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Do Parents Ever Cross a Line by Helping Too Much With Schoolwork?

Dave_BerryDave_Berry CC Admissions Expert Posts: 2,705 Senior Member
"... — How do your parents — or, perhaps, a tutor or older sibling — help you with schoolwork? Do they read over or edit your essays? When you’re stuck on a math problem, do they get involved? Do they work with you on projects or help you study for tests? Do they help you in other ways, too, by making sure you are organized or reminding you not to procrastinate?" ...

Student opinion.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/17/learning/do-parents-ever-cross-a-line-by-helping-too-much-with-schoolwork.html
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Replies to: Do Parents Ever Cross a Line by Helping Too Much With Schoolwork?

  • bjkmombjkmom Registered User Posts: 7,298 Senior Member
    I teach math and my husband teaches English. It's VERY rare that our kids will ask us for help at all.
  • GourmetmomGourmetmom Registered User Posts: 2,715 Senior Member
    On the other hand, if it's just marked wrong by the teacher, it's not very helpful, so it's better to go over graded homework and fix mistakes.
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 22,170 Senior Member
    My kid built a pyramid by using marshmallows and toothpicks (I think she ate most of marshmallows). A kid turned in a pyramid with (colorful) ceramic tiles.
  • NEPatsGirlNEPatsGirl Registered User Posts: 2,655 Senior Member
    I always figured their homework was just that...their homework. If they needed guidance, sure. But I didn't correct it, only checked to make sure it was done, and that was only in elementary school. In high school, my D would occasionally ask me to read a paper or help with grammar but other than that...again, their homework.
  • BearHouseBearHouse Registered User Posts: 453 Member
    We never helped with schoolwork. We also never checked their work for any errors nor did we offer advice.
  • momtogirls2momtogirls2 Registered User Posts: 505 Member
    For me if varies. For instance in lower grades I had no problem going over math facts and spelling words as we walked 10 minutes back/forth to school because my kids liked that over studying alone at home and it worked well for them.

    I have a 9th grader and college freshman. Now I might quiz my high schooler on facts for a quiz/test like vocabulary. I might proofread a paper if asked. If my daughter has a basic question for math or science she knows she can ask my husband for help or to check something. If a math problem is confusing her my husband may do one problem with her which may be all she needs to independently do the rest correctly but if she needs more intensive help she is encouraged to talk to her teacher. I would say the biggest thing I do is encourage/suggest starting work earlier but she still believes procrastination is better.
  • HowardGradlyHowardGradly Registered User Posts: 104 Junior Member
    Ha! After a certain grade level, many parents (ok, me) have little to offer in terms of HW help.
  • WellspringWellspring Registered User Posts: 1,290 Senior Member
    I should add that the kid with the homework issues tested too high on standardized tests to be considered by the school for any extra help or coaching. The problem was all ours to solve and we never did.
  • twoinanddonetwoinanddone Registered User Posts: 19,334 Senior Member
    When my kids were in 1st grade, I think they were supposed to do 10 minutes of homework per night. One would finish in 4 minutes if it meant she could go read and didn't have to do math. The other? She hadn't even started in 10 minutes. She needed the right pencil, to have a snack, to go to the bathroom and wash her hands. She needed a different pencil, to ask 5 questions about the 5 questions she was supposed to answer. She'd still be there if I didn't help.

    As life went on, the '4 minute kid' continued to do 4 minutes of homework and the other continued to take much longer than any other kid to do the homework.

    On the other hand, they did show up in 4th grade with the 'Pilgrim's Village' project they'd made themselves with milk cartons covered with pine needles and sticks while another kid had houses with mitered corners and some professional looking artwork. I think the teacher knew who had done the work at our house and who had done the work at Becca's house.
  • mathmommathmom Registered User Posts: 31,152 Senior Member
    My kid did a science fair project using Excel - I'm sure everyone thought I did it. Nope. He'd been programming on computers for years and learned the basics of Excel in 2nd grade. His handwriting was terrible.
  • doschicosdoschicos Registered User Posts: 19,141 Senior Member
    "some professional looking artwork"

    Surprisingly, sometimes that excellent artwork is done by the child. I had one of those kids and kiddo's artistic skills and creativity even in 4th grade were superior to many adults. Yes, parents involvement is often noticeable but not always. Of course, the teachers knew about this kid's strengths so I doubt they questioned it. Teachers know who can do what.

  • FallGirlFallGirl Registered User Posts: 7,839 Senior Member
    I have a story about artwork. Both of my kids always insisted on doing the creative projects by themselves with no help. So their projects always looked "perfectly imperfect" next to the obviously parent done projects. Then when D was in 5th grade, I showed up a bit early to a program her class was putting on and was looking over some classroom done posters. I noticed that two posters were much nicer than the others- one done by a child who is very talented artistically and (you know where this is going), the other done by D. :)
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