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"COPTER QUIZ"...are you a Helicopter Parent?

Papa ChickenPapa Chicken Registered User Posts: 2,841 Senior Member
edited January 2008 in Parents Forum
.....more on this wonderful subject.... :)

from: Helicopter Parents - WPTV NewsChannel 5
HOVERING MOMS AND DADS

ARE YOU A HELICOPTER PARENT? You've heard of them. They're in constant contact with their children and make most of the big decisions for them. And when things get tough, they're all too ready to take their children's side and fight their battles for them. They're the ever-hovering helicopter parents.

THE EFFECTS: Helicopter parenting can have negative effects for all involved, especially maturing teenagers are eager for greater independence. It's only natural to want to help your child, but helping your child become an independent adult is perhaps the most important and difficult thing you can do.

THE RIGHT BALANCE: Think of yourself as a coach. You're there to provide structure, give advice, and serve as a role model, but it's your child who needs to step up to the plate. Instead of keeping track of college application deadlines yourself, for example, work as a team to set up a calendar or weekly planner and let your child take charge of meeting those deadlines. You can also help by sharing your own strategies for staying organized.

HERE'S THE QUIZ!.....
COPTER QUIZ: Are you hovering too close during the college admissions process?
Take our test and find out.

1. Do you search college websites for your child? YES or NO
2. Do you have a strong influence over the courses your child takes? YES or NO
3. Do you play the lead role in planning your child's activities? YES or NO
4. Are you planning to prepare your child for campus interviews? YES or NO
5. Do you plan on directly contacting faculty or coaches? YES or NO
6. Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? YES or NO
7. Are you planning to write your child's application essays? YES or NO
8. Do you meet with the high school counselor without your child present? YES or NO
9. Have you helped your child find a job? YES or NO



If you answered YES to more than half of these questions … you are hovering and may jeopardize your child from growing into a self-sufficient adult.
Post edited by Papa Chicken on
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Replies to: "COPTER QUIZ"...are you a Helicopter Parent?

  • anotherNJmomanotherNJmom Registered User Posts: 345 Member
    lol, I'll game. (take vacation break at home, nothing better to do)

    1. Do you search college websites for your child? YES, but only after he comes up his initial list.
    6. Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? YES, for those at his list.

    Guess, I'm not qualified.
  • mountainsmountains Registered User Posts: 756 Member
    1. Do you search college websites for your child? YES with child
    6. Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? Absolutely since I'll be footing the bill

    Does this mean I'm just a "hang glider" parent?
  • JHSJHS Registered User Posts: 18,350 Senior Member
    Well, I did four of eight, but no more than three for any one child.

    Who hasn't helped a kid get his or her first job? In one case, it was just telling her that I had seen a "Help Wanted" sign.
  • Singersmom07Singersmom07 Registered User Posts: 4,173 Senior Member
    Four out of eight here, too. But I think performance majors require a little more. I did not do as much with the others. The logistics of auditions were my area so I used the materials and websites to set up the spreadsheets and manage dates. I also did the final scholarship negotiations with the faculty. She is also shy so I would help her get ready for interviews but going over possible questions.

    This motorized hang glider is in the hanger though. She is happily settled in her perfect fit school.
  • citymomcitymom Registered User Posts: 343 Member
    1. NO
    2. YES
    3. NO
    4. YES
    5. NO
    6. NO
    7. NO
    8. NO
    9. YES

    So I do not qualify. Not even very close. OK
  • worknprogressworknprogress Registered User Posts: 1,536 Senior Member
    1,2 (high school),4,6.

