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Did you prepare your kids to be good college roommates?


Replies to: Did you prepare your kids to be good college roommates?

  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens Registered User Posts: 962 Member
    @oldfort I agree! That said, my roommate used to lock me out of my own room while she was having sex with whomever of the day -- I would get back to campus (my boyfriend now my ex husband) lived with his parents off campus and I would often spend the weekend there and come back late on a Sunday night to find myself unable to come into my own room (or at my own peril which honestly I sometimes did) -- like she had all weekend while I was gone and had to be there Sunday night... some people are rude and selfish I guess.
  • MeddyMeddy Registered User Posts: 337 Member
    edited February 6
    @liska21 "sexiled" lol! :\">
  • MeddyMeddy Registered User Posts: 337 Member
    edited February 6
    @emptynesteryet I agree! Although with D18, I suspected she would put up with waaaaaay too much. She is very patient and tolerant.

    Maybe I was set up since the housing questionnaire is so loooooooong and detailed. Maybe one of the questions should have been: Would people closest to you describe you as crazy? Do you think you're crazy? In normal every day situations, do you respond appropriately or reasonably or are you just plain crazy? 8-}
  • homerdoghomerdog Registered User Posts: 3,809 Senior Member
  • MjkacmomMjkacmom Registered User Posts: 49 Junior Member
    There is a 6 1/2 age gap between my oldest and youngest, and there are 5 of them altogether. I think just living in a small 1 1/2 bedroom home and being in close circles of friends helped/will help. Dd22 lived 2 years in the dorms and 2 years off campus with several roommates, ds20 dormed his first 2 years and now lives in a fraternity house with 9 other guys. Dd18 and dd16 shared a room, clothes and many activities for most of their lives, and get along great - actually they all do, arguments are rare, they save those for friends I guess. I think communication is very important, before something becomes a problem. I dormed with the same roommate for 4 years, were strangers at first.
  • Midwest67Midwest67 Registered User Posts: 2,499 Senior Member
    It was quite an adjustment for both of my kids when they went off to the dorms. Both had their own room at home and it was their castle.

    Both of them moved off campus the very next year and were much more content. Although they had roommates when they lived off campus, they had their own room, which made a big difference.

    I can remember sharing some of my own college dorm nightmares with the kids but I don't know if they were even listening. One difference nowadays is they were immediately on their phones texting with friends and everyone was sharing their first year experiences.
  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 Registered User Posts: 12,224 Senior Member
    @meddy I never saw the questionnaire - it was long? D made it sound like no big deal.

    Love the sound of your D's floor. That's still the main circle for my D 4 years later, that first year floor group.
  • ChoatieMomChoatieMom Registered User Posts: 5,034 Senior Member
    Our son is our only child. He did not have to share a bedroom or a bathroom growing up, and he opted for a single his four years at boarding school. We never discussed how to be a good roommate. A kind and considerate person, yes. Roommate, no. He chose a service academy for college, and the Army forced him to room and shower with 4,400 other cadets. Rather eye-opening, but he adapted. He’s never had to deal with inappropriate drinking, drugs, or sexiling at West Point as those behaviors are reasons for separation. He does crave his privacy when he’s home, though, and he’s looking forward to being on his own again after graduation.
  • MeddyMeddy Registered User Posts: 337 Member
    @liska21 I think you are on to something! A "would you rather" of sorts would be awesome, too!

    @OHMomof2 Yes. I recall because I was in the same room as D18 read some of the questions out loud. There was plenty of space to write in answers, too. Yes, that floor is so sweet. I love how she describes the students. Several athletes and they just mix in so well, so she has been invited to some of their events and she supports them at their games. As you know, that seems to come up as a concern on here about the athlete/narp divide. She doesn't see that at all. I'm encouraged that your daughter had a good floor, too. It has been a nice go to group for her when she has to avoid the room.
  • WWC4meWWC4me Registered User Posts: 200 Junior Member
    My three college-aged girls shared one (not overly big) room since they were 8, 8 and 5 years old. So they were well equipped to communicate with, compromise with, and navigate roommates in college. They were/also well aware that the relationships might not always be smooth, but they didn't have to be toxic either. One twin was in a triple as a freshman and my current freshman is in a triple. The senior is not friends with her two roommates now (one left the school.) The other senior is friends with all her roommates over the years. She is suitemates with one and right down the hall from another. The freshman is friends with one roommate and tolerates the other because (and this a quote) "she's a lot."
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 22,601 Senior Member
    It was bet selfish on my part, but I was the one who insisted on my girls getting a single the first year. D1 said it may prevent her from making friends. I told her to just keep her door open (eye rolling). I really didn't want to deal with their roommate problems. The second year they had to live with a roommate at their sorority, but they were able to pick their roommate and both of them were able to room with their best friend. Yes, I still got an earful from them the second year.
  • websensationwebsensation Registered User Posts: 1,972 Senior Member
    edited February 7
    Because I thought (perhaps incorrectly) that my kid would not promptly talk to his roommate about any issues that come up, I told him to always talk to his roommate frankly and in respectful manner if anything bothered him, and if there is any dispute to talk to the Residence Assistant in charge. But when we were helping him move in, I met his roommate and the other two quad-mates, and all of them were very nice kids. My kid tells me his roommate even starts cleaning the entire room without being asked because he cannot stand dirty environment. His roommate is too busy studying with his study buddies in library, so my kid often has the entire quad to himself, and he says it's great.
  • 1or2Musicians1or2Musicians Registered User Posts: 1,352 Senior Member
    “ I think anyone who can have sex with another person in these small dorm rooms borders on slutty or worse. “

    So requiring more space to have sex makes you less slutty? That’s a new one on me.
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