.
  • Nrdsb4Nrdsb4 Registered User Posts: 16,771 Senior Member
    edited June 2016
    I wonder whether she had a relationship and it ended near the time of final exams. If she and her boyfriend broke up then, she might have been very distracted -- to the point where it had a devastating effect on her grades.

    Certainly possible. D2 has a boyfriend, and he is a supportive, caring presence in her life. Her grades improved markedly after they began dating. She was having a lot of drama in her life before he entered the picture, and things really settled down after they started dating. She just graduated Magna cum laude.

    DH and I were talking the other day about how D2 and her bf will be in different cities while she attends grad school. Who knows how they will weather the separation, and DH said he hoped she would be able to handle a breakup if it happened, both emotionally and academically. I think breakups can be every bit as distracting, if not more, than happy relationships.
  • mom2collegekidsmom2collegekids Forum Champion Financial Aid, Forum Champion Alabama Posts: 84,900 Forum Champion
    It would seem odd if the DD didn't mention a break-up, if that was the cause. Seems like an easily believable excuse, "Mom, I was doing very well until Tom and I broke up. After than, I couldn't concentrate or study."


    Has the mom come back? I think she was venting because she was really depending on that "free ride" to cover college costs. Understandably she is mad and upset, but unless the award can be appealed, it's now water under the bridge and Plan B needs to happen.
  • OldFashioned1OldFashioned1 Registered User Posts: 113 Junior Member
    Plan B indeed.
This discussion has been closed.