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No Happy News at My Desk...


Replies to: No Happy News at My Desk...

  • cheerscheers Registered User Posts: 5,163 Senior Member
    Rats. Sorry to hear that news Aluminium.

    Sending cyber telepathy from the South Pacific to thousands of Columbia acceptees:

    "You DON'T want to go to Columbia.....You DON'T want to go to Columbia."

    From someone who got off a waitlist in August back in the day....It can happen.
  • newmassdadnewmassdad Registered User Posts: 3,848 Senior Member

    Hang in there. Last year, within a 30 minute period, my d received 4 waitlists and 2 rejections. Fast forward to now. She told folks recently that she wonders now why she even bothered with some of her other apps. She was WL at Columbia. Recently visited a friend going there and found the kids quite unfriendly, so she's happy she did not clear the wl. She has friends at Harvard who complain about everything.

    I think you'll find your kid moves on pretty quickly, especially with some parental support.

    BTW, the toughest thing for my D last year was facing her peers who were less successful academically but still got into some elites she did not. I had told her from the beginning that the "best" don't always win in this business. Athletes, legacies and URM edge is all too common.
  • berurahberurah - Posts: 4,560 Senior Member

    Oh, honey, I am so sorry that your amazing, beautiful, and exceedingly talented daughter had to undergo these disappointments. I have no words of comfort to offer that can truly take away the sting, but I can see that she is the type of gal who fully realizes that her self-esteem and the success of her future endeavors is SO not dependent on being waitlisted at crapshoot elite schools with such an eenie meenie miney mo way of choosing among the most accomplished and determined students in this country.

    I want to offer a GIANT congratulations on the Berkeley Regents Scholarship. Soon, when your daughter's resilience takes over, she will be able to rejoice in this supreme accomplishment!

    I'd give you both a humongous hug if you were here, and I send you all of my love and wishes for the most bright and successful future EVER!

    much love, ~berurah
  • soozievtsoozievt Registered User, ! Posts: 31,723 Senior Member
    Hugs to you. I think what I hear is the hardest part is as a parent you don't want to see your child have to endure disappointments and this is one of the few times you cannot control the outcome for her. So, I understand that you can't bear seeing her disappointed.

    Of course this next thing I am gonna say is a little late now, my philosophy with schools like Harvard and Columbia is to go into that kind of application process NOT expecting to be admitted and if you are, what a lovely surprise. The odds are just so difficult and very qualified kids like your daughter get turned away. As well, I believe she is not done yet and has a decent chance of getting Princeton or Stanford. I say this because she got the two waitlists from the two other Ivies. She IS a contender for schools in this league. Kids waitlisted are usually of the same caliber in terms of profile as those accepted. So, odds are that one of these four schools MAY work out. Of course there is still the crapshoot factor. It seems like she is in the ballpark for those schools and odds are that one might turn out to be an acceptance.

    Does she have schools besides these four Ivies and Berkeley? Or should I say some match or safety schools? Berkeley, as others mentioned, is a huge accomplishment as well and the honors she received are quite commendable. The Ivies are unpredictable and I hope she has some others on her list. I still think one might work out. I also think if she just gets the waitlists, all is not over and she may want to pick her first choice among them and really go for it, letting the school know, sending updates, having her guidance counselor advocate, etc. Ya never know.

    Hang in there. I feel that your daughter will have some good prospects, and in fact, already has one very fine university in her pocket. So, in the end, things will work out. I will assume she has some schools besides Ivy on her list. Rare is the kid who can get into many Ivies. Just one very good school is all she needs and she has one and let's see what else happens. She sounds like a really really neat kid. She has some things in common with my daughter in terms of interests and strengths.

    Let us know what turns out. I am glad she already has her normal sounding tone of voice back. I know my own kids did not dwell on a rejection more than minutes and I am thankful because I knew in the end, something good would turn out and that is all that matters. Your daughter will be happy in the fall some place and you just don't know where yet. Sorry she has to endure disappointments but more sorry for you as a parent cause it is hard to have to see your child endure it but it will make her stronger.

    fingers crossed on the rest of her letters.................
  • sluggbuggsluggbugg Registered User Posts: 1,101 Senior Member
    :p ((((SLUGGHUGGS))))) :p Hoping some of your D's amazing stats filter through cyberspace and land on my S!

    :) ((((CALBEARHUGGS!!)))) :) Mucho congrats!
  • AlumotherAlumother Registered User Posts: 6,239 Senior Member
    Thank you all so much for the support - without this I might have driven my family absolutely insane. So they, unknowing, thank you.
    Does she have schools besides these four Ivies and Berkeley? Or should I say some match or safety schools?
    That's what I, along with DadofB&G, kick ourselves for. No. She doesn't. We looked at Tufts and Northwestern - she didn't like them. I know now we should probably have looked at Duke, Vanderbilt, Emory, and Rice - but she is a redhead who sunburns from even looking at a bluesky, and I was(was)unaware of how much of a crapshoot we are talking about. I didn't know that 1470 was a weakness in SATs, she only took them once....and she didn't study on her own...Princeton Review not so great....

    But we did what we did. And now of course even though she is proud she says the problem with Berkeley is that everyone will be from California, even though she was the one who told me that if she didn't get into the Ivies she would just as soon stay in CA. Yes, our weather is the best, BTW. But the Regents is great. And she is the kind of kid who is undaunted by numbers, or distant professors. All along I have told myself that Cal in some ways is the best fit for her to challenge her desire to be the boss of the world. (As an aside, when she was little, I had to periodically allow her to be the "boss of the day" to survive).

