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Would it make any sense to live on campus a mile from home??

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Replies to: Would it make any sense to live on campus a mile from home??

  • historymomhistorymom 3302 replies165 threads Senior Member
    Yes...financially,maybe not. But as far as the social and emotional sides are concerned, living away from home and in the dorm for a year is a key part of adolescent development which, if affordable, makes sense.
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  • worknprogressworknprogress 1523 replies13 threads Senior Member
    New posters - $50
    Comforter, sheets, blankets - $200
    Rug, curtains, $75
    Microwave - $100
    refrigerator - $100
    towels, bath caddy, robe, $100

    Living away from home? Priceless
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  • blackeyedsusanblackeyedsusan 2416 replies107 threads Senior Member
    TC Mom -- We live about a mile from the school my son decided to attend, and we encouraged him to live on campus. Actually, it didn't take much encouragement, as he probably would have chosen a different school if he knew he would be living at home.

    At first he almost didn't even apply to this school (Rice) because it was too close to home. He ended up getting into wonderful schools across the country (from Cornell to Johns Hopkins to Wash U to USC and others), but in the end when he compared the programs he was interested in, the environment of each school and the cost, Rice was one of his top 2 choices. And when he visited in April for admitted students weekend he realized that once he was on campus he felt a million miles from home. For example, he went out with a group of 5 undergrads to a Vietnamese restaurant at 1 am on a Monday night. (He didn't do that in high school.)

    The residential college system at Rice is so wonderful and supportive and inclusive that I think he would be missing out on a lot of the social aspect of college if he was living at home. He has met people from all over the world and has grown tremendously over his first semester as a freshman. I can't imagine it would be any different if he was going to school farther away. His roommate is an international student, so he's experienced a different culture even though he's only a mile from home. (And it made it possible to bring his roommate home for Thanksgiving this way!)

    There are a lot of great schools out there, but just because one of them is "in your backyard" doesn't diminish its value to your child if it's a good fit. Best of luck to you and your daughter.
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  • Just_A_MomJust_A_Mom 120 replies21 threads Junior Member
    We live in a university town and our state university is a five-minute drive from our home. Although my D is not attending this school, most of her high school friends are attending, and I can't think of a single one who is living at home.
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  • nngmmnngmm 5613 replies95 threads Senior Member
    In a college where most of the students live on campus, living at home, especially during freshman year, can be very "socially taxing".
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  • great lakes momgreat lakes mom 3067 replies28 threads Senior Member
    Lots of my Ds HS friends in our university town live in the dorms. 5 minute drive from home. My kids wanted more diversity, so are farther afield. But...it's a great school, as is Mac.

    Just 2 days ago had a family over for dinner. The D is a Mac Senior, French major, who had an internship in Paris as a 'study abroad' semester. About the most culturally and educationally involved semester abroad I've heard of. I was jealous, as my French major D at another LAC doesn't have that opportunity.

    There are many ways to be away from home, summer jobs, abroad semesters, moving to a different part of the country after graduation. Luckily she'll be at a school drawing from the entire country, if not the world, so diversity of experience will be possible with roommates and classmates.
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  • goldstarsgoldstars 13 replies5 threads New Member
    Luckily (or not, depending on which way you were leaning) you wouldn't have to make a choice if she ended up at Macalester. Students are required to live on campus for the first two years. There might be a loophole, but I couldn't find one (Macalester Admissions.
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  • ticklemepinkticklemepink 2720 replies44 threads Senior Member
    Post #8 and #18 are absolutely right in what I know.

    In reference to kid not coming home- my uncle went to school an hour away from his home with a car. Not once in his five years at that University (he did BA/MA) did he come home other than school breaks. He loved his experience so much. Parents were shocked- they thought he'd use his car to come home on weekends on occasion! But everyone's pleased.

    Same goes for me- I go to school 2 hours away from home. Location was a factor when I decided to transfer out of school that was physically isolated and 5 hours away by car (and I didn't have a car and not too many people drive this way). Unless there's something going on at home (big family gatherings or holidays), I don't go home. I'm perfectly happy to stay at Colgate and there is soooo much work to do! But my family and I manage to see each other at least once a month- either I go home with a ride or they come down for a meal and a sports game. Also, sometimes I get so fed up with the craziness on campus that I really appreciate being around my family whether they come for dinner or I go home for a night just to take a breather and see something from outside the bubble.

    Also, in case you haven't quite been reading between the lines, the relationship between the parents and children often change quite a bit once the children go off to college. There is more respect in a way that the parents aren't the children's enemies anymore and the parents don't see their children as babies ready to fall at any time and want to catch them before they get hurt. You're all adults here. So your D shouldn't factor location too much unless she wants a far more diverse campus (which cities can do very well).

    Besides, your D will really appreciate having home-cooking whenever she wants to! And free laundry.
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  • mom60mom60 8375 replies514 threads Senior Member
    Also live in a University town. The school is popular with local students. Can't think of a one who is living at home.
    From what I have seen some come home often, some not at all. I have one friend whose son doesn't come home but likes his Dad to come take him out to dinner one night a week to get away from the cafeteria food.
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  • citygirlsmomcitygirlsmom - 12783 replies375 threads Senior Member
    Tc= one question to ask Why would you want her to live at home....what would be YOUR motivation for that, money aside?
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  • b@r!um[email protected]!um 10272 replies175 threads Senior Member
    How about Haverford College?

