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Article: "The hardest test of freshman year? Survival."

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Replies to: Article: "The hardest test of freshman year? Survival."

  • MissAliceMissAlice Registered User Posts: 72 Junior Member
    edited October 19
    My twin dds, who are freshman, watched a lot of netflix in the first couple weeks. Now they have a routine of daytime napping, studying, eating, in their free time and socializing 3-4 times a week at night.
  • bhs1978bhs1978 Registered User Posts: 289 Junior Member
    As far as parent involvement with choosing classes. I actually play an active role in that department. I have a vested interest in my children graduating in 4 years. My husband and several nieces and nephews had very bad advisors and they ended up having to go an extra semester or two for that reason. I call myself advisor number 2.

    My children and I discuss the classes they will be needing. I help them narrow down their choices. They then go with the narrowed down list and meet with their advisor to finalize it. Last year my sons advisor told him he could take all gen eds the next semester. That's just not acceptable.
  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus Registered User Posts: 62,936 Senior Member
    edited October 21
    Frosh year is probably the highest risk year, since the student needs to adjust to college work (versus the much more supervised and monitored high school work).

    Students who face high college GPA minimums to continue merit scholarships or enter competitive admission majors may find frosh year particularly risky, since a rough transition to college may knock them out of their scholarships or majors with insufficient time to recover their GPAs, even if they are able to do well in subsequent semesters.

    Placement into college courses based on previously completed high school work may also cause issues for some. Some may be placed in too high level courses and struggle. Others may be placed in too low level courses and be tempted to pay too little attention to what should be "easy A" courses, ending up with significantly worse grades. Based on forum comments, it seems that there is a lot of guesswork here, rather than having the student try old final exams from the college to help determine placement.
  • tuscangaltuscangal Registered User Posts: 6 New Member
    We are facing a challenging problem that encapsulates both time management and finances. DS started Oregon State this fall. We live in Portland, about 90 minutes away. His closest friend is at U of O, about an hour or so further south. We chose a meal plan and I gave him minimal spending money (like $150), with the agreement that we would review finances after the first month to see if this aligns with what is needed.

    I gave him a credit card to use for college books and supplies plus any online class costs etc. Find out yesterday that he has been using the credit card to come to Portland with his friend from U of O, eating out (outside of school), visiting U of O etc. to the tune of $2,000 (!!!!) within the last four weeks. He's clearly not on campus a lot of the time and I feel like we are watching a failure to launch.

    Any ideas or suggestions? My take is he's not mature enough to manage himself. Maybe he should go to our local college, Portland State. His response has been completely lacking in remorse and I'm honestly worried that there is more going on than just crazy spending - mental health issues or drug addiction.

    Thoughts, advice?
  • MrRichardSmithMrRichardSmith Registered User Posts: 1 New Member
    Well for me. It's really depends on you on how to deal with the exam :) http://google.co.uk/
  • sbgal2011sbgal2011 Registered User Posts: 141 Junior Member
    @tuscangal I would first cancel the credit card. Then I would check his mid-term grades (if you can). If your son doesn't do well this semester, don't sent him back after Christmas break. Make him stay home, work, pay off the $2,000 he owes you. Then he can start thinking about going to your local college.

    I made it crystal clear to my son that college is not a four-year deal; rather, he is there on a semester-by-semester basis. If he royally screws up his first semester, he will not return the second semester. I'm not paying thousands of dollars for him to "figure it out". He can do that at the local community college for a fraction of the price.
  • elena13elena13 Registered User Posts: 188 Junior Member
    @tuscangal I agree that he should not be allowed to stay at school if he does very poorly grade-wise this semester. I would also encourage him to send you his grades up to this point. If he has that much free time that he can be gone partying (or whatever) on the weekends, then he can get a part-time job to repay some of the $2000 and cover his own spending money from this point forward.It sounds like going to the local college could be a good option, along with a part-time job if he does not change his behavior soon.
  • daughtersdreamsdaughtersdreams Registered User Posts: 365 Member
    @tuscangal I think that the other replies are spot on. If you want your son be accountable, you have to hold him accountable. If he says you never made it clear what he was allowed to use the card for, then make it clear it now so there will no further chance of 'misunderstanding." Better yet, get him a pre-paid visa for a certain amount and let him know exactly what it is for and that it will only be reloaded if his GPA is acceptable.

    If you are really concerned about his mental health, most colleges have counselling services for free or low cost to students. You can't make him go, but you can motivate him by making his mom-funded expense account contingent on his seeking counseling.
  • rickle1rickle1 Registered User Posts: 90 Junior Member
    Regarding the too much time on your hands issue- I recommend getting on a schedule and treating it like a job. Think about it. They were in high school from 7:30 - 2:30, then sports or whatever til 5 or 6, 5 days a week. If they develop the self discipline, they could be getting hours of studying / reading done before dinner all week long. On most days, there's probably a good 3 to 4 hours before clubs and intramural sports kick in. They could take care of studying, go to dinner with friends, go to their activities with friends, do a couple more hours of studying and still be able to hang out in the dorm with friends for a few hours before bed. That's 5 or 6 hours of studying without missing any social activities or hanging out with friends. What's been replaced is tv, driving back and forth, etc.

    Also, come midterms and finals, they'll have much less stress and no all nighters as they've been doing the work all along. That kind of schedule got me through college in the 80s. Worked my tail off but never missed a moment of fun!
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