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"COPTER QUIZ"...are you a Helicopter Parent?

13

Replies to: "COPTER QUIZ"...are you a Helicopter Parent?

  • windywindy 152 replies5 discussionsUser Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 157 Junior Member
    What would the name be for those who hire a professional to do all those things on the list? Like those services advertised on this site. A good parent?
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  • standrewsstandrews 1343 replies22 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,365 Senior Member
    I scored 4/9, but "meet[ing] the high school counselor without [our] child present" was at the request of the GC.

    Question to parents with 2nd/3rd/nth kid going through the search/application process. Do you find yourself 'hovering' more or less than with the first kid going to college?

    I have a Sr & a Soph and feel less inclined to be involved with the soph.
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  • KristinaKristina 958 replies59 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,017 Senior Member
    Only 3/9 for my mom :)
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  • wtrbearwtrbear 238 replies2 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 240 Junior Member
    0/9; oh the independence
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  • collegehopeful78collegehopeful78 1363 replies107 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,470 Senior Member
    aalright anyone who even takes this quiz is most likely a helicopter parent.
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  • ParentOfIvyHopeParentOfIvyHope 3081 replies101 discussions- Posts: 3,182 Senior Member
    1. Do you search college websites for your child?

    This doesn't belong here the right question is

    Do you choose the college list for your child?

    I check college websites but for my own knowledge and if I find something good I forward it to my D.
    It is not hovering.
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  • NarcissaNarcissa 3779 replies156 discussions- Posts: 3,935 Senior Member
    my parents are 0/9
    yay!
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  • ahoo2uahoo2u 205 replies11 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 216 Junior Member
    Getting a child with a LD through public schools, you have to be a helicopter parent. I was worse, I was a kamikaze parent....annoyingly frequenting school offices to get accommodations etc. It's been quite a effort to intentionally back off.

    My fear of being a copter parent, is that my student would remain immature and passive allowing me (or others) to do the work of overcome life's obstacles. But it hasn't been so. Being an assertive parent, does not always mean, weak child. There's an important factor of timing here too...knowing when to back off and stop being so involved, especially at college separation time. I don't think this is one size fit's all kids.

    Being assertive on behalf of the student and modeling not getting overlooked and walked on, is very different from a parent asserting the parent's own agenda. D is now amazingly assertive on her own behalf or so I've heard. She confides and calls me several times a day (some days) still needing too much support...but it's support of her decisions and actions...not doing it for her. Never-the-less I am still working on the "you are competent and doing a great job (even without me)" so I'm greatful for sites like this one.

    My scores 2 years ago with her high school was 6 of 9 and now (mid sophmore college) it's 3 of 9

    1. Y --Y
    2. Y --Y
    3. Y --N
    4. N --N
    5. Y --N
    6. Y --N
    7. N --N
    8. N --N
    9. Y --Y

    So...There's hope for us chopper parents yet.

    P.S. And it really helps if the college is at least 3 or more hours away.
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  • wis75wis75 13853 replies62 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 13,915 Senior Member
    Is there any place for wanna be helicopter parents- ie those whose children won't let them? Fantasy- yes, reality- no way. I liked binx post #29 list of questions. Does it count to e-mail your son to remind him to clean his microwave oven before you pick him up for winter break knowing you had to clean the turntable before you could pack it last spring (he was nowhere near packed when I arrived to move him out then and I helped in the interest of getting home)? Or does it only count if you get to see his room to know if he did?
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  • ahoo2uahoo2u 205 replies11 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 216 Junior Member
    wis75
    It only counts if you drop in periodically to clean it for him
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  • woodywoody 3795 replies66 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 3,861 Senior Member
    I think I should change my name to Blackhawk.
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  • brillarbrillar 1073 replies16 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,089 Senior Member
    Wow, I guess my mom is the opposite of a copter.

    The only reason she looked at any websites (after I've applied to all) is so I can finally visit some of these schools. And I had to nag to get her to take me on visits.

    Maybe first generation college students are just less likely to have copters.

    In fact, I think my dad could have gotten a negative score, if possible. He doesn't even want me to go to college.

    And anyone that writes his/her kid's essays, should be SLAPPED. SLAPPED. You're not going to be able to write all their college papers too! If you have to cheat to get into a college, you don't belong there.
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  • SungchulSungchul 1421 replies77 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,498 Senior Member
    My mom would get half a YES on 2 and 3 and a YES for 4.

    My mother only chose my courses until 10th grade (which, for the most part, were pretty much standard anyway) and my activities in middle school (which have coincidentally held through, for the most part, into high school too, but I did choose my own afterwards). My mom thinks that the interview would be a strong point for me, so she keeps telling me to try to find out about it, and I have. When I have one coming up, I ask her about clothes depending where it is, and to ask me question that would make sense.

    Technically, I guess mother could have 0 NOs. I don't consider her a heli-mom at all, but she's still a part of my college app process.
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  • binxbinx 4229 replies89 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 4,318 Senior Member
    In fact, I think my dad could have gotten a negative score, if possible. He doesn't even want me to go to college.

    Actually, I think this might make your dad MORE of a helicopter. The main problem I see with helicopters is their controlling nature over things that aren't their business, past the point when it is appropriate. Trying to influence an outcome for someone else's life.

    It is the age at which it is appropriate that is really under debate. No one claims that it is inappropriate to spoon-feed a 9 month old. To some extent, I happen to believe that some guidance, influence, and even decision-making is part of what being a parent is all about, and that it doesn't suddenly end at age 17 (which is when most kids begin applying for college.) But a parent who tries to influence a kid to NOT attend school is exhibiting the same behavior.

    I like ahoo2u's example, of how her influence has decreased. Some parents made the decision to quit being involved when their kid turned 12, or 15, or whatever. Some parents are still too involved (IMHO) with their 30 year olds. But it is the involvement in trying to influence the outcome that is the problem, not the outcome itself. So some parents who refuse to be part of the process are also controlling it, simply because they know their children don't have the skills to do it alone, and therefore "help" them fail.
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  • vicariousparentvicariousparent 5754 replies186 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 5,940 Senior Member
    >>>aalright anyone who even takes this quiz is most likely a helicopter parent.>>

    LOL! I agree.

    But some of us already know that we are helicopter parents so we didn't even bother to take the quiz!

    I think any parent who bothers to set up a C.C account and has >10 posts here is helicoptering.
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