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Did I let my D down?

245

Replies to: Did I let my D down?

  • DamarisDamaris Registered User Posts: 269 Junior Member
    Yes, I do think you daughter had a hole in the middle of her college list, but it was probably her decision. If she had chosen to apply to more schools, I might have suggested taking a look at Middlebury, Bowdoin, Davidson, Vanderbilt, Georgetown and Northwestern. Those are popular fallbacks for Williams and Dartmouth.
  • jrparjrpar Registered User Posts: 2,135 Senior Member
    My answer comes from two perspectives I have on this:

    First, as a Williams alum, I strongly encourage your daughter to stay on the waitlist and to write a letter to Williams affirming that is her first choice and why it is (if that is true) and enclosing any "updating" info she might have; if she would definitely go there if accepted, her letter should say that. I forget the exact number, but I think Williams took a fair number of kids off the waitlist last year. (I think the # is on the Williams website - if not, I remember reading it here on CC).

    Secondly, as a parent of a child who was accepted ED at Colgate this year - I would encourage you to take another look at Colgate. There will be plenty of kids there with stats like your daughter's (my kid, for one!), and Colgate has a lot going for it. Go visit it again! The Alumni Memorial Scholar program is a really nice honor.
  • DadofB&GDadofB&G Registered User Posts: 239 Junior Member
    Illini..., You are right; there will be fantastic kids at either Hamilton or Colgate (or for that matter at U of Rochester, whenever the heck they send their financial aid package!). I didn't want to give the wrong impression... I was very surprised at the offers.

    Maineparent, Thanks. Yes, back to my original question, Bowdoin and Middlebury did come to mind. Maybe Wesleyan? We are NE people. and would probably not look outside the NE or mid-atlantic states for S.
  • curmudgeoncurmudgeon Registered User Posts: 12,128 Senior Member
    DadofB&G, I have pm'ed you on your Colgate financial news. That is very exciting to me. Possibly direction changing. Thanks for your candor. I learn at least one thing on this site a day. At this rate by the time my unborn grandchildren are applying, I'm going to be ready!
  • AlumotherAlumother Registered User Posts: 6,239 Senior Member
    If your D liked Williams and Dartmouth I don't think she would like Wesleyan. Physical similarities, gaping cultural differences.
  • maritemarite Registered User Posts: 21,586 Senior Member
    >>Probably they will invite her over for dinner and ask if she wants to babysit too>>

    Hey, didn't David Stockman, Reagan's budget director, get his start in politics by babysitting for Daniel Patrick Moynihan when he was a Harvard Law student and Moynihan was a prof there? But seriously, most colleges have independent study opportunities.
  • TheDadTheDad Registered User, ! Posts: 10,228 Senior Member
    DOB&G, my D was in something of a similar position but wound up completely happy: denied at HYS, going to Smith. She was also accepted at Wellesley and Barnard, which on some microscale might be better than Smith, but Smith was the better fit. But speaking of fit, if there's a narrow middle between HYS and WBS, none of those schools were particularly good fits and she didn't apply. I suppose you could argue that Brown, Tufts, and Georgetown would be in there and all are great schools...but for one reason or another, they were outside her bullseye, so there's no use regretting it.

    Fwiw, I had worried a priori that she might not be as challenged at Smith as at Yale...fat chance. She's doing well but she's religiously burning the midnight oil and setting a blistering pace for herself to accomplish it.
  • maritemarite Registered User Posts: 21,586 Senior Member
    I agree that Wesleyan would not be a good fit for someone wanting to be at Dartmouth or Williams.
  • MotherOfTwoMotherOfTwo Registered User Posts: 2,110 Senior Member
    DofB&G - My daughter received a merit scholarship from her ED school, and similar thoughts to yours ran through my head. By after thinking it through, we should be glad that our kids have a chance to attend excellent school and receive scholarships, too. I have sent you a PM with a more detailed version of my thoughts on this.
  • DadofB&GDadofB&G Registered User Posts: 239 Junior Member
    TheDad, If she ever takes a math course, even "How to use an Abacus", I know she'll be burning the 2 AM oil.

    Alumother & Marite, Yes I agree, D has a cousin who went to Wesleyan. The fit would be lousy. The issue was more of what schools were "above" Colgate and "below" Williams et al.
  • AlumotherAlumother Registered User Posts: 6,239 Senior Member
    Here's a possible scenario. Dad of B&G, MotherofTwo, maybe your kids absolutely had a better than 50/50 chance at getting into that slightly higher tier. But even 70/30 means someone is the 30. The tier of schools they did get into who gave the good dollars know that. So with merit aid maybe it's like that kind of a bid where you don't spread your risk. You just give as much as possible to the ones you really want, the ones you know have a good shot at the higher tier but you hope you can get them with $$$. The crapshoot part plays a role in this statistically. The colleges absolutely believe you have as good a chance as a whole set of students who apply to Crapshot U but not usually to them. So it might not be that there is a huge gap on a broad basis, just that these schools take a few very powerful shots at getting their "reach" kids.

    I know some of these math parents can name the statistical principle I am struggling with here....
  • minimini Registered User Posts: 26,431 Senior Member
    As a parent of a D. who turned down Williams,, and looked at many of the places you are talking about, I can tell you without question that you are peering at many peas in a pod. Except, in my judgment, the current housing situation at Willaims (the first-year ghetto, coupled with a high degree of clichishness that the administration is openly and overtly trying to combat, making the housing/social scene unstable for the next several years), coupled with a huge hole in the middle of the campus until January 2007 and leaving them without a campus center, to be followed by huge hole where the library is, until 2010, might make Colgate or Hamilton the better choices.

    Ultimately, you leave ALL admissions on the table. Except one.

    Give her a big KISS!
  • MomofWildChildMomofWildChild Registered User Posts: 22,682 Senior Member
    We visited Cogate last week with WildChild and loved it. This was after successful visits to Penn and Princeton. WildChild, who thought he wanted to be near a city at a larger school, was ready to commit to Colgate on the spot. I think you should be thrilled with your choices so far. The kids at Colgate are bright and talented, and I was given a little bit of inside info on just how competitive the admissions process is by the coach we met. If I could go to college again, I would pick Colgate.
  • DadofB&GDadofB&G Registered User Posts: 239 Junior Member
    Mini - Thanks, I will.

    MomofWC, yeah, I'd go to Colgate, too. It's beautiful. I went to the same nondescript state school that most of my family did. Penn's a great school. I was there for grad. school. Philly gets a bad rap sometimes, but I always liked - and felt safe in - University City (20+ years ago). But Penn and Colgate are sure different settings!
  • cricketcricket Registered User Posts: 228 Junior Member
    DadofB&G,

    Just imho, but:

    1) As Sybbie said, your D has not yet heard from Dartmouth. (Why are we counting chickens? I think you are bracing yourself if needed. That's ok. Better to be pleasantly surprised by admission to schools that are so tough to get into, even just by virtue of the number of applicants, than to be sorely disappointed for not realizing the odds.)

    2) That scholarship from Colgate is FANTASTIC. I'd be jumping up and down if this were one of the schools she truly liked.

    3) Why second-guess your list? What does it matter what might be ranked any which wherever above? What matters is that your daughter goes to a school where she will get a good education AND BE HAPPY.

    That beer glass is AT LEAST half full, at least it appears so from where I sit.
    Congrats!!
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