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Am I creating a conflict that isn't necessary or is my point of view valid?

toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 619 Member
D is going to go to nursing school for a BSN. We live right outside Philadelphia. D wants to go 'away' to college which is understandable. All her siblings are going 'away' and really enjoying it and thriving. The nursing major and her GPA/ACT scores is making it more challenging (financial and academic fit - direct entry programs) as there are fewer of the right fit programs.

She was originally going to attend Rutgers Camden - it is a financial fit and an academic fit and the clinical opportunities are over the top fantastic. Her other 'fits' are in more remote locations - Buffalo, E. Stroudsburg PA, and a small college outside Pittsburgh- which does also have great clinical opportunities (but I think it may be way too religious) for example. I have encouraged her to keep considering Rutgers Camden because of those opportunities. She is seemingly determined to go 'away' for school.

But I am wondering if she gets a BSN, and does well, and she comes back to find a job near us -- will it matter that she went to school in Buffalo or whatever?? I know this may be best in the nursing forum but it tends to a tad slow. Am I making something out of nothing or not?


Replies to: Am I creating a conflict that isn't necessary or is my point of view valid?

  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 619 Member
    @DadTwoGirls I told her that about living on camput!! Somehow she isn't buying it. I know that Rutgers is top notch and honestly if she lives on campus it will cost ME a bit more than the other programs and her the same -- she will take GSLs no matter where she goes, hubby and I will pick up the rest.
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 63,509 Senior Member
    Once she has her BSN and passes her boards, it won't matter where she got her BSN.
  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 619 Member
    @shortnuke She is also going for the critical care type nursing -- she is already an EMT in our town and has attended a camp at Drexel University for aspiring medical students; she is likely to be sought after
  • traveler98traveler98 Registered User Posts: 842 Member
    @toomanyteens, has she already done an overnight visit at Rutgers? If not, maybe that could help her get a feel for what it would be like to live there, and she could see that it's not like living at home.

    Perhaps if you also told her you would plan to have visits similar to your other kids who went to school farther from home she might feel more comfortable knowing she'd have the same kind of independence that her siblings had. She might have an idea that you would drop in on her without warning or expect her to come home more often than her siblings did, and if you make it very clear that this won't be the case she might come around.
  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 619 Member
    @traveler98 We did do a tour including the dorms but didn't stay overnight. I already told her I have zero intention of dropping in and no expectations of her running home all the time but she is being very steadfast about it all.
  • austinmshauriaustinmshauri Registered User Posts: 5,821 Senior Member
    Living on campus is being away if she doesn't go home. However, it seems like your preference is that she stays somewhat local. Are the net costs of all the schools affordable? Did you let her siblings pick or did they take the least expensive option? I'd give her the same choices that you gave your other children.

    I don't think where she gets her degree matters. My sister got her nursing degree in Upstate NY a decade or so ago. She's a homeowner in a remote area so she has to travel to work. She signed up with an agency so she wouldn't have gaps between jobs, and they've found jobs all over the country for her. Nobody seems to care where she got her degree, just that she has one.
  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 619 Member
    edited September 12
    @austinmshauri my preference isn't about locality - it is about a good education and good clinical opportunities and the relationships that can lead to a job. The siblings didn't all take the least expensive option-- we weighed with each of them many factors including what they were studying and one of them in a college athlete so that was also a consideration-- AND Rutgers Camden is not the least expensive option for her either. None of them had carte blanche choices.
  • happy1happy1 Registered User Posts: 18,209 Senior Member
    If she does well in nursing school she should have plenty of opportunities in any state she is licensed to work in. There is a shortage of nurses. She should apply to the different schools and you can see how the acceptances and finances work out.

    FWIW my S went to college close to home and lived on campus and it worked out wonderfully well. Before he chose the school we had a long talk and we (parents) agreed to never "pop by", not to expect him to run home for minor things etc. and he (student) agreed to not using being close to home as a crutch or to be lazy (ex. no coming home to do wash etc.). A few times his being close was handy (ex. when his computer died I drove down with an old laptop he could use while his was being repaired etc.) But in general, we all held our end of the agreement and he had a wonderful and full life on campus.
  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 619 Member
    edited September 12
    @ordinarylives that is very helpful, I was thinking that maybe the people they meet in big hospitals may help them with jobs. I do know she won't go to school for a specialty just pointing out that is her interest. One of her top choices of school had a 95% pass rate in 2016-- also a 95% graduation rate from the beginning of sophomore year for the class of 2017 - that seems pretty positive.
  • ordinarylivesordinarylives Registered User Posts: 2,894 Senior Member
    @toomanyteens my daughter did have an offer from a hospital where she did her externship (not affiliated with her school) but chose to work at a level 1 where she'd never even had a clinical (just applied). Your student will not do a whole lot of interacting with the people who hire at the hospitals (unit managers). Students work under their clinical supervisor and with the floor nurses. As you've been hearing, it isn't really difficult for a BSN to get a job. I wouldn't let the possibility of meeting someone who could get her hired at a big hospital be the deciding factor in where she goes to school. Chances are, she can work where she wants.
  • compmomcompmom Registered User Posts: 8,234 Senior Member
    Also, it is of course very possible that she will not return to work in a hospital close to where you live.

    There are so many schools with nursing programs. How far "away" does she want to go?
  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 619 Member
    @compmom I know she may NOT come back to where we live, but even she knows there is a ton of opportunity here. She is also looking to go further to nurse anesthetist and several good programs are in Philadelphia. But yes you never know what path she will go.

    I am not sure how 'away' she wants to go LOL -- she is very interested in East Stroudsburg University right now; it is about 2.5 hours away from our home and she seems okay with that. So we will see!
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