    It seems to fit your criteria exactly except for the location... but it is only a 20-minute train ride from central Philadelphia and there are a lot of neat shops and restaurants within walking distance from the college.
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  • flowers & 3am'sflowers & 3am's 48 replies10 threads Junior Member
    Neither Wellesley, Mt Holyoke, nor Oberlin fit the "urban" criteria. Amherst isn't too bad, but in my opinion Amherst seemed like it offered good food and a few other things, but not really the offerings of a city either. I don't care about that, personally, but if the OP's daughter REALLY wants to attend a college in a city, those schools aren't great choices. If she is okay with wellesley despite that, I agree that Mt Holyoke, Smith, and Amherst may be good options also. Also, perhaps look into Simmons.

    Note: Some may be confused by my grouping of wellesley into "non-urban." Wellesley is not actually that close to Boston. Yes, on paper it seems like a few miles away, but those are a LONG few miles, and if she attends with the hope of easy or regular trips to Boston she will likely be very disappointed.
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  • originaloogoriginaloog 2631 replies14 threads Senior Member
    IMHO, an important aspect of college is becoming a responsible, independent adult. So yes, in most instances it would be a good idea to live "away" from home. I also believe that there are real benefits from moving off campus at some point in time too. Again it make the transition to post college life a bit easier.
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  • walkinghomewalkinghome 7524 replies298 threads Senior Member
    We live in a college rich area and every year about a dozen HS graduates decide on the local U's. I only know of two that lived at home and commuted. Both did it to save money and were not all that happy about it.
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  • SlitheyToveSlitheyTove 6187 replies161 threads Senior Member
    An anecdote to consider: my parents live a couple miles from one of the major campuses of our state U. When they originally bought their house, part of their thinking was "great, we'll be able to save money because the kids will live at home during college." Unfortunately for them, I (the eldest) had no interest in living at home while attending classes. After they'd experienced me not living at home (I was 400 miles away), they went through a total about-face with my younger siblings and insisted that they *must* go away to school. My parents thoroughly enjoyed not having to worry about us, or, at least, only worry about us in the abstract, not the concrete. I suspect that my living on-campus would have given them a similar sensation of relief.

    Amusingly, two of my siblings ended up living at home and attending the local campus. In both cases, it was after freshman year, which seemed to make all the difference in how well my parents and my siblings managed things. It also helped that finances were not the reason for the transfer.
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  • TCMomTCMom 38 replies8 threads Junior Member
    Thanks to everyone for your great advice & suggestions. In response to Citygirlsmom about why I would want my D to live at home...I guess I'm not encouraging her to live at home, but college has just changed so much since I was there! At that time, at least in our city (which included a branch of the U & 1 private college), the only people who went away to school were the very smart or the very rich (of which I was neither). Everyone else lived at home & went to one of the local schools. Obviously, things are a LOT different now! I think she would really prefer experiencing a different part of the country as part of her college experience, but I worry about the transportation costs involved if she ends up on either coast. But, if she finds someplace where she thinks she'll be happy & get a great education, I guess we'll find a way to deal with it!
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  • historymomhistorymom 3302 replies165 threads Senior Member
    TC mom...just because she might go away to school doesn't mean you cant establish parameters of where she can attend. I think it's perfectly appropriate to let her know that you would like here to stay within X distance from home.

    Each family is, of course, different, but we have told our girls that they need to consider travel expenses into the whole college cost deal. What they have determined, quite on their own, is that they want to remain in the Rockies or on the west side of them with one exception. Anyway, my point is that if you live in Middle America you have some awesome schools and it won't be neccessary for your D to travel to either coast tofind a fantastic educational experience.
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  • TheDadTheDad ! 9905 replies323 threads Senior Member
    Well, with French/IR and already considering Wellesley on the table, I'd be remiss in my role if I didn't suggest a look at Smith. (The two were D's "finalists.") Ah...I see others have already suggested Smith. *Great* Junior Year Abroad program in France.

    Fwiw, I'm one of the "hawks" on "going away" to college, for a number of reasons I won't belabor here. In the total scheme of things, travel expenses are the pimple on an elephant's butt and I'd *never* make a decision based on travel considerations within the US. They may come home less but this, too, is doable and if the college they're at is a great fit then nobody minds...too much.

    What F3AM said about Wellesley and Boston: 45 minute trip in each direction, minimum...she'll get into Boston far less often then you might think. A function of parochialism by local town government crashing head on into highway design and planning. Downtown Northampton is only a five-minute walk from Smith and while it's population is only 30K, it's hip and happening...it had been a concern of my big-city D when she was investigating schools and it's passed with flying colors. If it's beginning to feel just a little small in her senior year, it's more a function of a junior year spent doing interesting things in D.C. and Eastern Europe than any intrinsic quality of NoHo.
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  • wis75wis75 14381 replies65 threads Senior Member
    Live on campus. I was from a suburb of the U I attended, know how much I would have missed- a friend's home was very close, her mother even worked for the dorms and she was never available for those night time activities. Ideally leave town, but at least leave home for the freshman experience.
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