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gpo613gpo613 Registered User Posts: 131 Junior Member
Do any of you parents put a location restriction on where your D or S can attend college? Basically everything equal can your child go to college a long ways from home?

Replies to: Location

  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 Registered User Posts: 11,948 Senior Member
    You'll get a lot of different answers to this.

    I wanted mine within a (theoretical) day's drive which is most all of the US east of the Rockies. There were SO MANY schools my kids liked - too many in fact - in that radius that there was no reason to look further. An easy way to pare things down.

    YMMV if you live in Washington State or something though.
  • TheGreyKingTheGreyKing Forum Champion Williams College Posts: 1,865 Forum Champion
    Rather than setting restrictions, it may be best to talk things out, with respect for your child’s thoughts and opinions, as well as your own. Weigh all considerations together, as a family.

    I think @momofsenior1 had a good list of considerations for the conversation. How your child will feel about your being able to attend parents’ days or not, and his/her being able to come home for short breaks or not, are key considerations, and budgetary and time constraints may have an impact on the feasibility of these trips if the school is far from home.
  • SJ2727SJ2727 Registered User Posts: 329 Member
    edited December 6
    My daughter is almost certainly going to the opposite coast, because that’s where the best schools/locations for her intended major are. We have family and friends there, will happily take any incentive to visit (we are fortunate that travel costs are not a limitation), and she and we are so excited about the experience she’ll have living in any of the cities she’s applied to there, so that’s all ok :)

    We even considered whether she should apply to any UK universities, but decided that was a step too far from the west coast... so I guess the east coast was our geographic limit.
  • MagnetronMagnetron Registered User Posts: 2,536 Senior Member
    We are in Washington State and have a child at Notre Dame. There just aren't any schools like that within driving distance, maybe Santa Clara would be the closest similar, Gonzaga if you don't mind all the differences.

    I was from upstate NY and didn't even consider anything more than about 3 hours drive. Only the kids striving to get away left the area and, generally, did not come back.
  • ChaosParent23ChaosParent23 Registered User Posts: 138 Junior Member
    edited December 6
    We have a slightly different situation. We didn't give him any restrictions, but let him know early on that WE don't know where we will be living. DH is retiring this summer and we are chomping at the bit to leave & start anew. We had a very frank conversation w/ S19 to clarify his expectations. He would like to be no more than 8 hrs away. We told him we'd do our very best to make that happen, but no promises. He chose his schools based on desire to attend, not where we would be located.

    Edited to add--- there's a slight possibility we could all be in the same town. We asked how he felt about that & he said "Great! As long as there are ground rules like no coming on campus on weekends unless invited!!"
  • MaineLonghornMaineLonghorn Super Moderator Posts: 36,572 Super Moderator
    We didn't put any restrictions, but I will say it's a pain getting our D from Portland, Maine to Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania! We're going to get her a car this Christmas so we don't have to make the 1000-mile round trip twice a year.
  • AlmostThere2018AlmostThere2018 Registered User Posts: 867 Member
    We did not put geographic restrictions. My D herself decided no farther South than NC because too hot. In the end she had options from West Coast, to MN to MA and some in between. But then she chose a place just 2.5 hours drive -- partly b/c of weather but mostly b/c it was the best fit/option. We are glad she's not 3000 miles a way but it would also have been nice to visit!
  • NJWrestlingmomNJWrestlingmom Registered User Posts: 756 Member
    S17 wanted to be close to home, so no worries. D21 is more adventurous. We're not really putting a limit of the area, but we've talked money and told her, depending on the cost of where she's going and the distance (she wanted to go to Ireland or England initially!), she might just be coming home for Christmas and summer.
  • chercheurchercheur Registered User Posts: 1,141 Senior Member
    I currently have one very far away and one within a day's drive. Both locations do have direct flights, and the ease of flying was something we considered.

    It is more difficult to be far away. If they get seriously sick, you can't easily get there. They may not be home for the shorter holiday breaks like Thanksgiving. The parents can't attend a lot of the family events. You really can't tell how they are doing through phone calls and texts. We made sure we were able to visit at least once a semester freshman year to see for ourselves how they were adjusting.
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 72,339 Senior Member
    We did. We asked our kids to apply to colleges within a 3 hour drive from our home OR within an hour of a close friend or relative. Really...we have a large family and they are spread out all over the place. Plus lots of good friends. This didn’t really “restrict” our kids much at all.

    Both were fine with that restriction.

    And it turned out to be useful when one kid had to have emergency surgery 3000 miles from home first thing in the morning and there would have been no way for the parents to get there at all. BUT the relative and close friend were there almost immediately! When your kid is having surgery, you want someone in person advocating for them. And listening to the doctors.

  • 4kids4us4kids4us Registered User Posts: 411 Member
    We did not put any restrictions on our kids. D17 was looking at schools up and down the East Coast and a couple in southern CA. However, all were close to major airports. She ended up in southern CA, over 3000 miles away and usually gets a reasonably priced direct flight. But, we live close to a major airport and her campus is 10 mins from the airport, so door to door including her flight, it is about 8.5 hours for her to get to/from school. Even better for me b/c it only involves a 30 min ride to/from the airport. Much better for me than her friends who go to SEC schools way down south and whose parents make that very long drive down...and then back at the beginning and end of school.

    S19 is not going to be as easy most likely. I have a feeling we will have at least a 4-6 hour drive to where he ends up.
  • Erin's DadErin's Dad Super Moderator Posts: 35,915 Super Moderator
    For our D's there were no distance restrictions. For my S we would like him within driving range since he has a medical condition, just in case.
  • 1NJParent1NJParent Registered User Posts: 580 Member
    edited December 6
    Location was never a primary issue for us. We visited colleges in every region of the country on our college tours. Some are less than an hour or two drive away, and some take more than half a day to get to by plane. When we look for that "fit", we feel many other factors are more important than geography. I certainly understand the concern about medical emergency, but hopefully its odds are very low for kids without special medical conditions. And don't they eventually have to deal with it themselves (whether in college or beyond)?
  • techmom99techmom99 Registered User Posts: 3,092 Senior Member
    My D and the two sons who went away put the restriction on themselves that they would not be close enough that H would drive over and surprise them. He would do that. So they were all 6 to 8 hours driving time, but still in the same state. H has not yet been to S17's school and refuses to go until graduation. He is furious that the kid refused to apply to Stony Brook, even though he acknowledges that SBU doesn't offer the program S17 is in.
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