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What Can I Do? My mom won't let me go to the college I want to go to.
I'm a male Nebraska resident from a first-generation immigrant family living in Omaha with my parents. My family is pretty dysfunctional, but most of the dysfunction comes from my mom. I'm always afraid of going home because my mom always starts a fight with either my dad, brother, or me. I'm tired of living with her and I want to move to Crete, Nebraska and go to Doane University. My mom wants me to stay in Omaha and go to the University of Nebraska in Omaha and continue living with my family. No matter how much I try to convince my mom to allow me to go to Doane, she always starts a fight with me about it and calls me naive and says that I'm just as stupid as my autistic brother. I've been offered $28,000 per year to go to Doane, and I've been offered $2,000 per year to go to UNO (you do the math). Even though UNO is public and living at home is cheaper than at a dorm, I'd still be paying more money if I went to UNO. I have applied for external scholarships, but I've only earned one small $500 external scholarship so far out of all the external scholarships I've applied for, but I'm still applying for more. I've tried to sit my mom down and show her the math and all the facts between Doane and UNO, but she disregards everything I say and say that "it's not true" and that Doane is "lying about the scholarships" (even though they are literally in my financial aid package) or "they have hidden fees." My mom constantly comes up with reasons why I can't go. She says "it's 4 or 5 hours away" even though it's only an hour away. She says I'm "going to get lost" even though Crete is 3 square miles and Omaha is 141 square miles. She says that it will cost too much, even though I'd be paying more by going to UNO while living at home (and honestly, I wouldn't want to live with her anymore, even if I did want to go to UNO). She asks me questions about how I'm going to pay for the rest of the tuition and room and board, but constantly interrupts me when I try to answer and says that I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about. She thinks she can just take control of my whole life. In fact, she's even said things like, "No, you are going to UNO" and "Do what I say." I have a job, but my mom hasn't given me my bank information, so I have no idea how much money I have in my savings account, or how to access my money. I'm 17 years old and I don't turn 18 until August, and I fear that my mom will transfer all my money to her account before I turn 18 if I try to go to Doane so I can be broke, but I don't really care because she'd probably not give me access to my money if I stayed in Omaha either. I just want to know how I can go to Doane. At this point I don't think anything will convince her, but I'm open to suggestions. I'm fine with leaving my mom and limiting my contact with her, in fact, that's what I want. I just need to find some way to either convince her to let me go to Doane or find a way to move out of the house and go to Doane legally while being 17. I don't want to live another 4 years with my abusive and narcissistic mom, and I don't want her controlling my life anymore. What can I do?87 replies