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Daughter lost her scholarship

4all4girls4all4girls Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
My daughter is 18, completed her first year of college. She's smart, but truly lacks common sense. We've known this for many years. She doesn't seem to understand simple things that even her sisters 12,11, & 7 understand. She chose to go to a college that offered her a full ride, plus a stipend which is 5 hours away. We were only responsible for snacks and dorm supplies.
We text or talk daily.
First semester went ok, second semester, she did horrible. Like Ds and Fs only. Her answer is I don't know what happened, I had headaches and my back hurt! She went to dr. on campus a total of 5 times. Well, she's lost her scholarship and I'm not only disappointed, but I don't think it's fair to help "fund" her education because she had the scholarship and wasted it. I don't want to waste my money either! They will allow her to come back to school, but she can't get loans and has no way to pay for it. Whst do you think is reasonable? I'm so mad at her I can't even stand to see her coming.
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Replies to: Daughter lost her scholarship

  • lostaccountlostaccount Registered User Posts: 5,409 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    If I were in your shoes I'b be more concerned about what happened and I'd me worried that my kid had some serious problems. If you said she was in a very rigorous engineering school and so she tanked in very difficult classes that would be re-assuring. I'm not getting that sense from your post. What do you think happened? I'd want to figure that out with her first before deciding how to proceed and "I don't know" would not cut it with me.
  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone Registered User Posts: 21,825 Senior Member
    She should find out her options for getting the scholarship reinstated. If she retakes the courses at a community college, will they let her replace the grades? Is there any way to get the scholarship back? If not, that school is no longer affordable. My kids are in that situation and they know they can't go to the current schools if they don't keep the scholarships, eligibility for federal loans and grants. It's just the reality.

    You need to let your daughter lead the discussion. What does she want to do? What does she think is the problem?
  • albert69albert69 Registered User Posts: 3,247 Senior Member
    It's going to be a rough time for your daughter and yourself. One thing though - comparing your children gains you nothing. They might have all been raised in the same environment, but they are all different people. Some of them may make more sense to you, true. But comparing them doesn't really help anything.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 9,252 Senior Member
    Agree about com college. It took me three years of wasting time at CC before I was ready to get serious about college. Thank goodness I didn't waste my parent's money by going right into a university. I wasn't ready, sounds like she isn't either. And you know her best, it sounds like really has made a mess of things by being irresponsible. I too was irresponsible, plain and simple. I knew it, and I bet your D does too, whihc is why she hasn't come up with a better reason.
  • GMTplus7GMTplus7 Registered User Posts: 14,567 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    First, you need to find out whether the issue was due to some type of disability or due to partying./gaming/slacking

    A niece and a nephew of mine, 10 years apart, each lost her/his merit scholarship freshman year due to partying. Both sets of parents completely pulled the educational funding plug.

    The niece moved in w the mom and got a job and took college courses part time. Despite still not haven't earned her bachelors degree at 40, she's managed to move herself up the career ladder by being smart & determined.

    The nephew joind the Army and ended up deplying to Afghanistan. He returned to school on the GI Bill and is serious now.


    Both the niece & the nephew say losing their merit scholarships was one of the best things that happened to them. It was The Big Wake Up Call.


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