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The Bad News About Helicopter Parenting: It Works

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Replies to: The Bad News About Helicopter Parenting: It Works

  • yucca10yucca10 Registered User Posts: 911 Member
    I'm patting myself on the back for being a more or less authoritative parent. However, I had to deflect criticisms both from friends who were surprised my kid didn't do his own laundry yet at age 10, and others who told me just to write his homework essays if he's having such a trouble with them.
  • Time2ShineTime2Shine Registered User Posts: 215 Junior Member
    I find it interesting, on a forum that celebrates 90th+ percentile ACT and SAT scores, amazing EC's and admission to multiple hyper-competitive schools, that anyone would argue with the title of this article.
  • gouf78gouf78 Registered User Posts: 7,419 Senior Member
    @Time2Shine -- I'm guessing you didn't actually read the article.
  • SwimmingDadSwimmingDad Registered User Posts: 842 Member
    @Publisher You need to move to my community. Parents are ALL over teachers...write papers, etc. We had to meet with a teacher once about an issue our son was facing and when we finished she said "that's it? I'm used to being belittled until I raise a grade and threatened if I don't."

    I also agree...they author is confused about helicopter parents. His definition is way off.
  • PublisherPublisher Registered User Posts: 5,936 Senior Member
    edited February 7
    Once, and only once, when my son was in Catholic school, I met with the Principal to discuss a minor disciplinary action. Her response was "how much more punishment do you want us to give him?"
  • damon30damon30 Registered User Posts: 325 Member
    From the article.
    The most effective parents, according to the authors, are “authoritative.” They use reasoning to persuade kids to do things that are good for them. Instead of strict obedience, they emphasize adaptability, problem-solving and independence — skills that will help their offspring in future workplaces that we can’t even imagine yet.

    I read through the book summary on Amazon and they say Chinese parents, both in the US and in China, go the furthest in this “authoritative” direction. This is Amy Chua "Tiger Mom" all over again.
  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus Registered User Posts: 73,730 Senior Member
    edited February 7
    damon30 wrote:
    I read through the book summary on Amazon and they say Chinese parents, both in the US and in China, go the furthest in this “authoritative” direction. This is Amy Chua "Tiger Mom" all over again.

    With respect to tiger parenting, is it "authoritative" or "authoritarian"? Some of the worst stereotypes of tiger parenting seem more "authoritarian" than "authoritative".

    In any case, the column and the preview pages of the book suggest that economic inequality is both a cause and effect of more intensive parenting. More economic inequality -> parents push their kids to compete for scarcer good positions in the economy -> well resourced parents do it more effectively to their kids' advantage* -> more economic inequality inherited to the next generation.

    * And if improving their kids' performance is not enough, well resourced parents are more likely to be able to deploy money to remove obstacles in their kids' paths.
  • damon30damon30 Registered User Posts: 325 Member
    With respect to tiger parenting, is it "authoritative" or "authoritarian"? Some of the worst stereotypes of tiger parenting seem more "authoritarian" than "authoritative".

    For the Chinese parents I know, it's more authoritative and involved. They are heavily invested in their children's lives, especially with regard to academics.
  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus Registered User Posts: 73,730 Senior Member
    Unfortunately, Amy Chua seems to have promoted a more "authoritarian" style of tiger parenting. See the first essay in http://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/hwaters-/psy327/articles/Chinese mothers.pdf .
  • damon30damon30 Registered User Posts: 325 Member
    Unfortunately, Amy Chua seems to have promoted a more "authoritarian" style of tiger parenting. See the first essay in http://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/hwaters-/psy327/articles/Chinese mothers.pdf .

    Authoritative or authoritarian, both her kids got into Harvard. I read that "Battle Hymn" story at the time and thought it was great.
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