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A Student Rebelling


Replies to: A Student Rebelling

  • thumper1thumper1 78020 replies3499 threads Senior Member
    You are in NY? There are many SUNY options.

    Do not force her to take that February test. What is the point?
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  • thumper1thumper1 78020 replies3499 threads Senior Member
    edited November 2018
    If you and dad are at cross purposes, perhaps some counseling for you two might be helpful.

    Creating unnecessary stress is not ever good.
    edited November 2018
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  • jonsmom23jonsmom23 20 replies3 threads Junior Member
    Both my D17 and S19 say junior year is the worst, with the most pressure.

    My S19 didn't even think about the ACT until after Christmas last year, started ACT tutoring this past January, took his first official test in February, and continued with the tutoring until the April test date. We were all happy with that April score, and then he had to switch to AP test prep and finals mode. The boy was exhausted. He thought about taking the ACT again in June but didn't have it in him to refocus. Some of his friends were still taking the test up until October I think.

    Give her time.

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  • techmom99techmom99 3515 replies6 threads Senior Member
    My S17 got into a SUNY with a 27 ACT and even got into the honors program at his school.
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  • LindagafLindagaf 10489 replies577 threads Super Moderator
    It doesn't matter if it's already paid for. She doesn't HAVE to take it that day.
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  • compmomcompmom 11562 replies81 threads Senior Member
    Many schools,including top schools, are test -optional or don't emphasize tests in admissions. With her grades and EC's your daughter should have many options.


    Please look carefully at this list and consider the possibility that she does not have to submit test scores to get into a good school.

    Only caveat: for merit aid, often test scores are needed. For financial aid, they are not.
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  • atanvarneatanvarne 75 replies5 threads Junior Member
    Both of my kids were terrible test-takers, never got scores that even remotely reflected their abilities. Multiple sittings and prep classes just made the situation worse. So we went seeking test-optional schools and found that there are PLENTY of them. So don't agonize, some students simply will never test well and that's OK. More and more schools are recognizing that SAT and ACT scores only tell them one thing about the students--how well they perform on standardized tests.

    My younger dd is a senior hi HS now and just submitted the Common App to 6 schools, all but one of them test-optional. Go looking, you will find them.
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  • roycroftmomroycroftmom 4065 replies40 threads Senior Member
    The score may or may not improve with further test prep. What certainly won't improve, though, is your relationship with your daughter if you force this upon her. She will be the one to deal with the consequences of her score (which is fine for most schools). The potential damage to your relationship will be felt by all of you.
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  • intparentintparent 36291 replies644 threads Senior Member
    So let him disengage (if he really will), You and your D can do it. It might be best.
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  • holychildholychild 288 replies7 threads Junior Member
    To his credit. He only wants to make sure she has lots of options when it comes time to apply to college. We were hoping for Somewhere like Cornell, Binghamton or Stonybrook. Those are really competitive. The more practice increases her chances of getting into the 33-34 range.

    The problem is that she is spending a lot of time on her phone and laptop rather than focusing on her work. She seems to be doing it in a very spiteful way too. I understand about junior year schedule being heavy but that’s why we let her drop a few ECs so it would be less stressful and give her more time to concentrate on school work and test prep.

    There are lots of kids doing the same and managing just fine. We tried taking off the wifi but she acted like an addict going through withdrawal. She was awfully nasty. She seems really angry and I try to talk to her and she doesn’t want to talk to me. It is like a war zone here. She deliberately ignores everything I say. She has been a high performing student and we just don’t want to see all these years of hard work go to waste come college acceptance time.
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  • karen0karen0 183 replies31 threads Junior Member
    @holychild I'm going through a similar situation with 11th grade DD. I have 5 children and they all seem to manage stress in different ways. She wants to start visiting the most selective colleges in the country buy is utterly unfocused on her approach to the ACT. Or if she does take a practice test, she refuses to take it at a testing center, she says it's a waste of money to pay a proctor but yells at anyone if they are noisy in our house during the 3.5 hours of her mock test. She is sitting for the test on December 8. I think she should wait but she needs to make her own decisions on the timing. Hey at least I know she won't be bitchy towards any of us that day for making too much noise while she takes a mock test in the middle of the house.
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  • MYOS1634MYOS1634 43109 replies470 threads Senior Member
    There are so many for SUNYs where a 28 would not only be sufficient but get her into Honors college :) And she'd likely get a 28 just by attending school and completing her classes.
    Cornell may be your dream but not hers.
    Plus..look at Ithaca, Syracuse, Hobart and William Smith, St Lawrence, Skidmore, St Bonaventure, Siena, Fordham.... Lots of colleges to visit.
    Cornell has the contract colleges - CALS or IRL are awesome bargains for NYS residents and easier to get into., If
    In short, no need to stress. She's doing fine right now. She'll have plenty of time in the spring.
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  • socaldad2002socaldad2002 2154 replies33 threads Senior Member
    edited November 2018
    Agree with @Groundwork2022 , sometimes you need to bite the bullet and hire a professional on an hourly basis. We hired a college admissions professional for D20 and made a big difference in her understanding the things she should be doing for college admissions.

    I also would hire a test prep professional to work with her on a weekly basis. The good ones are worth their weight in gold. I have not had to ask once for D to study for the ACT and she has regular “assignments”.

    It is money well spent and takes some of the burden off of us parents. I knows all kids are different but this approach has worked really well for us as D has seen a 4 point increase in ACT score in 6 weeks.

    Good luck, it will all work out.

    edited November 2018
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