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Co-ed bathroom in dorms - am I crazy and how can I find out details from schools on our list?

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Replies to: Co-ed bathroom in dorms - am I crazy and how can I find out details from schools on our list?

  • yourmommayourmomma 1323 replies1 threads Senior Member
    Why, @yourmomma? Presumably one would wear a robe to the shower. What exactly is the concern?

    Well to start, men and women are different. And guys are gross. And, "presumably" one would wear a robe. I know guys that would presumably take the opportunity to "flaunt it." I guess I just don't see the point in mixing the sexes in basically a public bathroom.
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  • yourmommayourmomma 1323 replies1 threads Senior Member
    The only adjustment is that you couldn't walk out of the shower stall buck naked - you learned to grab your towel or robe and put it around you before you walked out.

    That wouldn't have stopped some of my friends back in the day. :)
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  • YnotgoYnotgo 3881 replies58 threads Senior Member
    edited January 2018
    @carbmom I think it should be up to your daughter about whether the bathroom situation at MIT is a big enough deal to be an issue for her. If needed, she should be the one to contact MIT housing and/or talk on whatever accepted student's group there is on Facebook or whatever.

    At home, both my sons always lock the bathroom door and change in there before and after showers. No walking around the house in a robe for them. (It's a tiny bathroom; no room for 2 people.) But, my son at college hasn't said anything about the co-ed, multi-user restrooms in his house at Caltech being an issue for him.

    I initially thought the co-ed restroom thing was kinda suspect, mainly because in my experience males don't keep restrooms as neat as I'd like, and my college dorm has a restroom in each 2-person room. But, it seems to work, and I wasn't going to voice issues like that over his choice of college. They have staff who clean the restrooms, which helps.

    He does say he showers either late at night or early in the morning to avoid the before-class traffic jam. Not many early birds in his house, at least.

    MIT has a wider variety of dorm setups than Caltech, so she may be able to get into housing that better meets her wants if she is as resistant to co-ed restrooms as you. But, her thoughts are the important ones.
    edited January 2018
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  • Sue22Sue22 6928 replies121 threads Super Moderator
    are your bathrooms sex segregated at home?

    We have this neat new invention called a door. When you enter the bathroom, you can close it and do your thing in privacy. And we do respect our privacy. There is no multitasking.
    Other than brushing your teeth or putting on makeup side by side everything else will be behind a door as well. No one's changing in front of each other.

    I don't mean to suggest that there's anything wrong with a kid being uncomfortable with coed bathrooms. I had a college roommate who never changed in from of me. Two years rooming together and I never saw her naked, although she seemed fine with the coed bathrooms. Different strokes for different folks. My posts are only meant to reassure nervous parents that if their kids choose to attend schools where some or all of the bathrooms are coed they will be just fine.
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  • citivascitivas 655 replies20 threads Member
    @doschicos Of our three kids, my eldest son is by far the most clean, neat, orderly. My daughter by far the most messy. His bathroom is always spotless. Her's is a mess.
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  • YnotgoYnotgo 3881 replies58 threads Senior Member
    @doschicos I'm sorry if I came across as bashing. My experience is not with my sons, who are mostly tidy. It's 30-years-old experience visiting male-only dorms at Texas A&M. In retrospect, there's a number of angles from which to bash that experience, many of which are not because the students in that dorm were male.
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  • SC AnteaterSC Anteater 354 replies17 threads Member
    I don't really think a parent should get involved in this decision. If the kid has a preference for one or the other that's one thing, but I don't think a parent should weigh in. Let the kid figure it out.
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  • doschicosdoschicos 26932 replies270 threads Senior Member
    My post wasn't directed at your comment, @ynotgo. :) Other comments were more blunt and there seems to be a theme on this thread that guys are dirty and females aren't which doesn't correspond with my own experience nor that of my kids who have lived in group settings for many years.
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  • blossomblossom 10551 replies9 threads Senior Member
    My husband grew up in a home where "daily" cleaning of the bathroom involved gloves, bleach, scrubbing brushes, ammonia (for the mirror) and emptying the trash. I grew up in a home where that constituted deep, once a week cleaning and if you just wiped a paper towel across the sink one week you just chalked it up to being busy, not being a slob. And you emptied the trash can when it was overflowing. No mystery as to who keeps a neater bathroom.

    My sons learned from their father.
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  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 13238 replies247 threads Senior Member
    @yourmomma I know guys that would presumably take the opportunity to "flaunt it."

    They can do that walking down the coed hall from their men-only bathroom too.
    guys are gross

    Unless it is in a private suite, any shared bathroom is going to be cleaned by professional staff.
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  • SwimmingDadSwimmingDad 942 replies11 threads Member
    Whether a co-ed bathroom works for a child or not is really kid specific. That said, it should be up to the child to call the university to inquire. If they care enough, they will make the call. My son goes to a school with co-ed bathrooms...given how the dorm is architected from the 1960s (when it was single sex) no other set up makes any sense. Kids that want single sex bathrooms choose other dorms that offer those.
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  • scubadivescubadive 1091 replies3 threads Senior Member
    When I went off to college a few decades ago I was shocked to find only a coed bathroom on my floor. I was very modest and not pleased. After a week it was no big deal and actually it was more modest than single sex floors.
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  • yourmommayourmomma 1323 replies1 threads Senior Member
    So here's the funny thing: you have guesses about what a coed bathroom would be like, and other posters and their children have 40+ years of real-life observation. Based on the evidence, young men "flaunting it" in coed bathrooms seems to be virtually unheard of, and is only speculated about by people who haven't been there.

    Ok so here are 5 moments of awkwardness I have researched from people who experienced it:
    1) Guys having a conversation while sitting on the john doing no. 2.
    2) Stubble in the sink.
    3) Realizing there is more than one person in the shower.
    4) Girl doing no 1 with a guy in the bathroom.
    5) Guys doing no 1 with the door open.


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  • yourmommayourmomma 1323 replies1 threads Senior Member
    Someone was concerned with guys flaunting it. You don’t have to have a co-ed bathroom for that to happen. Sophomore year, I lived in a co-ed house with 7 people. At the beginning of the year, one of the guys would walk around the house in his briefs. In fact, don’t think it was about flaunting it. I think he was comfortable like that and figured the rest of us would be, too. In any case, the women in the house didn’t like it, so we told him to cover up more. And he did. End of problem.

    IDK. I went to school with guys who would do that kind of stuff just to mess with people. If you gave them the opportunity, all heck would break loose.
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  • doschicosdoschicos 26932 replies270 threads Senior Member
    1) Guys having a conversation while sitting on the john doing no. 2. - women do this as well.
    2) Stubble in the sink. - women do this as well
    3) Realizing there is more than one person in the shower. - could happen (and does) in single sex bathrooms as well.
    4) Girl doing no 1 with a guy in the bathroom. - this is a problem how?
    5) Guys doing no 1 with the door open. - ask them to shut the door and be more courteous.
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