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Were You the ONLY Parent Who Said No?

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Replies to: Were You the ONLY Parent Who Said No?

  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 6,928 Senior Member
    edited June 25
    With our nerdy, academic daughter, this rarely happened. But we have had several of these conversations with my son, and no, I don't regret it. If hubby or I said no, there was a very good reason. My usual response to "everyone else is" is usually "I don't care about anyone else. I care about you."
  • InigoMontoyaInigoMontoya Registered User Posts: 1,510 Senior Member
    No laptops, TVs, or gaming systems in bedrooms.
    No cell phones until starting at a high school that was 40 minutes away, and then only messaging phones until 18.
    No spending the night at a friend's house until I spoke with the parents first.
    No parties until I verified the presence of adult chaperones.
    No cell phones in the bedroom at night (all sit on a charger downstairs overnight).
    No trampoline (OK, on this one we were saying no to Grandma buying one for the kids).

    Middle school field trips, high school trips for xcountry, Model UN, senior trip to Disney, school sponsored trip to Europe - I was fine with those as I knew the chaperoning arrangements. I did find it entertaining that all the middle school parents freaked out when they found out their kids would not be allowed to take phones on the trip - they couldn't imagine how their child would survive without a phone, even though it was a ratio of 4 students to each adult. Didn't bother me since my kids didn't have phones in middle school!

    I was appreciative of the after-prom overnights since we lived so far away from school. But again, I knew the parents organizing the overnights would keep a watchful eye.

    That said, there were a lot of things I said "yes" to, including beach weekends and camping trips, that others might not have been OK with. Given my kids heavy involvement in scouting and outdoors activities, and the group of friends they went on these activities with, I was OK with their plans even though the groups were sometimes co-ed.
  • MaineLonghornMaineLonghorn Super Moderator Posts: 31,368 Super Moderator
    We told my son (the social one) that he couldn't go to a post-prom party where he admitted kids would be drinking. We told him we would have an alcohol-free party at our house. We gave him some money for refreshments and decoration, and he added about $200 of his own. A bunch of kids said they would come. Exactly ONE did. S heard that kids didn't want to come to the alcohol-free party. :( So I guess there were only two sets of parents who said no, or didn't ask any questions about what would happen at the party.
  • katliamomkatliamom Registered User Posts: 11,219 Senior Member
    I love your post @TheGreyKing

  • tonymomtonymom Registered User Posts: 994 Member
    My son's GF's mother wanted to, as grad gift, send both of them to socal theme parks and was going to get them a hotel room. I said NO. Not appropriate. I am under no illusions that my son and said GF aren't "active" but I can't wrap my mind around how it's ok to set them up in a hotel. My son understood why I said no and alternate arrangements were made for them to stay with a family friend.
    I've never understood parents who only want to be their kid's friend and not set limits.
    Yes it's difficult saying "no" and may be easier to just give in but nobody said parenting was easy....
  • stradmomstradmom Registered User Posts: 4,659 Senior Member
    Our kids used to be mortified when DH or I would walk them to the door of a party and introduce ourselves to the parents if we didn't already know them.

    Or when we picked them up at 1 AM, allowing them to attend the coed party but not the coed sleepover.

    And then there was the time my first grader was the "only" kid in the class not to have been to see Titanic at the movie theater.
  • b1ggreencab1ggreenca Registered User Posts: 447 Member
    edited June 25
    These stories remind me that I probably owe my mother a pat on the back. Growing up I had a friend whose parents would never say no, but they always told my friend that she could do whatever it was as long as I could do it. Counting on the fact that my parents would say no! In other words, my friend's parents copped out and let my parents be the bad guys, which was really not fair! My friend grew up thinking her parents were cool and would allow her to do all sorts of things, and that my parents were the stick-in-the-muds who spoiled all our fun!
  • LizardlyLizardly Registered User Posts: 2,229 Senior Member
    Yes, I was one who said no.

    My kids were the last to get video games, the last to watch certain shows/movies, the last to get cell phones. They weren't allowed to go to certain houses or parties where I knew the supervision would be lacking. Younger son in particular would tell me how everyone was doing it. We laugh about it now.

    On the other hand, I have said yes to travel and to trying new sports, classes, and activities.
  • SuburbMomSuburbMom Registered User Posts: 257 Junior Member
    My rising 8th grader thinks I'm the most restrictive parent out there because I've said NO smart phone and NO makeup in 7th grade. I got her a flip TracPhone which is all she needs to call us to pick her up from some place. She won't even use it. The older two did just fine without smart phones in junior high. I see no reason why she needs one, especially since she has a history of losing things.
  • rosered55rosered55 Registered User Posts: 2,706 Senior Member
    edited June 25
    Oh, I thought of a few more: "no" to D2 riding with her friend and cousin on the friend's dad's private plane, piloted by the dad; "no" to D1 getting a horse; "please don't" when D2 asked what I thought about her doing a study abroad in India (I was concerned about the treatment of women there) or Russia (there were some major terrorism incidents there at the time). And best of all (LOL): the "yes" to a post-performance drama club party, hosted by the parents, director in attendance for part of the party, at which the parents allowed their college-age (but not yet 21) son to provide alcohol to all the underage students in attendance. The party was busted. But hey, the parents (a physician and a nurse) were there. Sigh.
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