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Feeling a little disappointed by child's decision

jajsmomjajsmom Registered User Posts: 20 New Member
My daughter is trying to decide between two schools. UF and UWF. UF is a great school and I would love for my daughter to go there . She's starting to lean towards UWF and then transfer to UF her Junior year. UWF is close to home and she's a homebody.It's not a bad school, just not in the same league. I think she's afraid to break free and experience the true college experience. She may live on campus if going to UWF(much smaller campus), but may also commute. I don't want her to have anxiety over college, but I was just wishing my one daughter out of six kids would take full advantage of her opportunity to attend a highly rated college. It's her decision in the end. I just feel like I went wrong somewhere that's she's so scared. I feel if she transfers later on, it will be harder to adjust. Anyone else feeling this way with their child's decision?

Replies to: Feeling a little disappointed by child's decision

  • Gator88NEGator88NE Registered User Posts: 5,431 Senior Member
    No worries. :)

    Close to 1/3 of the undergraduates at UF are transfer students. They usually handle the transition well, being a bit more mature and more ready for the rigors of college. Some kids do need the extra year or two, before moving away from home.

    UF has over 1,000 clubs/student groups, it's easy to get sucked into a few groups and make friends, even as a transfer student. All she needs to do is get involved, once she transfers.

    My only concern would be with her major. It's hard to transfer into a few programs (a few of the engineering majors, Finance, BS in business administration, etc.). If she was interested in one of these majors, then she really would need to go to UF as a freshman. The same with getting involved with research (as a freshman). Otherwise, as long as she keeps her grades up, the transfer to UF should go smoothly.

    Good Luck!
  • SouthFloridaMom9SouthFloridaMom9 Registered User Posts: 3,316 Senior Member
    edited April 19
    We lived 5 minutes from FAU and our son could have gone there for free basically. We had similar discussions. We happened to sell our house and my husband can work from anywhere. So we moved to Gainesville! One difference from your situation is that H had more of an issue than my son. He dropped out of college and never lived on campus, and didn't understand why living on campus was a thing (something I pushed for for our son's sake). Our compromise is that we live close by. It has been great so far.

    The main sway toward UF, for us, was that it is superior for engineering (compared to FAU). But many, many times I wished that UF was located where FAU is.

    I have heard good things about UWF from a lifestyle standpoint. I would be more than fine with UWF if there is a major that suits your daughter and they have good support for it. And, as Gator 88 wisely mentions above, there are many transfer students at UF. Right here in Gainesville you have one of the best community colleges in the nation - Santa Fe.

    Wishing you luck - I sympathize with your angst!
  • DadTwoGirlsDadTwoGirls Registered User Posts: 2,839 Senior Member
    Have you visited UF?

    The student has to be comfortable wherever they go, and there is something to be said for having family near by if anything goes wrong (student gets the flu, breaks up with boyfriend,...).
  • Fishnlines29Fishnlines29 Registered User Posts: 1,538 Senior Member
    I also agree with Bopper - let her decide where she's most comfortable.
  • Muad_dibMuad_dib Registered User Posts: 572 Member
    People outside the state of Florida have to Google "UWF" to find out what it is.
  • jajsmomjajsmom Registered User Posts: 20 New Member
    Thank you all. Right now, she's going to either graduate 1st or 2nd in her class. She's does quite well. She's done dual enrollment, so it's possible she could have 60 college credits in a year and transfer elsewhere then if she feels comfortable. She wants to major in math and teach Algebra down the road. I know UWF only offers 3 math programs vs 9 at UF. She's not a real anxious person per se, but she knows we are here to help her if she needs it. I think she feels she may feel a little lost if going far away and I don't blame her. I came from MA where I had many college options within an hour or two from home. Here in the Pensacola area, you really don't have many options unless you travel away. She knows there are tutors and we are a phone call away, but 5 hrs driving distance. We did tour UF last month and she did like the campus. Like I said, I believe its a fear thing. She did get into the honors program at UWF, but not UF. Her brother is at UWF and currently trying to transfer to UF. Still waiting on a decision. I support her and know she will succeed anywhere she goes. It's just hard to have her not take advantage of an excellent school right off. Auburn is an option too, but even with her scholarship, it be still be pricey. Going to calculate costs at all the schools this weekend and have her make her final decision soon. As of yesterday, she's leaning towards UWF.
  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone Registered User Posts: 14,521 Senior Member
    I was pushing West Florida for my daughter. She didn't want UF or FSU, so we were looking at the other state schools for a safety. The beach, the sun, the Navy men - what more could a girl want? She found a different school but I still liked it. A co-worker has 5 sons and wanted to save money by sending them (or some of them) to North Florida, but North Florida has a requirement that ALL freshmen live on campus so there was no saving on room and board. That made her so angry that she wouldn't let them go to North Florida. Most went to FSU because they could live (together) off campus and she could save money, but at least one went to West Florida. They were all rather smart and at least one is in medical school, but I think it was an FSU kid.
  • NerdMom88NerdMom88 Registered User Posts: 775 Member
    My D17 is down to two schools -- one is a state flagship with a top ten ranking for her major, and the other is a smaller, much less known school that is respected in her major, but not known for anything else.

    There is a part of me that wants her to go with the flagship. What if she wants to change majors? Wouldn't she get better internships and co-ops? BUT, I also know that because of her autoimmune disease she will need to manage her stress, and I suspect that the lesser-known school would help with that.

    So yeah, I am torn and I understand. Trust your DC to know what's best for her right now.
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