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A 19-year-old Weston man who was a freshman at Lafayette College in Pennsylvania died Monday


Replies to: A 19-year-old Weston man who was a freshman at Lafayette College in Pennsylvania died Monday

  • pardulletpardullet Registered User Posts: 295 Junior Member
    Terribly sad. My D lost a friend her freshman year at Lafayette who was a freshman member of the fencing team. Day drinking, passed out/fell asleep on his back, choked on his own vomit, found unresponsive. This was 6 years ago and I believe this is the first since then. One is too many and two in 6 years at a school with only 2,400 kids is not good. M2L and preppedparent have it right about awareness. If any doubt, get help.
  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 838 Member
    @prepparent - something similar happened with my step daughters suite mates. One of the girls was so drunk and she was throwing up everywhere, the others got worried and called the RA. The RA of course called an ambulance and the girls parents found out etc. But yes, she is still alive to be mad.
  • happy1happy1 Forum Champion Parents, Forum Champion Admissions Posts: 20,702 Forum Champion
    edited September 2017
    IMO all colleges (certainly including Lafayette) should do a MUCH better job of educating incoming freshmen about drinking dangers -- maybe have a one day or half day in person program during orientation. I think colleges don't always discuss it head on because freshmen are officially underage -- but there is no getting around the fact that college students drink and freshmen are most apt to have an issue as they are the most inexperienced drinkers.

  • wisteria100wisteria100 Registered User Posts: 3,470 Senior Member
    This happened on a Sunday afternoon, so perhaps no alcohol was even involved
  • LucieTheLakieLucieTheLakie Registered User Posts: 3,959 Senior Member
    Not sure why its having been a Sunday afternoon would rule out alcohol use (mimosas, anyone?), but I saw no mention of aclohol in the article I read. Isn't it also possible he suffered a head injury from playing lacrosse or any number of possible health issues?

    Too soon to speculate, probably, but that's what humans do.
  • pardulletpardullet Registered User Posts: 295 Junior Member
    "A chain of events that started Saturday afternoon...." This was not an organized sports injury. This is speculating but
    several of the chains that led to his passing involved alcohol and/or drugs. Accidents are reported as such. Tragedies are treated with much more care and deliberation. "it will take about two weeks for the results of the toxicology report."
  • labegglabegg Registered User Posts: 2,456 Senior Member
    I think kids today are fully aware of the dangers/risks of alcohol/drug use. I will speculate that only the very sheltered/naive are not aware. I fully believe that they live in a world of " it will not happen to me" and while it is important to instill in our kids that watching out for your friends/peers is the right thing to do, the kids need to take ownership of their own actions too, we are quick to blame other kids for bad outcomes.

    This is a tragedy regardless of how or why it happened. My sympathies are with all it has touched.
  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 838 Member
    @doschicos I agree -- my daughter had a whole day of education on these types of things at orientation. I assure you I didn't have a minute when I went
  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 838 Member
    @northwesty we do the same -- we keep reminding them of the limits, moderation and the right things to do. It is scary for sure.
  • Much2learnMuch2learn Registered User Posts: 4,707 Senior Member
    edited September 2017
    "IMO all colleges (certainly including Lafayette) should do a MUCH better job of educating incoming freshmen about drinking dangers"

    We, as parents, need to talk to and educate our own students so they are prepared to make good decisions when it really matters. We know that most college students drink, why do we think it won't be our kid? The same sad story happens time and time again. Only the names change, but most parents continue to act surprised, think it couldn't be their kid, blame the other students who were there or blame the school. I guess that is easier than taking a long look in the mirror.

    Yes, students understand that drinking can be dangerous, but they don't have a clear understanding of how to assess a difficult situation and make a good decision in real time. We parents need to prepare our own student for these difficult situations. Especially when we know that we are sending them into the alcohol war zone that is college in America. Telling them that drinking is dangerous, and not to drink, is just not good enough. The odds are that they will anyway, and even if they don't drink, they may fail to make a good decision about a friend who is in trouble.

    How many parents talk to our kids about how to make a good decision about whether to call 911 or just let someone sleep it off when they are drunk? How many discussions have we had with our own student about how much more dangerous that situation is when alcohol is combined with a trauma/accident/fall? If we, their parents, don't know how to manage that situation, why why would we expect our kids, or someone else's kids, to know how to manage it? And how many kids are afraid to ask their parents those questions?

    Even worse, what percentage parents completely are confident that if their student has been drinking, and something bad happens to them or a friend, that their student will not hesitate to reach out to them, their parent, 24/7 for immediate guidance? Do they really know they can always count on you when the chips are down? If not, that is on us as parents.

    Our students should never be afraid that we'll be mad when they call, tell us the truth, and ask for help. That doesn't mean we approve of them drinking. I just means that some things are more important, and many of those decisions decide between life and death.
  • preppedparentpreppedparent Registered User Posts: 3,188 Senior Member
    One of our students' schools have all kids do an online education on alcohol prior to stepping foot on campus, but not sure that is sufficient. Alcohol, forbidden fruit is so much a part of college culture and as stated before freshmen with new found freedom are so much more vulnerable to that and peer pressure.
This discussion has been closed.