    And I am still holding on to the thought that my alma mater, the alum of my name, will give us a break. Although even if they don't, I love Princeton, I always will. So if anyone else has a kid who gets in and is undecided, send him/her my way for a conversation.
  • overanxious motheroveranxious mother Registered User Posts: 325 Member
    UC Berkeley is seriously COOL...and w/a Regents it's really awesome...

    The WLs just plain stink...I know: been there, done that...my S got a flat-out rejection (how to make a WL feel better: get a rejection instead) from Stanford in December...not sure the sting will ever really go away. He got 4 acceptances in the last week...I like the 4 acceptances a whole lot more than the rejection...

    So, think about Berekely and a pox on all those elites who play mind games w/our our kids (and hence torture us)...you know what's the best thing about all this? How cool the kids are about acceptances as well as rejections...S is happy about his choices, but recognizes there's as much luck in the "yes's" as there was in the "no"...how did they get to be so level-headed and together when they're only 17 & 18???

    As for me: I vote celebrating to the max (let that cyber-champagne flow!) on the good news (Berkeley/Regents is definitely worth celebrating!)...and more of that pox on all those elites who aren't smart enough to accept our kids!

    Here's a hug for your daughter...we don't know each other, but the hug is full of love and admiration for her job well done...
  • AlumotherAlumother Registered User Posts: 6,239 Senior Member
    So tell us your acceptances. Even if it's someplace my D got waitlisted to - I will congratulate you and celebrate for you.
  • momofthreemomofthree Registered User Posts: 1,486 Senior Member

    I recall far too well the year my daughter was applying to schools and hated the three safeties she got into, money or no money, and was waitlisted at the other three choices, Swarthmore, Harvard, and Princeton. She called upon two faculty members who wrote impassioned letters for her to Swarthmore and after some time passed in May, she got in to Swat. It was a really scary time for us, as she was sure she would be miserable anywhere but Swat.

    From my investigations of Berkeley, there are so many opportunities available for students, it is a fabulous place. But my heart goes out to you as you wait to see what happens next. . .it can be so tough. Fingers crossed for Princeton!!!
  • MarylandMomMarylandMom Registered User Posts: 255 Junior Member

    I am all too familiar with the emotions in your home tonight and I sincerely feel your pain for your D. We send our hugs your way and know that this will pass quickly. She will realize how wonderful she is and how very happy she is to have the opportunity and honor that she has achieved. Congratulations to her!!! (and remind her how lucky they would have been to have her in their student body) My D was rejected by Brown (after an ED deferral) and waitlisted at Cornell. But she does have 5 acceptances (Bucknell, Vanderbilt, Syracuse, Wake Forest and Tulane) to choose from with really nice aid as well. I know our Ds will excell this fall at whichever school is lucky enough to get them :) :) :)
  • MotherOfTwoMotherOfTwo Registered User Posts: 2,110 Senior Member
    Please don't focus so much on the "SAT" angle, as your daughter's scores are very good. If you look at the decision threads of the Ivy League schools, it seems like just as many students with SATs in the high 1500's and even 1600 and with almost perfect SAT 2s were rejected as those with lower (but still very good) SATs similar to your daughters. The more I look at those threads, the more the process really does seem like a "lottery" or a "crapshoot." I know it is easier said than done, but please try to relax a little bit during these most stressful few days!
  • sybbie719sybbie719 Super Moderator Posts: 22,621 Super Moderator

    Big huggs and a cyber cone for you in your favorite flavor.

    COngrats to you daughter on Berkley and the regents scholarship (good news, good news)

    Sorry to hear about the wait list (just a temporaty setback) It was nothing she did because all of the Ivies had a bump in applications with the same limited amount of slots for admissions. She needs to think about if she want to take a place in the wait list. It is not over yet as you haven't heard form the last 2.

    We hate for anything to hurt our kids, next year as you see that blur of red hair flashing by you happy as a lark today will be a distant memory.
  • DadofB&GDadofB&G Registered User Posts: 239 Junior Member
    Alumother, I feel your pain, but really, to an east-coaster Berkeley has real cachet! Your D has already met with a huge success - Congrats.
  • sacsac Registered User Posts: 1,547 Senior Member
    Alumother -- I am sorry for your daughter's disappointments today. In a few days, you might suggest she take a look at the Cal Regents website. It brings great things -- a professor assigned to meet with her, a group of other Regents scholars, networking, social events that range from Salsa dancing to an ultimate frisbee team. I know because I spent much time on that site last year and many days trying to talk my son into accepting his Regents and going to Berkeley. (Too close to home for him). His friends who did go to Cal love it. As I did, too many years ago to count. Also, while most of the undergrads will be from California, she should also realize that the graduate students come from all over the world because the Berkeley faculty is world class.
  • wish_it_was_aprilwish_it_was_april Registered User Posts: 603 Member
    Here's one more mom saying Congratulations to you and your D! But while I say that, I also understand how you may be aching.

    When my D applied, she got into her first choice school with merit money, but the rejection and waitlist that she also got from two others still hurt. Much as we say it is a crapshoot, or that they admitted their ballet dancer who was great at math during ED, and that it is not personal, it still can feel that way to our kids, and to us.

    But my D got over it quickly, and yours will too! Berkeley is a really big one! I hope her disappointment/shock soon turns to happy anticipation!
This discussion has been closed.