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How much are you involved with your high schooler in their homework

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Replies to: How much are you involved with your high schooler in their homework

  • RightCoasterRightCoaster 2922 replies4 threads Senior Member
    Hardly any involvement because Ive forgotten most of the math I’ve ever learned, and I am no help with Physics and Computer Science. I’ve read some papers, and consulted on some projects, but basically have been totally hands off. My wife has never helped, not once.
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  • RockyPARockyPA 104 replies10 threads Junior Member
    Not at all..
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  • cshell2cshell2 1063 replies11 threads Senior Member
    My oldest is in 11th grade. In 9th grade I helped him quite a bit. He was in a Montessori school through 8th grade and the transition to a traditional classroom was a huge change. He'd never had homework or tests or grades of any kind, so freshman year was rough. He was forgetting to do assignments all the time or he'd remember to do them, but forget to turn them in. I monitored the online assignment board a lot. I constantly reminded him to check his email and if he was settled in for the evening playing video games I brought up homework that needed to be completed. I didn't actually DO any of the homework however. I remember helping with some Algebra the first couple months, but then he was beyond what I could remember.

    Sophomore year was much better. For the most part he stayed on top of things, and didn't need daily reminders. Missed/late assignments went from several a week to one or two a month, if that.

    Now in Jr year I rarely even open the app to check his grades. When I do, it's mostly due to my phone addiction and habit than worrying about how much red there would be if I let it go to long. Freshman year GPA was 3.42 (with massive hounding), Sophomore 3.6 and Jr is 3.9 with a lot more going on in the EC area.

    I am seriously considering transitioning the younger son in 7th grade instead of 9th to get the awkward years out of the way before high school when the grades really count.
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  • Midwest67Midwest67 3898 replies14 threads Senior Member
    Not involved. No checking to see what the assignments were. No checking up on either kid.

    Once, I was asked by one kid to proof a paper and I did.
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  • austinmshauriaustinmshauri 9741 replies371 threads Senior Member
    I wouldn't make the assumption that if your daughter didn't have any C's on her report card she'd have been accepted to the Ivies or other selective schools. If your son values school as a senior as much as he seems to now, those types of schools may not work out for him either.
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  • racereerracereer 406 replies1 threads Member
    @brantly My S19 goes to a mid size public HS in VA (~1500) and though we have never had one, they do offer PT conferences once a quarter if you request one.

    I will have to revise my answer from earlier because I forgot that my son asked for some help in his dual enrolled college calculus based physics class earlier this year. I was amazed I remembered enough to get him pointed in the right direction for some of the problems.
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  • Waiting2exhaleWaiting2exhale 3060 replies17 threads Senior Member
    "People whose kids don't need any of that are not better parents. Kids who do need it and their parents help them find it are not worse."

    @VickiSoCal : Is that the sense you get is being disavowed or declared in the growing array of statements?


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  • VickiSoCalVickiSoCal 3484 replies34 threads Senior Member
    @Waiting2exhale I have definitely had lots of parents tell me with pride in their voice that their kids are on top of everything and that even if they were not the subjects their kids study are way beyond the parents. Almost always in reference to math, chemistry or physics.

    I recently helped my daughter and her friend with a p chem tutorial via skype and I am happy to report I can still find an eigenvalue.

    So if you can do it, and your kid likes the way you explain things, I don't understand why you wouldn't!
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  • Waiting2exhaleWaiting2exhale 3060 replies17 threads Senior Member
    ^^Got it. So your answer comes from a context wider than just this thread, but not entirely, or necessarily exclusive, of comments in the thread.

    Yes, I understand your comment entirely.
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  • BingeWatcherBingeWatcher 984 replies7 threads Member
    In middle school I required D to sit at dinning room table so I could make sure she was focused (ADHD-I). High school: all work done upstairs at her desk in her room. No longer worry. I could not help her if wanted to.
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  • thumper1thumper1 78020 replies3499 threads Senior Member
    @brantly our public middle school has required conferences the first marking period of 7th grade (that’s when MS starts here). After that, it’s usually by request, but the request can be made by the teacher or the parent.

    In addition, any student with a grade below C...that parent has a conference.
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  • roper1313roper1313 86 replies3 threads Junior Member
    My oldest is is a jr and we have had very little involvement his school work since 7th grade. The transition to MS was a bit of a challenge for him. We only help proofread (rarely asked), he might bounce an idea off of us but that is it. Our youngest is in 8th grade and he has been very self sufficient. He's now learning how to cite for research papers and my wife (HS Science teacher) will help him with that. They have to learn to fly!!
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  • MaineLonghornMaineLonghorn 41499 replies2253 threads Super Moderator
    We had little involvement with two of the kids; a good bit with the third. That kid is the one who has made Dean's List every semester in college and navigates life in the Middle East. So it's OK if your kid needs some help before he or she soars!
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  • theloniusmonktheloniusmonk 2894 replies5 threads Senior Member
    "If you don't go to the single back to school night each year and spend 10 minutes sitting in each classroom you will never meet the teachers."

    On that point, the teachers at the BTS suggested ways for parents to get involved, it was recommended - e.g. helping them with vocabulary, even watching TV with them!

    "Love all the responses to the parents of super kids.. Lol.."

    This question is totally set up for humble bragging, and the thread oozes it no doubt. As I've posted before, homework is as overrated as they come, if a parent wants to eliminate it so the kid can get more sleep or have family dinners, they should be lauded for it.
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  • bopperbopper Forum Champion CWRU 14471 replies104 threads Forum Champion
    By Senior year I had a "at least half of your homework must be done by Friday night before you go out" rule (as she was putting it off until Sunday and then staying up too late". I would give her the occasional "all your homework done"?
    And I would help her proof read/edit papers upon request.
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  • LuvsLabsLuvsLabs 279 replies4 threads Junior Member
    @VickiSoCal - you're right, and we found that out the very hard way toward the end of Freshman year. DD thought that as long as she aced the tests she'd be fine - the teacher figured, if you don't do your homework, you earn zeros instead of easy numerator credits toward the final grade. A kid who was used to easy A's found she was earning C's in two of her favorite classes and had to really scramble to earn half-credit for late assignments! Homework counts, underclassmen!!!
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  • toomanyteenstoomanyteens 1118 replies69 threads Senior Member
    For my oldest, more than I would have liked, mostly around organizing herself but she has a learning disability that effects executive function - my younger two not at all.
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  • ChoatieMomChoatieMom 5752 replies270 threads Senior Member
    Not at all. He was thousands of miles away at boarding school.
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