    Now that she is where she wanted to be I have happily landed the helicopter. I can say with utter honesty that until the college selection process, I wasn't even close to being a helicopter parent and so now it is easy to going back to my former life with her settled in. We didn't meddle in course selection, ask about grades, etc. I know she is self motivated and self reliant and is much happier telling me of her own volition what is going on in her new life.
  • nyumomnyumom Registered User Posts: 761 Member
    That's really cute!
  • HeliMomNYCHeliMomNYC Registered User Posts: 373 Member
    I'm 4/9 and should probably get a new screen name...
  • SequoiaSequoia Registered User Posts: 1,651 Senior Member
    3/9, what a relief....if lurking on CC for hours on end were added to that list, then it would be a definite 4/10...not bad.
  • PackerPacker Registered User Posts: 125 Junior Member
    I only got 3 of 9....I actually thought I was a helicopter parent, but I guess I'm really not.
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 23,011 Senior Member
    1, 8, 9 = yes. I am close.
  • TheresaCPATheresaCPA Registered User Posts: 661 Member
    I'm a 1, 4 (only because she asked me to role play the interviewer), 6 and I am tempted to do 8 (just to verify that the transcripts are going out) and arn't we supposed to do number 9? It's called defending your pocketbook.
    I'm borderline-- any thing now could push me off the edge!
    I never picked her classes for her but reviewed her choice and yes butted in this year. D then complained that I did not force her to take enough AP classes!
    She picked her college choices and did research. Her P's made one suggestion for an instate school match and it has a state grant opportunity.
  • ChristcorpChristcorp - Posts: 1,177 Senior Member
    Interesting questions. I don't personally think that all these questions can always be answered no. Nor do I believe that answering yes to any one or more questions is necessarily bad. Also, none of the "Sort of yes" answers below were ever done without my kid's knowledge and agreement. So, in my description, I don't believe that I answered any of the below questions in a "Negative" way. But then again, there are some parents on this forum that believe that ANY help from a parent is a hindrance for their kids. That it's some how "Not Fair" to other kids who don't have parents who are as caring and involved. I definitely believe that there are some parents who are helicopter parents. I just don't believe that it can be determined on 9 finite yes or no questions. If all of these questions are ONLY intended in reference to college age students, then that is one thing. If it's asking about a parent raising a child, then is something else. Such as courses, activities, meeting teachers, etc... Many times this is a parent's job. Some kids wouldn't choose challenging classes, activities, etc... Anyway, here's my opinion.

    1. Do you search college websites for your child? Clarify (I look at the ones HE applied to)
    2. Do you have a strong influence over the courses your child takes? NO, not since 7th grade.
    3. Do you play the lead role in planning your child's activities? NO; (But when they were little; elementary school; I made sure they got involved with activities. At 6-12 yrs old, they don't know what they want. I get them involved, and if they don't like it they don't stay in it. If they like it, they stay with it.)
    4. Are you planning to prepare your child for campus interviews? NO; none required
    5. Do you plan on directly contacting faculty or coaches? NOT really; (Son was already accepted to the colleges academically. Sent emails to coaches with stats to see if they might be interested. Nothing beyond an info email).
    6. Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? Depends; (Only the ones he applied to and were interested in. After all, I'm the one paying for it probably. He received literally 15-20 a week. Most of which the kids never requested info from).
    7. Are you planning to write your child's application essays? NO
    8. Do you meet with the high school counselor without your child present? NO, not officially. Unofficially, parents, teachers, counselors, principles, etc... see each other all the time. Discussing the kids is a normal topic.
    9. Have you helped your child find a job? NO

    I think something that I recognize in this list is the difference between a large school/urban setting and a small school/rural setting. (Both up for interpretation). I grew up in the New York City/New Jersey urban areas where I went to public school. The ONLY TIME a parent say a teacher, counselor, principle, etc... was when the kid was in trouble or if you were indeed a helicopter parent who was a control freak. Also, most parents seemed (Busier) and therefor as long as their kid was passing, not in trouble, not pregnant or doing drugs, you left them alone. YES, that is how our urban schools were. In the smaller school/rural environment, schools are more of a social event for the entire community. Sporting, musical, drama, art, etc... events among the schools attracted many people in the community. Not just parents. Teachers, counselors, principles, etc... were also neighbors, same church, their spouse might work with you, etc... It is more a COMMUNITY and not a place that took care of your kids for 6 hours a day.

    I guess what I'm saying is that this is also one of those times where a finite answer can not apply. A YES for one person could be bad, while a YES by another parent could be totally normal, acceptable, and productive for their child. Many of us have heard of people complaining about certain standardized tests as being "Socially Biased" based on a person's background and environment. Well, this is an example of that.
  • MomneedsadviceMomneedsadvice Registered User Posts: 368 Member
    4 out of 9.... phew. Personally I think # 7 should be a winner-take-all question. If you are planning to write your child's essays, you ARE a helicopter.
  • hudsonvalley51hudsonvalley51 Registered User Posts: 2,481 Senior Member
    I'll plead "guilty" to two charges:

    1. Do you search college websites for your child? YES or NO
    6. Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? YES or NO

    I think my wife is totally innocent. Both of us have spent considerable time talking to our daughter about her aspirations, interests, college options, job prospects, etc. but the initiative has generally been on the daughter's part. I can't say that the level of parental involvement will be the same for daughter #2 since she is a very different person, but I don't think my wife and I by nature are the helicoptering sort. (don't know if the kids would agree)
This discussion has been closed.