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Parent Advice - Grad School LOR Thank Yous

Fish125Fish125 Registered User Posts: 233 Junior Member
edited January 2017 in Parents Forum
One of my kids asked me a question, and I have no idea what to suggest. I thought I'd post it here instead of the Grad School board because this board seems to always know the right things to do. My child is applying to grad school. His professors have been incredibly generous in writing letters of recommendation for him, and he would like to thank them appropriately. He's writing thank you letters to them, but is there a gift he should include or would the letter be enough? These professors have been cheering him on for quite some time, and one in particular is a mentor to him. I didn't go to grad school so I don't know what is appropriate outside of a letter. I saw a thread where someone said their child was baking something for their professors as a thank you. Trust me, no one wants this kid to bake anything to show appreciation, but these professors have put so much time and energy into his application process that he doesn't want to offend them by under-thanking them (if that makes sense). Thank you so much for any guidance!

Replies to: Parent Advice - Grad School LOR Thank Yous

  • mommdcmommdc Registered User Posts: 10,604 Senior Member
    edited January 2017
    I think a thank you card or email would be fine.
  • auntiekauntiek Registered User Posts: 174 Junior Member
    My S gave the teachers who recommended him each a baseball cap with his college name on it. Whatever you decide, it shouldn't be anything big -- recommendations are a part of their job. I do think a little something (chocolates, a candle, a small plant) is nice, though!
  • MidwestmomofboysMidwestmomofboys Registered User Posts: 3,666 Senior Member
    Profs expect to write grad school recs -- a handwritten thank you note is always appreciated, but more than that can be awkward.

  • Tperry1982Tperry1982 Forum Champion Yale Posts: 1,574 Forum Champion
    Maybe a nice giftcard along with the handwritten note. A Starbucks card goes a long way!! One of my favorite gifts to get, especially from a non family member.
  • cobratcobrat Registered User Posts: 12,285 Senior Member
    Anything beyond a thank you email or a handwritten note is not only unnecessary, but could pose some awkward issues with some Profs.

    A few I've known would politely decline the gifts as they feel it violates their personal code of ethics in receiving unwarranted gifts for what they felt was merely doing their job.
  • MidwestmomofboysMidwestmomofboys Registered User Posts: 3,666 Senior Member
    Gift card is awkward. Just a handwritten thank you. We are an academic family and write many LORs. It gets weird if students -- undergrads or grad students -- do something more than that, because now the prof feels "indebted" for something that is part of our job so then feels obligated to reciprocate.

    Just write thank you, on stationary rather than email. And keep the professor updated with acceptances.
  • Fish125Fish125 Registered User Posts: 233 Junior Member
    Thank you all so much!!! Your advice is perfect (and my son sends a huge thank you, too!).
This discussion has been closed.