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How much are you involved with your high schooler in their homework

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Replies to: How much are you involved with your high schooler in their homework

  • EENYMumEENYMum Registered User Posts: 194 Junior Member
    Not much homework help in early years, but then had to (try) to help during common core roll out years between 5-8th, then not much help during hs. We did do reminders to get assignments done earlier rather than later.
  • thumper1thumper1 Registered User Posts: 75,605 Senior Member
    @LoveToLearn99

    The goal is to have an independent learner who is able to time manage, complete assignments on time and turn them in, and to know when to seek help when they need it and where to get it. These are all skills your son will need to be a successful college student.

    No one is going to be involved on a daily basis with homework...unless the student seeks tutorial services. And even then, it’s very unlikely that this will be on a daily basis unless there is some very specialized college or your student has significant accommodations set up by the disability office (even then, your kid will need to be a good self advocate).

    You certainly can answer questions if asked by your son. But he needs to know how to seek assistance from his teachers. When do they have after school study hours? Can he seek help during a study hall? What does the teacher do in terms of helping those who have homework difficulties!

    What sort of homework help were you thinking you needed to provide to your son? If you think you are providing to much...or too little...ask the teachers at his school. They will tell you.

    Where I live and worked, students were expected to manage their homework assignments without much help from parents. The help could be there for questions, or proofreading. But beyond that...just make sure your kid has a quiet place to do his work. If you are concerned he will be gaming or surfing the net, maybe your homework spot should be the kitchen table while you are preparing dinner. But really...how will that make him an independent and responsible learner....which he will need to be in college. You won’t be able to help him there.
  • racereerracereer Registered User Posts: 62 Junior Member
    Almost none. Pretty much just proof reading if needed or listening to presentations and giving feedback.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 9,077 Senior Member
    edited May 14
    Helped both as freshmen, mostly quizzing for test review. Helped dyslexic and dysgraphic son more when he wrote essays, but haven’t been asked for the last two years.

    Hubby is math guy, occasionally gets asked for help.
  • LoveToLearn99LoveToLearn99 Registered User Posts: 5 New Member
    Thank you, everyone, for all your responses. We as well have not provided any homework help since her elementary school days. My D did well all along, however, in HS she received a couple of Cs.. Which I understand now, those became detrimental in her admission to selective colleges. Therefore, do you monitor the grade then and at what point you take corrective actions in case the grade is not in line with student's potential. Thanks.
  • tutumom2001tutumom2001 Registered User Posts: 1,144 Senior Member
    edited May 14
    I quit helping back in third grade when my kid was learning how to multiply fractions the "common core" way. "No, Mom, [cross multiplying] is not how we do it." "Then you're on your own, kid." I rarely even know what homework D20 has unless it's for art and there is charcoal dust everywhere.

    I do check the online portal to make sure everything is turned in and raise holy cane when it isn't (which happens more often than I care to divulge).

    Regarding the Cs: Your daughter might not have gotten into the selective colleges even with A's. Or, maybe she would have squeaked in but would have struggled near the bottom of her class. If that had been the case, does she have the grit not to let it overcome her? That's a rhetorical question - some kids do well when faced with a challenge but let things slide when everything is coming up roses, while other kids do better when they're the big fish but falter when life throws a curve ball. I have a kid who does better when she's NOT the best, which is why I'll let her sink a bit. She's kind of like the Avis Rental Cars' "We're Number 2, so We Try Harder" campaign. I don't have to rescue her because she'll rescue herself. That being said, there are other factors which make most, if not all, Ivy schools not the right fit for her, including size, location, and program offerings.
  • itsgettingreal17itsgettingreal17 Registered User Posts: 3,710 Senior Member
    The extent of my help during high school was to be a sounding board for projects or speeches when she asked my opinion.
  • Waiting2exhaleWaiting2exhale Registered User Posts: 2,895 Senior Member
    LoveToLearn99:

    Some suggestions would be to determine if the student is distracted, overscheduled, or missing the foundational understanding of the work which is causing problems.

    For distractions limit those, even where the student becomes angry, upset, or feels the action is unjustified.

    If the student is overscheduled, sit down and talk about priorities and bringing that into balance with the need to do the work of a student: study.

    If the student is struggling because they do not understand the work, honestly assess if the level and pace of the work is appropriate for your kid now. I say 'now' to differentiate the times before now when everythng may have come so easily that a grade of 'C' was never a thought.

    Of course, tutors are always possible if one can afford it.

    Our kids' own interests and desires do shift as well, and talking with your child to gauge where they are, and if the pace and direction are in sync with them, may be a responsible and appropriate move.
  • GKUnionGKUnion Registered User Posts: 45 Junior Member
    S1: We initially helped with study habits, but not content.

    S2: 0.00% involvement...I barely know what classes he’s taking.
  • Erin's DadErin's Dad Super Moderator Posts: 36,320 Super Moderator
    Never had to help or do anything with the older two (girls). Now the boy who is still in HS, a whole 'nother story.

    Can't seem to make himself do homework, or bother to turn it in even if it is done. We had a LONG discussion recently when we received a note from the HS that our senior currently had a D or F in a class and was in danger of not graduating. We will have many more discussions before he heads off to college (and I intend to make sure I get access to his online grading system).
  • happy1happy1 Forum Champion Parents, Forum Champion Admissions Posts: 24,187 Forum Champion
    edited May 14
    When kids came across a specific subject they struggled with for some reason (geometry for S who has visual/spacial issues, calculus for D as her teacher had not taught the subject before and was not getting the material across well -- at least to D) we hired a tutor for the year. Both times it was very helpful. I could not have helped them even if I wanted to.
  • jmnva06jmnva06 Registered User Posts: 701 Member
    Not beyond asking if things are done
  • woodlandsmomwoodlandsmom Registered User Posts: 415 Member
    Hardly any but I do help edit papers if he is struggling. But, I usually just help him brainstorm on how to start and he does it all. I helped S#1 more than S#3. Number 3 is a self-starter (thank the Lord). He gets his stuff done.
  • MjkacmomMjkacmom Registered User Posts: 81 Junior Member
    Zero with #1, #2 has adhd and we discovered he struggled with executive functioning in high school, so actually had to monitor the portal because he never turned in assignments (his guidance counselor helped him and he’s finishing up junior year in college), I have proofread when asked for #3, #4, and #5, who are still in high school. However, I have asked them to help each other out if needed (especially with subjects like calculus or chemistry, we are too old).
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